“Let’s get something straight: You’re not a quality man. You don’t have game. You aren’t a catch. You have simply learned how to lie effectively enough to manipulate a woman into bed.”
By Charles J. Orlando for YourTango
Dear Julien:
I’ve been reading about your latest exploits in Australia. Looks like your “Pick-Up Artistry” got a little messy, eh? Your hotel cancelled your “event”… but I can’t say I’m surprised. You aren’t teaching men how to meet women. You are teaching men how to bullsh*t and coerce women into sleeping with them. In essence, you are cloning you—a pathetic, empty, shell-of-a-man.
It might work for you that some women think you’re interesting/attractive enough hit the bedroom quickly, but let’s get something straight: You’re not a quality man. You don’t have game. You aren’t a catch. You have simply learned (and are now showing other men) how to lie effectively enough to manipulate a woman into bed. It’s stated clearly on your website: You teach men how to “short-circuit a woman’s emotional and logical mind,” which would be laughable if it weren’t so pathetically sad. It’s pathetic on your part for pretending that lying to get laid makes you a man, and sad for the women who are your victims—pawns in your ceaseless quest to find your sense of masculinity.
You are one of the current poster children for Real Social Dynamics (RSD), the Pick-Up Artist consortium that claims to “teach men how to attract women.” But you and I both know that’s bullsh*t, don’t we? You and RSD don’t teach men tips for confidence, attraction or finding love—and respect is a word that is clearly not in your vocabulary. You teach men how to lie. You teach men how to manipulate. You teach men how to pretend to be confident. You teach men how to use women as their personal masturbation device, and then move on to a new woman like a 13-year-old little boy with a perpetual hard-on. What you “teach” is make-believe. But now, you’ve upped your level of pathetic douchebaggery, haven’t you? In your latest “workshops,” it now seems you are also teaching sexual assault.
A man “picking up a woman” by pulling her head to his crotch isn’t just abusive; it’s also a felony. It’s sexual assault in the purest sense of the word. It’s men like you that make good men look bad. You walk around thinking you are doing good in the world, and proclaim to show men what it means to be masculine. What many people don’t realize is that in addition to preying on women, you’re also preying on the men you claim to teach.
Before I wrote this letter, I connected with three of your “buddies” in RSD (on the condition that I keep them anonymous). They started the conversation by singing your praises, but I wasn’t as concerned with their opinion of you today… I wanted to know why they contacted you in the first place, and I wasn’t surprised with their answers. These men—like countless others—are men who come to you are looking for answers. Many of them are men who have been shunned by women for the whole of their adult lives. Some were bullied in middle school, and others are unsure of how to approach someone of the opposite sex without being laughed at. They are terrified of rejection and afraid of being vulnerable enough to show who they really are—lest they get their hearts and psyches stomped on like they did when they were kids. And what do you do? You prey on their insecurities and train them on “techniques” that provide false sense of confidence. And in your latest seminars, you are showing them how to act like an abuser. As such, these men go out and hurt women before they get hurt themselves.
In short: You and your cohorts are taking good men who are just afraid of being hurt and teaching them to become predators. And the women who cross paths with of one of your self-proclaimed disciples can end up in worse condition. A woman who goes home with a datingpredator will (of course) regret her actions—questioning her intuition, and wondering why his lies didn’t ring up a 10.8 on her Bullsh*t-o-Meter. But her future can actually be worse then her initial experience. She could end up believing that all men will treat them this way. As I’m sure you know, if you hurt someone deeply enough, they will lash out and hurt others—kind of like you are doing. Which makes me wonder…
Were you picked on as a kid? Did you find yourself in powerless situations—bullied and hurt like the men in your stead—and now you have decided that you will hurt others as some kind of payback to those that hurt you? Instead of hurting women—and teaching other men the same—why not teach something positive? I’ll tell you why: It’s because you are emotionally bankrupt. You are afraid of rejection and terrified someone will figure out the confident man you pretend to be is actually just a façade. And now you are showing others with fragile self-esteems how to follow in your footsteps.
The irony is that men like you always learn later that treating women like sh*t, lying and sleeping with as many as possible is an effort stroke your own ego and validate your masculinity… and to do that, you are forced to find new women constantly because:
- They figure out your true intentions quickly and move on;
- You are afraid of getting too close to any woman due to your fear that she’ll find out that you are emotionally vacant;
- You’re insecure in yourself as a man and you are counting on external validation to bolster your fragile self-esteem. In essence, you are outsourcing your masculinity and self-validating by ensuring a woman will find your line of bullshit compelling enough to allow you to have sex with her.
I might feel bad for you … if it weren’t for the emotional destruction and confusion you leave in your pathetic wake.
You’re not a seducer. You’re a manipulator at best, but I think predator is a more appropriate title. It’s easier to pretend to be the perfect guy and hit-it-and-quit-it; it’s much harder to invest in a relationship and keep it great long-term.
Let me know when you hit bottom … or when you have run out of soul to sell.
Of course this is just my opinion. I could be wrong … but I doubt it.
–
Originally appeared at YourTango
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I’m not sure what the writer is discerning, but it’s not really “de-bunking” anything, just a rant without any real logic or comparisons with citations. Poor writing.
Don’t let this guy make your mind up for you, because he clearly hasn’t even taken the time to find out more and do a proper comparison to let you decide yourself.
Lol, everything this guy says is wrong. Julien does teach real confidence, you fuckin dumbass obviously haven’t watched any of his shit, you fuckin chode. Julien teaches men to be more outgoing and take what they want, and women like that, so fuck off and go fap to some porn you chode.
For all the GUYS who disagreed with the writer here and have pure adulation for the perv Julien, try to give a GOOD LOOK AT YOURSELVES and admit — to yourselves especially — that you’re ALL LOSERS! That you agree with the perv because you pathetically can’t get a woman or hang on to a woman because there’s nothing else good or admirable or even TRULY MASCULINE about you without resorting to violence and abuse against women! Hence LOSERS GUYS! TOTAL UNDENIABLE LOSERS! So go hide under your momma’s skirts or your dad’s shadow and stay there!
I think u should go fuck yourself.
he has done a great job.
Thank you tayler and julien, even tht u did it for yourself but anyway
Exactly!!! RSD is best and Julien is one of the best, go fuck yourself chode!! 😀 He is no pick up artist thats for sure, hes a guru now!!!
You on the other hand look like a fat chode, Julien would never hate on another “pick up artist” like you do, hes actually working hard and does shit, but u obviously dont have anything to do, youre a clown in my book.
Driven mad by the power of envy, the writer constructs a lurid fantasy world in which he can heroicly berate the evil Dark Knight Julien, defending the honor of ALL WOMEN…. until he realizes that these women are not being “tricked” into having sex with Julien in a club bathroom, they’re choosing to do that because it’s exciting, and the cocky badboy who may mistreat them is exactly what they are signing up for. Welcome to the reality of hook ups in the 21st century! Hope the writer enjoys his celebacy… if he just can’t take it anymore he can… Read more »
You aren’t writing any sense.
and in the end it was just not true ,but people are easy manipulated by what they see and don’t understand
JULIEN IS A FRAUD AND A PIECE OF GARBAGE–HE SHOULD BE ARRESTED AND CHARGED.
Thanks for the great article. This Julien is a disgusting scumbag who uses foul language in his videos. Grabbing women is assault and the women should call the police and get him arrested. Lying to a woman and getting her into bed with fraud is rape–yes, it is rape.
His victims need to file police complaints against him and other PUA creeps who cross the line, harass women, assault them, use foul language against them, etc. That will teach him.
Charles,
You aren’t wrong — near spot on!
Thanks for the lucid write-up.
Best to you,
soh
Its a natural urge for men to want sex. SO FUCKING WHAT ? RSD gives men the tools to get as much consensual sex as they possibly can. WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FUCK SLUTS ? Every man in his right mind does. RSD has nothing to do with rape. Real confidence or not. Makes no difference when you are getting laid. Thats what we want ! Sorry for the brutal truth its a pre wired urge in every single man alive. Weather some will admit this or not is another story The more sexual encounters a man has growing up.… Read more »
Anyone know his real name and history?
I had a guy, total stranger, trying to grope me in a pastry shop. When I asked politely twice to knock it off he told me old women like me like young men to show affection. I turned around, he pinched me, and I punched him. When the police came he was questioned and carted off in handcuffs. Nobody has the right to touch or make unwelcome advances towards anyone. Instead of ignoring the perps bad behavior call him out and shame them. They don’t like being embarrassed, like the basement dwellers they are.
I’m don’t even know what to say about this. Actually pushing a woman’s head down to your crotch and teaching other men to do the same…. The last women in the video was trying to bury her head and push away and he kept her gripped in a headlock. I don’t even have the words for this level of misogyny. I just don’t understand how this happens and how so many men seem to enjoy it enough to want to pay money to learn about being like this.
Erin– I agree with your assessment of Julien’s techniques…
If you watch some of his videos, he says some really awful things about women…that women have the attention span of an ant….that women have short attention spans…etc. etc. His favorite phrase is “Pimp it!” …I suppose that is his view of the world….that men like him are pimps and that women are little stupid animals who need to be corralled into being his whores…
Thanks Lela. You know, if Julien was one guy, that would be one thing. The fact that he was able to cultivate a business out of these teachings, that enough men respond to them for him to make money from it, is even more disturbing.
I actually read “The Game” by Neil Strauss (a journalist and former shy geek)….he describes the so-called founders of the PUA community and the even geekier mentor of Julien Blanc, Tyler (aka Owen Cook, a pale, shy guy who couldn’t even make eye contact with a girl in the beginning)….weird stuff, but fascinating….it seems that some of the guys who attend RSD (Real Social Dynamics), which is a branch of the PUA community set on financial gains and dissing their former mentors, are something like “social robots”, who memorize the routines and pickup lines they learn in PUA conferences and… Read more »
I’m going to check it out because part of me is just stunned that these guys make businesses out of this stuff. How many women actually respond to these guys? I can’t help but think that these guys BS alot about their success. And on the other hand, I am sure there are some young and very insecure young women that do fall for these tricks. When I was younger, and unsure of myself and totally insecure, I was pretty desperate for male attention and I mistook any attention as good attention. Which it was not. Older now, more discriminating,… Read more »
Well. English is not my first language. I know of RSD and Julien. Actually older women is usually more fun, and more willing. They’re more secure, and they are more willing to let guy and simply enjoy an outgoing guys company. Which then again results in more interest in a confident guy. The girls don’t let them get away with it, or sometimes they might, but most of the time, it’s like when you are picked up and having a crazy dance. It’s weird, but afterwards you have more familarity and people tend to be more relaxed. That’s the message… Read more »
Leia. I would like to know your sources, because I don’t think they exist. They are against routines, they want to cultivate a good foundation. Actually The Game by Neil Strauss is superficial, but since then the overall pickup community moved a lot in the more foundation based direction. They’re not against their former mentors, even though I think Tyler might be a bit unhappy with Neil Strauss, but hey, that’s their personal history. I feel targeted by your judgment. Do I judge you? Do you think computergames advocate violence in teenagers as well? Because that actually just got proven… Read more »
My sources?
(1) “The Game” by Neil Strauss (Vassar grad, Rolling Stone and New York Times journalist)….read it…! Neil’s judgment of “Tyler Durden” (Owen Cook) and “Papa” (Nick Kho), the founders and leaders of RSD (Real Social Dynamics) is all in there…
(2) youtube videos from RSD (Real Social Dynamics) by Tyler, Julien Blanc, Jeffy, Alex, Brad, etc. ….you should watch the videos…this is all stuff that is directly quoted from them…stuff that PUAs would know by heart…
Okay, fine. I will play Devil’s advocate for all the internet bandwagoners who can’t stop praising this article. I find this article to be silly at best. Perhaps misinformed or ignorant would be better adjectives? Don’t get me wrong now. The underlying theme is right on. If you’re looking for a deep emotional connection with a woman and relationship that will be fulfilling for both of you, do not use Julien Blanc’s methods under any circumstances. Unless you’re extremely lucky, such an attempt is almost certain to end badly. However, this article stretches WAY beyond that underlying theme and works… Read more »
Chris, clearly you recognize that treating a woman as described by this PUA isn’t good. You admit that treating a woman this way could end badly. You make a clear distinction between how to treat women one may want a relationship with vs women one may want casual sex with? What if you gave just as much respect to the women you wanted casual sex with as the women you wanted relationships with? Novel idea right? No one says you have to fall in love with every woman you want to have sex with. But neither do you need to… Read more »
Novel idea? How so? Your sentence implies that I or other men do not treat women I only want sex with respectfully. Just because Mr. Blanc is a complete and total douche doesn’t mean every guy who wants to learn pick-up secrets is. I briefly skimmed over some of Julien’s material and based on my personal experiences, found it to be somewhat useful but also filled with a lot of bullshit. I found a MUCH better bit of reading material to be Dating to Relating by Mr. L Rx. He starts the book out by discussing a topic quite similar… Read more »
Chris, I am always willing to learn more about myself and work on myself. Please point out in my post where my emotions have rendered me illogical. And after that, please check out an article on GMP about “gaslighting”. Because I hope that you too are always willing to learn a little more about yourself and work on improvement too. My emotions are some of the best parts of me. Sometimes I speak passionately. I am not embarrassed of this. My ability to speak with passion does not render me unable to make logical arguments. It is my passion that… Read more »
Chris, I have no problem with people having meaningless sex, you’re right, in some instances it’s the best thing for two people. But Julien Blanc actually told a group of men that “If you’re a white man in Tokyo you can do whatever you want.” Some people say that’s taken out of context, but if you watch the whole video … errr … no it’s not. Most people in the states get most offended by the hand on neck choking trick (hey, I wasn’t there, I won’t try to guess context, could have been a joke!) Also, the grabbing women’s… Read more »
Thank you… saved me typing a wordy response… Stop being a bunch of whiney weiners, there is much that goes on between Men and Women and people get hurt sometimes.. I dont really dig juliens style of interaction but I also cant deny its effectiveness. I wouldnt replicate it to a T most certainly, some of it is entertaining to watch sometimes a bit overboard Julien is obviously a douche but douches are everywhere you might have to rid yourself of one trying to woo the girl your after. If your with a chick who can possibly fall for these… Read more »
And this douchebag has the nerves to call himself an “artist”… repulsive human being!
This is the epitome of the reason why the video of the woman walking in New York was made and put out there. This guy may not be cat calling, but he has taken it one step further to actually psychically push himself on woman. When will people understand that you can’t just do this shit. People need to stop pretending they are some “alpha” because you aren’t, you are equal to everyone that lives in the same road, city, county, country and planet as you. Attitudes like this are utterly abhorrent and need to be made to see that… Read more »
Thank you so much for writing this. Predatory misogyny needs to be called out .
Some years ago after an heart breaking breakup, a year of aching and then an incredibly awful and needy way of connecting with some I started looking up pick up stuff. I got reasonably decent at being able to have sex with a woman very quickly and essentially manipulate her into attraction quickly. Sadly there are ways to do this that, simply put, work. However they only work with women who have a fractured sense of self-esteem. Women who are in some ways needy themselves and wanting to be validated by being liked. I began to feel sick with myself… Read more »
Thank you for putting words to the intuitive sense I’ve had that PUA is predatory. Ten years ago, there was an unfortunate run-in with one of these predators who wanted to hire me to edit his book. The day we met so I could read the manuscript, he launched one misogynistic rant after another. I could feel his deep hatred of women – and absolute denial of his contribution to any relationship issues – coming from his pores. It was a Hannibal Lechter moment I will never forget.. Still, the continued popularity of PUA in some circles begs the question:… Read more »
“Still, the continued popularity of PUA in some circles begs the question:”
The other question is why is PUA seemingly so successful? If it’s so predatory and bad, surely most women would be completely turned off. This case is the extreme (though it sounds very diff to most PUA’s I’ve seen) but what about milder forms?
Do you really need that question answered? This article literally outlines why it is successful in the first place! Lying to women and misleading them obviously works to get what they want from them aka sexual access. The PUA community is interested in “banging sluts” and getting their numbers up, not quality relations with women that aren’t coerced or alcohol-fueled. Obviously these men need help with approaching and interacting with women, but NOT with the goal of sex because that’s just dehumanising women to being masturbatory devices, like the author mentioned.
According to Tyler/Owen Cook of RSD, Julien is the master PUA of his RSD group….he just stops strange women in the street and picks them up (literally)….he looks a bit messy and sweaty at times with his thin crumpled t-shirt…but he thinks he is “awesome”….he does a video where he just proclaims the awesomeness of his jeans (which is an exercise in professing self-confidence)….that video is okay if that helps some poor schlub who is lacking in confidence… Julien is a dark character…Owen has said that he was homeless at one point and he helped him to get into RSD…I… Read more »