Hugh Weber still isn’t sure why his wife of 8 years said yes, but he’s sure happy she did.
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If I’m being honest with myself, I’m not certain why Amy said yes.
She had built a steady, stable, and sustainable life for herself. Everything that was the deepest desire of heart she had found. She owned a home, loved her job and was adored by a close group of friends who were like family. She was independent and self-assured. Life was simple and smooth.
Moments into our first date, I knew that I could only complicate life for Amy, but that it would be my life’s greatest regret if she wasn’t forever a part of my own.
That first date lasted a week. By the end, I’d met her whole family and she mine. Legend has it that when she first kissed me (& kiss me she did!), angels wept. For three months, we saw each other most weekends and fell asleep most nights on the phone. By the end of the first 100 days, I had asked her to marry me.
It was the single most selfish thing I’ve ever done. And, against all reason, she said yes.
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It was the single most selfish thing I’ve ever done. And, against all reason, she said yes.
We were married that fall. Eight falls ago today. We’ve created two beautiful, challenging and complex humans. We’ve built a home. She’s stood by me while I left a lucrative career and wandered through the professional wilderness. She’s supported us all as endless possibility has reemerged and a new chapter has begun.
Through it all, I’ve realized that her greatest virtue isn’t her beautiful eyes, cool wit or deep loyalty. I’ve realized that she is the one human being I can count on to be brutally honest with me. Not in a cruel way, but in a deeply compassionate and truly loving way. Amy has always been more honest with me that I often am with myself. She refuses to allow the self-defeating insecurities to linger. She refuses to allow the self-congratulatory exaggerations to resonate. She simply sees me as a passionate, deeply flawed, but deeply committed creative, community builder, father and husband.
And, so, eight years later, I’m still not certain at all why she said ‘yes,’ but I know that my life would be less true, less loving, less worthy without her in it. And, I eternally grateful for her.
Photo courtesy of author.