John Trybulec shares how deep friendships can be formed through fishing, pancakes, and silence.
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He walked across the ice, extended his hand and said, “Hi – I’m (name withheld). Catchin’ anything?”
I was ice fishing.
This is the kind of fishing where you sit in a warm shanty – smart – or out in the cold open air – not so smart – in front of a hole in the ice and wait for fish to bite on a tiny worm.
That was the beginning of our friendship.
Soon, our wives became friends. We went out on our boats during the summer, had cookouts and usually shared a breakfast early on Saturday mornings where we discussed life. Just 2 guys talking about a variety of topics.
We talked about a lot of stuff, but Name Withheld always changed the subject when I asked him about what he did for a living.
He mentioned what he did for a living – one time… after I asked him. He didn’t offer the information.
“I work at store in the stock room,” was his short reply.
He was secretive.
He would wave off the work topic and I figured that I should just not bring it up anymore.
But, I could see that Name Withheld was keeping something from me.
He had a good size, nicely furnished house on a lake. 2 new cars. Nice “stuff” in his house and garage. A couple of boats. He always offered to pay for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
After about 18 months, the secretive nature about N.W. was driving me crazy.
During a early morning Saturday breakfast, I said that I had “something on my mind that was making me a bit unsettled”.
“Are you sick? Is your wife OK?” he said.
“We are both fine.”
“Name Withheld”, I said, “I can see by your home and your belongings that you don’t work at a store in a stock room. If you really don’t want to talk to me about what you do for a living, well that will be OK. But, usually guys talk about their jobs. Is there some reason that you never talk about work?
He put down the fork with a bit of pancake dangling from the tines.
He looked around the room to see that just I was able to hear him.
In a hushed tone he spoke.
“I own a bunch of stores and…”
The stores and other businesses were an impressive list of financial holdings.
“So, why didn’t you tell me?”, I said.
“I didn’t want you or your wife to like me or not like me because of my money. I wanted us to be friends, because we had some common interests and enjoyed each other’s company. Please, pass the syrup.”
A good man, Name Withheld. A friend and a teacher through silence.
Author’s note: No name was offered regarding Name Withheld, because we are still friends and I am honoring his good man style of behavior.
Photo: Lovetotakephotos/Pixabay