The Truth About Sex During Marriage

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  1. Herschele says:

    Hmm. So the real problem we should be discussing is “Why single men aren’t getting sex more frequently”

    Rather than encouraging single men to marry or else risk long periods w/o any sex, as this article seems to do.

    • Jsmooove says:

      You may have missed something, like the beginning middle and end of the article.

      • It’s a valid question. Men are constantly bombarded with the message that sex doesn’t matter or is somehow less “meaningful” unless it happens on a woman’s terms, which generally means within the confines of a committed relationship. For men who are able to secure frequent casual sex outside of relationships, marriage is a minor concern… which is something that articles like these tend to leave out.

        After having been in multiple long-term relationships and also single for extended periods of time, I’m not sure that being married does anything to change the equation. If you’re the kind of guy who was having lots of “free” sex before marriage, then getting married isn’t going to improve your position. For others, it’s a toss-up. Some will do a lot better, others will do a lot worse. There are many good reasons to get married, but I wouldn’t count “more, better sex” among them.

        • Exactly. It isnt that marriage is going to ensure a frequent sex life to a man. It just provides that hope to them.

          Its sad that men have to base their decision regarding marriage, upon sex.
          Marriage should be for those who want family and kids.

          I wish men could obtain casual sex easily so they would only marry if they really really wanted to rather than for the incentive of a regular sex life.

  2. Dominic says:

    Absolutely correct that sex in a long-term marriage requires effort. After 17 years, I acknowledge my duty to perform sexually whether I have the same inclination or not. If you love and care for someone you sublimate your own selfish desires. One key is selective amnesia: don’t compare your current sex life to your prime days or early pre-child marriage. Just enjoy, fantasize as needed, and employ alcohol, if necessary. :-)

  3. I wonder what is the statistics for women.

  4. FlyingKal says:

    Isn’t “paying” with sex to get a favour or two out of your partner, a wee bit sad…?

    • It is, but we are looking at things from a woman’s perspective. The author is a woman.

    • It depends on what value you put on sexual favors vs other favors. I’m anorgasmic, so sexual favors generally don’t do it for me.

  5. Others have already mentioned how the article suggests that married sex is transactional sex, so I’ll address another problem:

    Check out the data for partnered and marriage men versus single men reporting about vaginal intercourse. Married and partnered people experience sex 2-3 times weekly.

    It is curious that the article contains a table that tells a different story. For Married groups the only group for which the median response was “2-3 times per week” was age 18-24. For the age groups 25-29, 30-39 and 40-49 the median response was “A few times per month to weekly.”

    Also, for 60+ “Partnered” reported getting more than “Married” did.

  6. Emulator says:

    So even when I get married, I’ll probably only be having sex a few times a month, unless I’m lucky and get to have sex as many as 2-3 times per week? That’s pretty disappointing, to be honest.

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