“A few years ago, I was seriously depressed, looking for a reason to stay alive. I couldn’t find one. Now I’d like to help others.”
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Yes, this is my last whining article. Not my last article, mind you. Believe me, you’ve in no way heard the last of me. This is the last article I will write for anyone wherein I whine about my past. My past is finished and my future has just begun.
I’m writing this for one reason right now, because someone I know is going through quite a tough time, and she’s looking to end things. She asked me in an email about how I went from being a self-destructive, suicidal asshole to what I am today. This article is my answer to that question.
A few years ago, I was seriously depressed, looking for a reason to stay alive. I couldn’t find one. I had a great friend (now, wife), a decent idea about what I wanted to do with my life, and a decent job, but these didn’t feel to me like a reason to get up in the morning. They simply felt like reasons to “postpone the inevitable”. So I postponed it. Until I didn’t. One day I actually took an attempt on my life and ended up in the hospital.
Eventually, I happened upon the videos of TheMomoZone from YouTube. This guy was, and is the foremost authority on motivation and facing every single challenge in life with a smile and a “give em’ hell attitude”. Picture in your mind a better dressed, more spiritual Anthony Robbins with a shitload of modern charisma, a dash of musical and video genius, capped off with a Canadian (I think Canadian…) accent. *POOF*, you have Momo. It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually I pulled myself out of my depression by doing two things.
Number One: I appreciated what I had in front of me instead of lamenting the things I lacked. I had a great friend. I started dating this friend and today we are married with a beautiful daughter. I had a decent idea about what to do with my life and today, I am a god-damned good writer. I had a decent job, now all that was left on that front was to find a better one, and better circumstances. everything had to start somewhere, and indeed it had to start with me.
Number Two: I got up off my ass and did SOMETHING. Anything. It didn’t matter what I was doing so long as it was something that put me in a positive direction. I stopped eating so much. I started playing soccer again. I started writing again, both music and otherwise. I started living. I took control of my life and said to myself, “I’ve already tried the whole depression thing, I have to try something else because this OBVIOUSLY isn’t working for me.” I went to therapy to deal with various issues in my life. I started looking everywhere for inspiration to love everything about life, instead of always seeing problems.
Not once, not f*cking ONCE did I ever leave my house without watching one of Momo’s videos on YouTube. I eventually downloaded all of them and converted them to mp3s, so that I could listen to them in my car. To this day I watch 3 different videos every day; “The R-Rated Mantra for Confidence”, “Self-Manifestation: Getting What You Want”, and at least one of the “Momo’s Power Bytes” series. I also have them on a playlist so when I’m alone in my car I can just listen to them and get excited about my life. (When I’m with my wife and kid and play that stuff in the car, I get a rolling of the eyes. I’m kind of addicted to motivational audio.)
One day, on impulse I wrote to him, thanking him for making his videos and letting him know that he literally helped change my life. It’s absolutely true. He wrote back not a day or two later. I printed it out and have it hanging on my wall for motivation. Honestly, I never expected to get a letter back from him. Not that he would have ignored me or anything, that’s simply not Momo. Momo is the very idea of “reciprocity”, contained in a human body.
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Some day I really want to get on stage and try and motivate people to do the things they’ve always wanted to do. I’ve started doing this in my articles and writing, but truth be told I enjoy being on stage and just venting to an audience. I hope someday fate aligns the stars so that maybe we could both (Momo and I) do this together. Stranger things have happened, yeah? I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by saying this would be an amazing show…
I mention Momo primarily because he was literally the thinnest part of the wedge that finally opened the door to my creativity and my joy of life again. There were other people who helped along the way, though vicariously. Anthony Robbins’ audiobooks were a part of my motivation regiment, as well. But, you know what REALLY made me the powerhouse of my own motivation? The feeling of success when I finished something I started.
When I finished the first edition of “Ladies First” (That’s right, first edition… The second edition is coming at ya in a few months), I felt so incredibly accomplished. (I felt so good that I threw caution to the wind that night, went out and got good and drunk with my brother to celebrate.) I had set a goal, defined the steps, executed my battle plan and finished the book two whole months ahead of my self-imposed schedule. When I shopped it to agents, I got rejections all around. I’m fine with this, as it simply means I need to make the book better and different than the other sex-manuals on the market. The next time around when I shop the book around, I will get an acceptance. If not, I’ll change my strategy and try again until I do.
The short answer to her problems is simply to try something, anything different than what she’s currently doing. You’ve already tried it your way gorgeous, now try something different. Get some therapy and talk your problems out with someone who can help you, if your friends can do nothing. (Of course, you can still always come to me.) Go outside and sit under a tree with a journal. Give your creativity a chance to make you happier. For some people, they need more than just a bit of motivational help, in these cases there are things and people that can help you.
My main thing was that I needed to find the motivation to get off my ass and do something. You can do it! You have no idea how talented you are, any of you. You have no idea the power you have to change your life almost instantly. If you did, you wouldn’t be having your current challenges.
If you consider yourself an artist of any fashion, check out a book called “The Artist’s Way”, by Julia Cameron. Do the exercises in the book and allow them to change your perceptions of who you are. Watch Momo’s videos and if you feel the need to, write him an email. Email me, or give me a call. Use every single resource you can find to make your life better. You CAN do it! It won’t happen overnight, but it WILL happen if you allow it to.
If you’re considering suicide (as she was), understand something. Once you do it, it’s permanent. Nothing can be done after that. Nothing is so bad in your life that death is the only solution.
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If you have suicidal thoughts or are considering suicide, please call:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline (United States): 1-800-273-8255
A list of International Suicide Hotlines is here.
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Photo: sopasnor / flickr