The heavy metal band Anthrax helped me understand love and acceptance.
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I grew up in the Midwest during the 70s and 80s, and up until my late teens, I was well on my way to becoming quite the racist. Not the Skinhead, black boot, Swastika wearing kind, but the more disguised kind with a growing virus of bigotry in my head that was starting to spread to my heart.
I was never actually taught to look down on others because of race, I learned by the example from the society I was a part of. Now this is definitely not to say that all people in the Midwest are racists, far from it. Nor is it to say that bigotry doesn’t exist in all regions of our society. There is certainly a lot of it where I’m from though, and when I was growing up in the Midwest, it was just a part of life, like summer humidity or euchre games.
These types of racism were a part of my life, and by the time I was an adolescent, I had accepted this as the way to see the world.
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I grew up in a world full of glances to see who’s looking before telling a racial joke, remarks of “Yeah, they are always are complaining about something”, and endless stereotyping. These types of racism were a part of my life, and by the time I was an adolescent, I had accepted this as the way to see the world. I remember sitting around with some friends when I was 16, we were talking about how it would be cool to invent a time machine and give the Confederate soldiers machine guns. These are the types of ugly sentiments I was beginning to feel comfortable carrying around.
I was big into following. It was just easier, and I wanted to fit in.
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I feel ashamed and embarrassed as I recall that part of me from the past. The bigotry I held, combined with the general sense of anger and frustration of being a teenager, even got me in a couple of fist fights, instigated by my own dumb ass.
As many teenagers do, I found comfort and companionship in music. I was a total headbanger, and metal was my life soundtrack. I was into everything from Metallica to Motley Crue. I grew my hair out, to emulate my heroes. Mostly, because I didn’t feel much of a sense of identity of my own. Sort of the way I emulated the racism around me, I was big into following. It was just easier, and I wanted to fit in.
Anthrax though, wrote numerous songs expressly about the ignorance of racism. One that I can honestly say changed my life, was a song called “Schism”.
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Most metal bands of the time were not really writing about politics or race relations. Sex, partying, and Satan were the subject matter in much of the music I listened to. I had tried some punk music, but most of it didn’t really speak to me at the time. One metal band on constant rotation in my tape deck was deceptively different from the rest; Anthrax. While Megadeth and some others did write about politics, it was mostly about the evils of government and media. Anthrax though, wrote numerous songs expressly about the ignorance of racism. One that I can honestly say changed my life, was a song called “Schism”.
ThrashMetal1995/Youtube
Within the driving beat and crunching guitars of that song, are lines such as:
“It’s so easy to hate your brother, it should be hard”, “Love and hate come in the deck together. Play your card. Love or hate can rule your life forever.”
One lyric that especially hit me:
“If we were blind and had no choice, differences hid, would we hate each other by the tone of our voice?”
The more is listened to the State of Euphoria album, the more that line stood out to me. A message of love and acceptance, delivered in a nice loud way that spoke to me.
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I started questioning why I was so upset with those who were different than me, and why I thought that they deserved the contempt and ridicule that I, and so many others, had given them.
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That was a spark. Or rather, one large drop in a shower of things that made me re-examine my views, and ultimately doused a flame of hate and ignorance that was spreading within me. I started questioning why I was so upset with those who were different than me, and why I thought that they deserved the contempt and ridicule that I, and so many others, had given them. I found no answer, other than I had just done it because so many around me did, and that I really didn’t know shit about those I looked down on.
This was all towards the end of high school. Within the time period of my late teens/early 20s, my worldview began to expand. I met more and more diverse groups of people, and realized that we are all human. I began to contemplate the struggles that those of other races, backgrounds, and orientations have gone through, and did my best to imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes. Moving to Chicago at 20 years old and suddenly getting to know people from all over the planet, really drove it home.
I see people dividing themselves along lines that are imaginary. Lines that are “taught” to us without being in school
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Now, I am in my 40s, and I see all the things that are happening around our human differences. I see great things like marriage equality, and I see horrible things like Dylann Roof. I see people dividing themselves along lines that are imaginary. Lines that are “taught” to us without being in school. I view myself now as one of those doing their best to build as many bridges as possible. I know we are all brothers and sisters. This includes calling out injustice when I see it, which is another value that rock music helped instill in me (in my 20s, socially conscious bands like Pearl Jam and Rage Against the Machine were very influential on me).
To some who knew me back then, I’m sure I am seen as just a loudmouth liberal know-it-all now. Perhaps even some of the people with whom I would listen to that very music with back then, now take exception to what I have to say. I take that title of “Liberal” and wear it like a badge of honor on my chest, whether I’m donating my scanner to a newspaper that helps the homeless, or arguing on Facebook about sports team mascots.
I see what is happening all over today with the growing hostility and fear of Islamophobia, misogyny, homophobia, and Black Lives Matter. I think on how I could have easily gone down that path myself. We all live on this same ball of mud together, for whatever reason, and shining a light on the darkness of prejudice is the only way we will ever move forward.
I am proud of the man I have become, who wants to help build others up rather than tear them down, thanks in part to that crazy “devil-music”.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
I know Jason personally and have always admired his open mind and kind heart. =)
I enjoyed this article, I hadn’t thought of Anthrax in years and just so happened someone at work mentioned them a couple days ago and we were listening to some songs. I grew up on this stuff too, Anthrax was one of my favorite. I do recall appriciating the messages they were conveying. I was a bit the opposite of you, I was someone who even as a kid was feeling that the world needed less hate. Something on this subject I find odd though…a couple of the guys in that band were also in a band called ‘Stormtroopers of… Read more »
I still listen to them, though my musical horizons have broadened quite a bit since I was a kid.
Jason,
Great stuff !!! It is important to commit to our personal evolution and ongoing grabs at courage. Keep writing and Living. Are you on Twitter ?
Hey, thank you very much. I have a Twitter account, but don’t really use it.