Imagine! Young Men Aren’t the Sex-Crazed Zombies We Think They Are

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About Lisa Hickey

Lisa Hickey is CEO of Good Men Media Inc. and publisher of the Good Men Project. "I like to create things that capture the imagination of the general public and become part of the popular culture for years to come." Connect with her on Twitter.


  1. Richard Aubrey says:

    I suppose we might profitably look for the origin of the myth.

    Said it before: Back in the day, I was a fraternity graduate adviser, loosely employed by the Dean of Students, plugging me into various issues. The guys we had to watch were the ones whose girlfriends dumped them, not the guys who couldn’t get laid this weekend.
    Not hard to drink yourself into the campus health center with a bottle of Jim Beam.

    Yeah, given the evidence, we might inquire whose idea the myth was.

  2. Imagine! Young Men Aren’t the Sex-Crazed Zombies We Think They Are

    Well – if the young give up and stop being Sex-Crazed Zombies, it will just put more pressure upon the middle aged and Alter Kockers to up hold the stereotypes.

    Buy shares in Viagra and Testosterone Patches now!

  3. Relationships full of sex for many men:P Probably far more sex than the average woman wants, which is a problem.

  4. You know, I always took the baseball metaphor differently.
    Not as in playing against an opponent that you have to “beat” or get around. But more as in you have to get the other person on your team and play the same set of rules, to get the bases together.

    Because, you know… As long as the other person says no, none of you are gettin’ any.

    • I thought it was just about being excited that you got lucky, like woohoo finally I’m not a virgin. I never took it as getting a hundred homeruns with others, but only a goal to SHARE with a woman.

  5. Mr Supertypo says:

    some have the Casanova complex, and others have not. Both of them are legitimate.

  6. Yes. Young people have a more difficult time assessing the sexual and emotional risks of rubbing body parts together, but I’m not sure that is really a myth. Intimacy develops much like any other social behavior and is not torpedoed by the casual style hook ups of the younger piglets. On the contrary, these hook ups may be the required ebbs and flow of mistakes required to properly develop the ability of intimacy.

    I have not read your book Andrew, but to be honest, from this and the other article, this seems like more of an attempt at risk mitigation than the shattering of a myth.

  7. Well, I’m early 20s in a loving LTR, and wouldn’t change a thing, but I would certainly put myself in the sex crazed zombie category quite happily. My girlfriend is a wonderful person, but without the sex I wouldn’t bother wasting my time. Luckily she’s DTF pretty much all the time (or however much I can handle without my body falling apart…), and I’ve worked hard at getting very good at keeping her panties wet for me. Relationship game is a wonderful thing.

  8. I have noticed this in my 18 year old nephew. He is attractive, very charming, and constantly being hit on by female peers but totally devoted to romance with his first love. He does tell me most of his male peers are dogs, but that only makes him more aware of what a catch he is!

  9. Life Lessons says:


  10. And the biggest thing in the way of fighting this stereotype will be the experiences of many females.
    Of course, most boys or even men will not be Casanovas in that sense. Most men just dont have access to that much sex. I think it would have been better to figure out how many teen boys/young men want to be Casanovas rather than how many actually are.

    In my experience it seems like men want to have a lot of sex then maybe find love in the process. In all fairness, this changes when men hit like 50 and the hormones aren’t raging as much. Just listening to young men or even most men talk, it is mostly about sex- how much they want it, how they need variety, etc. Its very difficult for me and many other women I’ve known to not believe sex is not a man’s primary interest.

    • ONE of our main drives, not our main drive. Men want intimacy, to be cared for, loved, respected too. I know very few men that truly want casual sex vs a relationship. We probably do have sex to find love at times but that’s more about sex soothing the soul for a while in our search for love. Like walking a jungle, you eat a few berries to keep strength up to find that nice big animal to omnomnom. Silly analogy but you get my point (hopefully).

      My primary drives include in no order: Sex, companionship, trust, warmth n comfort, doing fun stuff together. They all intermix and make each other feel even better. I want love, but if I can’t find love then sex will do in the meantime whilst I wait n hopefully who I have sex with I fall for and she falls for me.


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