“I’m In The Friend Zone, Yet I’m In Love With Her!” Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt tells what it takes to become her lover…
Question: I am in love with my best friend and I have been for years. She has put me in the friend zone prison and I don’t ever see myself escaping. How can I get her to see me as more than a friend? She is consistently complaining to me that she can’t find the right guy and I just want to scream “I’m right here!”
Answer: This is the best question! Ok, how frustrating, right? You guys are close, you probably share similar values, you communicate with ease, all the foundations of an amazing relationship; yet, the spark has not been there. You have been in love with her for years and clearly haven’t said anything for fear of losing her, right? That’s the risk, you tell her, she freaks, and then you are not friends anymore. So you would rather settle for friendship than nothing.
One thing I see in common with men that are in the friend zone is they are not using their sexual energy. He is seeing her and communicating with her, feeling her in his heart, but he is not in his pelvis, he’s not in his balls. He’s not letting her know that he is sexually attracted because he is afraid that he will come across the wrong way so he just shuts off his sexual energy completely, does the friend zone for awhile, and then wonders why he can’t escalate to turning her on.
We need to feel all of you. We need to know you can see us, you can feel us with your heart, and we need to know that you are attracted to us. It will awake something in us, if indeed there is a chemistry/attraction there. So I would say start to turn that on. Now, don’t turn it on to a ten, turn it on to a one or two, maybe a three or a four – I wouldn’t go past a five – nothing more (more is for the bedroom). Start to let her know. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Do you want to just have more of a life of being fake, settling? No! So we are going to change that and we are going to have you showing up fully in your life and you will have a wonderful partner. If it is her – awesome! And if it is not, you need to breathe, feel the pain, and move on to find someone who does want to be with you. Either way, it is time to show up, deeply, and move forward.
What I am asking you to do is terrifying, I know. I would love to support you. Many tips, tools, practices and insights are in my www.GetHerToSayYes.com complementary report. They will help you both get into your pelvis AND develop the courage to BE YOU and show up authentically. I coach men like you on a consistent basis. Working together we’ve created amazing breakthroughs. A couple of friend zones turned into romances. And it’s true, a couple friend zones never shifted. It initially crushed him, he got over it, and then he was stronger than ever. Now he has the choice and the capacity to be his full authentic manhood the next time he meets somebody great.
You can do this. Let yourself finally know. Sweet bliss or sweet sorrow… either way it’s sweet for you are being YOU. Great love, Allana xox
Photo: www.BigStock.com
Yeeap. Same here. The sad thing is, the amplification our American society puts upon the paradox of starting relationships this way. By leaving sexuality checked mostly at the door (until it’s ready), friendship has a real potential to show its true colors between two people – but when the “mental baking” is done – only one is ever ready to take it out for the next stage. I’d be curious what the success-failure to launch ratio is. But more important to that point – is what are the left over percentages that actually survive such a flame out. Because like… Read more »