Bob Schwenkler on how transforming his sexual practice ended up transforming his relationship in some very unexpected ways.
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As I sat down to write this piece I began with my story: How taking charge of my sexual stamina has allowed me to not just become a better lover, but to become exponentially more confident, transform from a sexually closed off man into a Sex Warrior (my girlfriend’s words), and experience deep, deep connection in my relationship.
But it soon became a co-written piece with my girlfriend, my woman, Natalie.
We talk openly about our sex life because we believe that profound connection through relationship is the birthright of every human. We believe that the only way to do this is through open dialogue and mutual support. We share in hopes that your standards for connection, ease, and joy within your relationship might be dramatically raised, or even shattered.
Any part of yourself that you see reflected back through these stories is vital information that can allow you to utterly transform your relationship.
Everything we speak of and much, much more is possible for you.
A recent piece I published here on GMP on the practices of Advanced Sexual Stamina, How To Make Life Better With Better Sex, got well over 1,500 social shares (click here if you’d like to read it). The message is clear. Both men and women crave the deeper connection, better sex, and increased confidence that these practices can unlock.
Just like every seed has the potential to grow into a strong and powerful tree, every man holds within his body the capacity to achieve these advanced states of giving and receiving pleasure, and to experience the impact these practices can have in every area of his life, especially his relationship.
So then, this piece is for you.
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Love Bigger, Better, and Become a Supremely Confident Man
When I began the practices of Advanced Sexual Stamina a year ago I had no idea how tremendously they’d impact my life.
The reason I started them was simple enough, and it didn’t just have to do with my sexual stamina. I wanted to show up lovingly and powerfully both in and out of the bedroom.
Almost immediately I began to notice powerful shifts taking place in my life. Up until then I’d never been one to have the confidence to meet new women while I was out and about (or anywhere else for that matter), so I was very surprised when, within the period of about 24 hours, I met and asked 3 different women out on dates.
I also began to show up more confidently, lovingly, and powerfully at work where I coached (and still coach) men who want to love bigger, have the most amazing sex of their lives, and get paid doing work they’re passionate about.
But the real magic began to happen when, about 6 months ago, I entered into relationship with the woman of my dreams. When sparks began to fly between Natalie and I, I up-leveled my practice. I dove even deeper into the techniques and mindset of Advanced Sexual Stamina.
It wasn’t just that I wanted to fuck her better… I also wanted the quality of my relationship to be unparalleled. I wanted to be the man that would get bragged about at girl’s night out because of how I showed up both in and out of the bedroom. Not because my ego needs it, but because I wanted the experience of pleasing my woman that profoundly.
I wanted to feel what it would be like to look back at our relationship and marvel at how far we’d come in such little time. I wanted to feel astounded that it had all felt so effortless and joyful. That even if there had been rough spots it was still a divine pleasure to get to work through them with her.
I succeeded.
And how should I know that?
I’ll Let Her Tell You Herself.
Note: Read Natalie’s words as if they were the words of YOUR girlfriend/partner/wife. As you do, reflect back to yourself. How might taking charge of your sexual stamina allow you to experience similar levels of ease, connection, and inspiration within your relationship?
Confidence: One of the very first things I noticed when I met Bob was how comfortable he seemed in his skin. This alone is a huge turn on for me… sexiest thing in the world (I think to most women).
Next was his ability to hold himself so calmly and solidly yet intensely. He has a way of looking at me that pierces right to my soul. I found myself wanting more of that experience, of him looking into my eyes and not having anywhere to hide. To be naked. To be seen in such an intimate and vulnerable way. That thought made the butterflies in my stomach flutter and had my pussy tingling in a way I had never experienced before.
This all happened merely from him being himself and confident in who he was as a man. The words that poured out of his mouth simply acted as a confirmation of what I was physically picking up from his presence, which was that this man was super in tune with himself and what he is capable of creating in terms of deep connection with another human being.
All I could think was “I have NEVER met a man like this before.” My curiosity to know more about him led us to a relationship I could only dream of.
Mind Blowing Sex: Sex with Bob is extremely hot. Hands down better than I have ever been fucked by anyone in my past. It is almost as if he can tune into the parts of me emotionally and physically that are silently yearning to be explored and released.
What is even hotter though is that he is open to feedback and willing to look at the ways in which he can be even more present and connected and able to please me. We started off with good sex, right off the bat, but have worked up to great sex. It’s a process and practice like anything else. We can talk about our sexual experiences without charge, in its place is curiosity and openness.
We explore, play and experiment together along the whole spectrum of sex – from gentle to rough, from making love to fucking, from carnal impulses to souls connecting.
As a result I am tapping into pleasure in an even deeper way and unleashing my desires (even the ones I have not even admitted to myself), because I know he can really be with them and stoke the fires even brighter.
I trust him because of the potent and powerful way he has of handling intensity. I have a pretty high sexual appetite and he can meet me in a way not many men have been able to.
He is not only up for the challenge but revels in it. Another huge turn on!
Deep Soul Connection: I will admit that it still takes a lot for me to trust a man romantically. I lost my dad at age 9 to suicide, but he was ‘gone’ long before that.
For me, experiencing bouts of insecurity due to my fear of abandonment is not uncommon. I have worked long and hard to be vulnerable and trusting.
Yet Bob makes it so easy to be with him because he is not afraid to go to the dark places with me. He has this huge capacity to hold me strongly in those moments of emotional meltdown. I know I can trust him because he is not afraid of my intensity. He feels solid to me, yet also soft because of his compassion and willingness to love big.
I have grown so much as a person because of his own dedication to growth and personal mastery. The range this man possesses is what had me fall in love with him and continue to fall in love with him every day. I know he will be alongside as we ride this wave together, through the ebbs and the flows.
He leaves no doubt in my mind as to his commitment, both to me and our relationship. As a result, our connection deepens in ways I could never have imagined. Best part, we have tons of fun… in and out of the bedroom.
What’s Your Choice?
Natalie and I have done our best to describe the states of pleasure and connection that are possible through the practices of Advanced Sexual Stamina, yet these words are nothing more than crumbs when a feast is waiting just in the next room.
Notice that if you’re settling for crumbs, then that’s what you’re feeding your partner every time you show up in the bedroom… and where else does that show up in your life?
You don’t need to be in partnership to develop these practices. If you would like to become the kind of man that will attract and satisfy your dream partner, the work starts now. Choose to become that man first. Create the space for the sex life and relationship of your dreams and watch the universe shift around you to fill it up with something even better than you could have ever dreamed.
These are much more than acquired skills. They’re new ways of being, and they’re available to the man who is fully ready to step up in every area of his life.
One of the best ways to fully commit is by entering into a supportive, rock solid group environment where similar-minded men will accompany and support you on your journey to becoming the best lover, partner, and man you can be. It’s why I decided to create the exact course I wanted to take (Advanced Sexual Stamina for Men) and asked mentor Christopher Sunyata, a man who is 15 years deep into these practices, to lead it.
Let me know any questions you have in the comments below and I’ll make sure to give you my best answer or point you in the most helpful direction I’m able. As with all the work I do with men and women, my commitment is to you and your path. It’s to you and your sense of aliveness, passion in your relationships, and purpose in your life.
All it takes is a choice: Once you have decided to stop settling for sexual crumbs and own your inner Sexual Warrior the feast will be yours AND your partner’s to enjoy.
Your partner (or future partner!) is ready for you to stop settling.
The only question is: Are you ready?
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Bob Schwenkler is the creator of Advanced Sexual Stamina for Men. If you’re a man who would love to have the best sex of his life and provide deeper and more extended amounts of pleasure to your partner(s) please go to www.advancedsexualstamina.com.
Photo: Pexel
Totally feed into the “have great sex, have a great relationship.” No thanks …. my wife and I didn’t need a book or advise to make great love. Yeah, it’s making love for us. Neither of us had another, we just built on what we had/have. Want to have great sex? It’s simple, give all you have to to the other person, love them with your heart and sole ….. the rest will fall into place. Wonder how many great guys are passed up because they may not be the greatest in bed but will give you his all in… Read more »
I don’t think it’s suppose to be a contest.
Bob, I really liked this piece and I really want the kind of sexlife you and your girlfriend have. It sounds amazing!
Erin, thanks so much for the kind words. It is totally possible! One amazing resource that totally raised my expectations for what’s possible in relationship is The Loveumentary. The creators traveled around the country by car and recorded interviews with the happiest couples they could find.
I began listening and realized that I really didn’t need to settle for what I thought I needed to settle for. I feel like that’s one of the first steps toward transformation: Realizing that more’s possible.
http://www.loveumentary.com