Tor Constantino explains why we should be grateful for—and act on—the warnings that pain and guilt provide.
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This past week, one of my daughters brought to my attention an annoying beep that kept happening every minute or so in her bedroom, and she didn’t know what it was.
I got up from my reading and went to her room. Before I entered I knew what it was—the battery in her smoke detector was low.
You need to understand that we’ve got 10-foot ceilings throughout our house, and the builder installed the detectors out of reach—even if I stand on a chair to try to change the Duracell batteries.
That means I have to go to the garage; get the seven-foot Warner step ladder; lug it into the house; carry it up the stairs; change all the batteries up there, and then repeat the process for all the smoke detectors downstairs.
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My reason for changing the batteries at the same time is because once one of them goes kaput, it’s safe to assume they’ll all expire a couple days apart. So rather than spend the next two weeks schlepping that ladder in-and-out of the house, I get them all done at once.
Regardless, it’s a hassle and for a second I actually thought about just ignoring the beeping until the battery fully died.
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Regardless, it’s a hassle, and for a second I actually thought about just ignoring the beeping until the battery fully died.
But then I thought a little deeper. What if I forgot to replace the battery? What if there was a fire? What if something happened to my daughter?
I started to feel guilty for even entertaining the thought of not taking action, and I jumped out of my chair and got the ladder.
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While changing the batteries, my mind started to wander about how grateful I was for this warning system. Without that advance warning, a fire could devastate our family and home.
I don’t want to risk that.
I subsequently started thinking about other warning systems in our lives.
Nobody likes pain, but we should all be grateful for it – to a degree. That’s because pain is the most immediate way for us to know that something is wrong in our body.
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The first such system that came to mind was manifested pain in our physical bodies.
Nobody likes pain, but we should all be grateful for it—to a degree. That’s because pain is the most immediate way for us to know that something is wrong in our body.
Once we know something is wrong or doesn’t feel right, we can do something to fix it. Even though we typically view pain as being bad, it is a critical early-warning system that contributes to our survival.
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Think of the worst physical pain you’ve ever experienced it. It probably led to a visit to the doctor or an emergency room. But what if you hadn’t sought out medical help for that pain? What if you didn’t have those painful warning signals? Would you still be alive today?
Even though pain hurts, pain can help.
Just like changing the battery on the smoke detector, the body and its central nervous system require a certain amount of maintenance (e.g. rest, exercise, proper nutrition … etc.) to function.
The next warning system that came to mind was guilt. What pain means for the body; guilt means for the mind or soul. I think guilt makes us aware of our improper conduct, poor choices and hurtful interactions with others.
That can be a good thing.
What pain means for the body; guilt means for the mind or soul. I think guilt makes us aware of our improper conduct, poor choices and hurtful interactions with others.
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Since we can’t escape the fact that we live with other people in this life, guilt helps sensitize us to their needs and where our engagement with others might have fallen short.
A healthy dose of guilt can help you restore relationship with someone you love.
At the very least, it can make you aware of when you’re behaving badly so you can identify areas to work on.
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Regardless, pain and guilt are early-warning systems in each of our lives that can’t be ignored—just like a beeping smoke detector.
Additionally, each of those systems requires maintenance to ensure it works every day and is ready to go when needed—the life you save could be someone you love or at the very least your own.
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This post originally ran on The Daily Retort and is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
Love the analogy you used, Tor. “Even though pain hurts, pain can help” Very very true. It pushes us beyond our comfort zones where change and better await. My only other comment is that I think I prefer the word convicted over guilt. It’s just a personal preference and can’t really put my finger on why. 🙂
Eileen, so good to hear from you – it’s been a while! You make a great point about the subtle difference between guilt and conviction. I could go either way….thanks so much for taking the time to read and post a comment, I really appreciate it!