Jonathan Delavan takes an old story and issues a call to the fatherless wherever they may be.
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We all know the story of Odysseus’ epic journey back home, but how did his absence affect his son? Or his society for that matter? When relationships between father and son, adult and child, are lost, so too is society.
How well do we really know this ancient story beyond the cliff-notes version we may have received in high school or college?
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The ancient Greek epic, The Odyssey, has survived through the ages to become a cornerstone in Western literature and culture. Simply mentioning its name can elicit dramatic scenes, perilous settings, and the heroic deeds of Odysseus—an exemplar of ancient Greek masculinity—and his long journey home in the minds of people today. However, how well do we really know this ancient story beyond the cliff-notes version we may have received in high school or college?
Frankly, I am not all that familiar with the details of the epic as I would care to admit. So to remedy my natural ignorance, I have chosen to listen through lectures given by Professor Elizabeth Vandiver on The Odyssey as offered through The Great Courses. I’ve only had the chance to listen to the first five lectures of the twelve-lecture series so far, yet my eyes have become wide-open over what I have already learned!
Would it surprise you to know that the first four books (or chapters/acts by today’s perspective) of The Odyssey do not at all focus on Odysseus but rather his grown-up son Telemachos?
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When Odysseus left for the war against Troy, he also took with him all the men of Ithaka who were of fighting age. In other words, every single man who was old enough and healthy enough to wear armor, hold a shield, and fight with either spear or sword were conscripted into a battalion to fight with Odysseus and his Greek allies. This would mean all the men of Ithaka between the ages of 15 and 50 were sent off to war simultaneously. Those who were left behind were women, children, and men who were too old, too sick, or too disabled to fight.
That’s nothing new in human history. Whenever there have been great wars, entire generations of men have been called to fight and die for their countries—voluntarily or otherwise. However, what we modern readers fail to realize about the Trojan War was just how long the surviving men were away. According to the epic’s timeline, when The Odyssey begins a full twenty years have passed before Odysseus’ return. Twenty years Ithaka went with no able men to lead their society or to raise the sons and daughters left behind!
That’s where we find Odysseus’ son, Telemachos, at the beginning of the epic: a young man in his early twenties who grew up without his father and raised by his faithful mother. Furthermore, Telemachos is often described as being “unrealistically immature” by the epic’s narrator. Obviously the bard is stressing the fact that Telemachos had not been taught “how to be a man” and maintains an attitude or mindset of a child in Greek society.
A metaphor can easily be made of how men and women who grow up without a father-figure never learn how to protect themselves or their self-worth from would-be abusers.
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Despite being old enough to take over his father’s estate, he has left it in his mother’s hands to manage—not for himself but in his absent father’s stead. Moreover, he is overwhelmed by the hundred or so suitors that roam his family’s estate eating his food, drinking his wine, abusing his property, and sexually harassing his mother. Clearly Telemachos struggles with asserting himself; or at least with mustering the courage and inner-strength needed to take on his needed role as the “man of the house” in order to protect his family and estate from these pillaging men.
Focusing on this tidbit alone, a metaphor can easily be made of how men and women who grow up without a father-figure never learn how to protect themselves or their self-worth from would-be abusers. As absolutely true as this metaphor is for many, it would be too premature to leave this epic with, as there is more to these opening chapters than meets the modern eye.
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As Elizabeth Vandiver explains in her second lecture on The Odyssey, these first four books are deeply couched in the ancient concept of xenia—roughly translated as the “guest-host relationship”. This social concept was so important to the Greeks at the time of The Odyssey that it was considered a venerated duty ordained and enforced by Zeus himself as a core of civilized society. Thus, those who broke it while being either the host or the guest could very easily incur the divine wrath of Zeus for breaking it. With this in mind, Telemachos’ dilemma with the suitors becomes a little more complicated.
From the host’s standpoint, Telemachos has been a gracious host to the plethora of suitors that have essentially taken residence in his estate, upholding his end of xenia dutifully. However, the suitors have utterly ignored the tenants of xenia as guests of Telemachos, and done so with blatant contempt to the sacred ritual. And so Telemachos is left with what he sees as a difficult choice: remain the dutiful host and hope the suitors leave or change their ways, or force them off his estate and risk Zeus’ wrath for being a “bad” host—a no-win situation as far as he is concerned, thus his likely paralysis over the issue.
And yet this opening story goes even deeper!
When men no longer observe the traditions and morality of their fathers’ society, can there be a civilized society anymore?
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Remember the untold reality that the people of Ithaka were left with no able men for a good twenty years by this point. With that in mind, it is safe to say that Telemachos is not the only man there to grow up without a father. The same can be said of most of the suitors plaguing Odysseus’ estate, having grown up with absent fathers as well (Ithaka was not the only Greek state to go to war with Troy after all). The extrapolation Vandiver makes from this unspoken fact is that this present disorder of xenia by the suitors represents the greater disorder within Ithakan society being experienced by this new generation, who have been marked by the great absence of fathers.
With no fathers to teach and guide them on how to be good men for their families and good citizens of their communities, these suitors represent a kind of break-down of society when men no longer seek the good of everyone and only chase their own gain or pleasure. When men no longer observe the traditions and morality of their fathers’ society, can there be a civilized society anymore? Homer’s Odyssey seems to have explored this deeply pertinent issue at the dawn of Western Civilization.
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Now a deeper contrast can be made between Telemachos and the suitors, both having absent fathers growing up: On the one hand you have immature/inexperienced young men who try to do the right thing, but don’t know how or don’t have the courage to follow through; on the other hand, you have large numbers of men who become apathetic or hostile to the rest of society and pursue their own gain at everyone else’s expense. Either way, these men do not create a pretty picture for Ithaka’s future.
Telemachos may have grown up without a father who could have prepared him to face his troubles, but that does not mean he has to live without masculine guidance or support—or feminine guidance for that matter.
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It’s by this time in the story that Athena, disguised as a man, arrives at Telemachos’ door step to help him prepare for Odysseus’ eventual return—much to his ignorance of her intentions. Telemachos is a good host to the disguised goddess, but eventually informs her of his dilemma. Athena’s advice to young troubled Telemachos is two-fold: to call a council of all the men of Ithaka to address the issue of the disrespectful suitors, and to seek out his father’s comrades, Nestor and Menelaos, for news about him. Essentially, Athena’s advice for the young man boils down to seeking out older and like-minded men to help him assert his self-worth against the abusing suitors.
This part of the story is a precious gem of ancient wisdom!
Many today would simply scold Telemachos to “get off his ass and ‘be a man’ for once!”—leaving him all alone to solve his own problems, as a “man should do” apparently. But not Athena, the goddess of wisdom and warfare. She tells him to seek out other men, mature men, to help him. Granted, it is up to Telemachos to undertake these efforts himself—Athena can’t do it for him—but neither does he have to deal with his problems alone. He can gain the support of the other men in his community before confronting the suitors. He can seek out his father’s friends—those of the older generation—to receive the fatherly advice and guidance Odysseus could not give him in his absence.
Telemachos may have grown up without a father who could have prepared him to face his troubles, but that does not mean he has to live without masculine guidance or support—or feminine guidance for that matter.
Yes, it will be uncomfortable, difficult, stressful, to reach out to other men and women for help and insight; but isn’t that part of the process in becoming an adult, a mature man? Acknowledging your limitations and seeking to overcome them not simply through sheer will but through constructive relationships with self and others.
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There are men and women around him that Telemachos can turn to for support and guidance. He is not alone. Yes, it will be uncomfortable, difficult, stressful, even awkward for Telemachos (or any young man in a similar position) to reach out to other men and women for help and insight; but isn’t that part of the process in becoming an adult, a mature man? Acknowledging your limitations and seeking to overcome them not simply through sheer will but through constructive relationships with self and others.
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Returning to the 21st century, the problems of a fatherless society as described in The Odyssey continue to haunt us today. Just take a look at inner-city neighborhoods and schools and you will see large swaths of boys and girls who are growing up without a consistent father-figure in their lives. With no able or trustworthy men in their lives, these inner-city kids often end up turning to violent gangs, abusive personalities, or addictive substances to find meaning in what has been a disparaging world—much like the young men in the opening scenes of The Odyssey.
Mothers, teachers, and community leaders across the country strive valiantly day-in and day-out to be a positive influence in their children’s lives. For some children, that is enough for them to find their way through life. But alas, there is something special about a father’s presence in a child’s life that cannot be left as a void (as it is with a mother’s presence as well). It demands to be filled with something, anything, meaningful outside of ourselves. If it is left unfulfilled, then more than likely tragic disaster will await both the child and those around him/her. Just as the fatherless suitors all faced their fatal fate upon Odysseus’ return.
When healthy relationships are lost: between father and son, adult and child, the individual and the community, so too is society. So too is our future.
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There are no easy answers or fixes to this growing problem of a fatherless society. Any viable solution will be at its core the same given to Telemachos millennia ago: building meaningful relationships with men of all ages. When healthy relationships are lost: between father and son, adult and child, the individual and the community, so too is society.
So too is our future.
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Photo by Randy Salgado
Jonathan, it will be interesting to see what you discover in the final seven parts of the series! So far, you’ve offered us several powerful perspectives to inquire and think with in your post. What I love about the Greek tragedies is that they communicated greatly needed wisdom that could be understood by most people and easily shared widely. The life scenarios demanded and demonstrated the highest virtues of Greek thought and philosophy that permeated Western thought and education. The quest to realize these virtues in everyday life, not just for the Greek heroes and gods, became the foundational narratives… Read more »
Unfortunately, I’m not familiar with The Odyssey. Perhaps later lectures will provide some insight as to how the problem was corrected, if it was corrected? Clearly the story runs parallel to what we’re seeing and have seen in today’s society. Incredibly, what’s happen has happen in just 30+ years and has been known to be happening for the same number of years, 2 generations. The million dollar question is why was it allowed to happen? The Odyssey appears to address what’s happen but IMOP, in order for changes to be made, we have to look at the causes and that’s… Read more »
You bring up a great point Tom! The problem with the suitors is corrected towards the end of The Odyssey, although it’s not exactly done in a positive way. When Odysseus finally returns, he plans with his son, Telemachos, and two of his loyal slaves to kill all 108 suitors together. His plan succeeds and all four of them kill all of the suitors—almost all of whom were unarmed and defenseless against an armed Odysseus and his armed posse. Incredibly cruel by today’s standards, but Vandiver points out that there were no judicial courts or system during the time of… Read more »
“But alas, there is something special about a father’s presence in a child’s life that cannot be left as a void (as it is with a mother’s presence as well)” Wisdom of the ages in a single sentence. Athena is also wise, and for two reasons. First is that she knows that she cannot do it. No woman can. Not truly. They can nurture, but they cannot build the boy into a man without the help of men (mother AND fathers, not mother and a once a week visitor). Second is, that unlike our feminist leaning society, she does not… Read more »