I Know Who You Raped Last Summer

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About Kevin Sampsell

Kevin Sampsell is the publisher of Future Tense Books, a small press based in Portland, Oregon. His work has appeared in Salon, Nerve, Hobart, The Rumpus, Fairy Tale Review, and elsewhere. His books include the story collection Creamy Bullets and the memoir, A Common Pornography. Find him at kevinsampsell.com

Comments

  1. As a male survivor of child sex abuse, incest, and physical/emotional/verbal abuse for years, I had to relearn how to be a person when I escaped home. My handicaps and psychological problems from the abuse are extensive. As often happens to a person raped as a child, I have also survived rape as an adult. The damage is unimaginable to anybody who hasn’t experienced this horror, though those who try to understand, empathize, and give help and support to a victim are priceless to us. 

    What I cannot understand are people who make excuses for rapists and pedophiles, or who believe they should have less punishment or more rights/protections. In many states, if a rape results in pregnancy, the rapist may be entitled to seek shared custody. Five years or less in prison is called “more than enough” or “too much” and the sex offender registry is called “cruel” and “unfair”. What is cruel is a grown man raping his four year old son, or renting his son to others, both to men and women rapists. The victims are treated like liars and criminals, while the rapists and pedophiles are protected and their privacy and rights championed. This is a sick situation that must be changed. 

    Five years or a civil settlement will never be “enough punishment”. Graham James was convicted in Canada, 150 counts of rape against him, and he received two years. This is a sick insult to his victims, who must deal with the damage he caused all their lives. Sandusky got 30 to 60 years, and even that, to me, is not enough. His age doesn’t matter. The ages of his victims certainly didn’t matter to him. 

    Kevin, I applaud you. Post fliers and warn others, whatever it takes. With that much knowledge that this man is a rapist, others need to be warned. Victims should never be forced to report or testify unless they feel they can handle that. It is wrong that it’s so hard to get rape cases to a trial, and then so often justice is never done. 

    Finally, I have to add that this concept of “We must teach men and boys not to rape women” is an insult and disservice to male victims of rape. Some women rape. Some men and boys are raped. We need to teach all people not to rape anybody. 

  2. concerned citizen says:

    I honestly think it should be legal to a) publicly post rapists names and b) I think they should have a full on registry…they have it for child molesters why not rapists.

    • John Anderson says:

      I think most people here agree. There are a few who disagree and there are some, like me, who have no problem with it for convicted rapists. A few (or maybe just one) would like the registry to include convicted false accusers.

    • wellokaythen says:

      If by rapist you mean “convicted rapist,” then I’d tend to agree. If you mean a blacklist of everyone who was ever accused or rumored to be a rapist, then I’d say there’s a risk of libel or slander, which is and ought to be against the law. Unless you’re saying you wouldn’t mind being on the rapist list yourself if that ever happened by accident. I know I’m not a rapist and would not want to end up on such a list by accident. If you’re wrongly on that list, how would you ever get off of it? It’s usually a one-way ticket.

      We all know how effective and accurate blacklists are, right? How could anything go wrong by doing such a thing? The 1950’s are quite instructive here.

  3. Sadly, from the timestamps, it’s obvious that Mr. Mike has difficulty sleeping at night and we know why.

    • Polly, you are disgusting.

    • wellokaythen says:

      Jumping to conclusions here, don’t you think? You can’t really tell very much based on a time stamp.

      Perhaps because of his work schedule he has time to write at night and not during the day.

      Maybe that’s when the server posted the message, not when he finished it.

      Maybe the message was held up in moderation and it’s the moderator keeping late hours.

      Maybe he lives in a distant time zone and he’s actually writing in the middle of his day out there.

      Maybe he’s up because he’s taking care of an infant who needs feeding at 2am and finds it hard to go back to sleep.

      If the time stamp said the middle of the day, then people would accuse him of being a slacker – “why isn’t he working at his job at 11am just like a normal person?” Probably damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

  4. Kevin Sample good on ya!

    We are not an assembly of parts where the “justice system” is the mechanic’s shop. We are community. We ALL must have healthy and continuous cradle-to-grave communications and friendships – which by definitions – includes trust, honesty, safety. We are born with an innate desire to see others happy that results in our suffering if we experience otherwise. For anyone who doubts that, you need to read more science headlines.

    Would that we could be clear enough in our thinking to understand it is a good thing to communicate when we know another is in danger of being a danger to others. Would that we could be able to see and address the needs for the broken-beyond-recognition people before they are so damaged they intentionally rend asunder this fabric of lives.

    Mr. Mike – you do not get to argue or avoid this. You butt is in this leaky boat as well. I suggest you start bailing. Punching bigger holes in the boat and claiming it as your right to an opinion because your making bigger holes on your side of the boat is beyond any fallacy of logistics.

    Big loVe – peace out.

  5. burn the witch (rapist)

  6. Thank you for this

  7. Alanna Fero says:

    Your perspective as a man on this subject is incredibly important. Men challenging themselves with these issues, grappling with the anger, the shame-by-association, the need to make it right and the powerlessness to do so is all part of our society’s movement through rape culture to the other side – to compassion, to interconnectedness, to oneness.

    I watched the impact on my father when both his girls – me at 6, my half-sister at 16 less than a year later – were sexually assaulted. He felt like he wasn’t a good man, wasn’t a proper father because he couldn’t protect us. He carried a gun for over a year and a half til the most violent of the perpetrators went to jail. But something fundamentally shifted in him. He carried a sense of guilt and failure to the end of his days – to say nothing of the bunker he created for my childhood and the bubble wrap he tried to put around my teens. He was a decent, ethical, profoundly loving, golden gloves boxer, standup guy and veritable *horse* of a man who could not prevent the harm that came to those in his care. Rape affects men just as profoundly as it does women. And let’s not forget that men can be and are its victims as well.

    Thank you for your story. Thank you for your caring. <3

Trackbacks

  1. [...] This is a comment by Anonymous on the post “I Know Who You Raped Last Summer“. [...]

  2. [...] had a new essay appear over the weekend at The Good Men Project website. It’s about the rape of a close friend. I sent it to the editor there on Friday and she [...]

  3. [...] These are comments by mike sullivan, Rihannon, and Jo on the post “I Know Who Raped You This Morning“. [...]

  4. [...] I Know Who You Raped Last Summer by Future Tense publisher and writer Kevin Sampsell.  This essay about Kevin’s good friend who was raped by an acquaintance he knew is unforgettable.  It is also fucking masterful.  Another writer may have fucked this up royally because it is such a landmine topic.  Please please read, I promise you won’t forget it. [...]

  5. [...] special (and probably intense) event. I’m honored to be the only guy in this book (they added my essay about rape right before going to print). And next weekend, I’ll be part of the Making It in Changing [...]

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