Eli and Josie explore the sacred notion of “true love”.
Long answer: There are a billion kinds of love. You know this already, of course. You love your siblings one way, your best friend another, Christina Hendricks another… But even romantic love has something “true” to offer every time you fall into it.
And what’s “true” the first time you fall in love may seem very fleeting later on. Or maybe it will seem very profound as you look back. But every love you find will teach you something new.
Of course, there’s the possibility that your first love will be your only love. I have a number of friends for whom this is the case. They have happy marriages and happy families. Others (including myself) are so glad to have had a number of different types of love, and all of them seem very true. Even the ones that ended badly were lovely and important.
Enjoy it.
He Said: My mama always told me, you have different friends for different reasons. I think you can also have different loves for different seasons (or stages in your life). So… no, first love and true love are not mutually exclusive. Your first love could be a true love. It could be long-lasting, all-encompassing, satisfying, and your last love.
However, I believe you’re not limited to just one true love in your lifetime. Your expectations, needs, and desires (regarding love) may change/grow as you do, throughout your life. We’re ever-evolving creatures. I had no interest in avocados when I was younger, but I sure do love them now.
Seriously, who and how you love is likely to change during your lifetime (though it’s not a requirement for everyone). Be flexible with love, and it will be flexible with you. I’ve found flexibility to be a very underrated aspect for ANY type of love.
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Image of love at first sight courtesy of Shutterstock
About She Said He Said
Agreed.
Besides, I believe any love is “true” as long as it’s sincere when it’s happening; when you really, deeply care for the other.
Its being true has nothing to do with its longevity or its later changing (hey, only dead things never change).
“Untrue” love is when you’re there just for your selfish interest.
Very well and consisely said.
These changing of peoples concept of what love is can especially change in terms of abuse. What starts out as exciting and novel gets old. Then the person can mature enough that they realize that they are in a hurting and not a loving situation. Then they have to decide how to leave.
But, you have to remember that what is undesirable for one person may be exactly what another person wants.
I’ll never forget talking to one of my friends as she was taking her premarital counseling. She was talking with an Episcopal priest and he asked her if her boyfriend beat her. She was profoundly preplexed. “What was I supposed to tell him?,” grinning. “I wanted to say, If I’m lucky! but I told him what he wanted to hear.” She was part of a very loving BDSM couple.
On the other hand I have talked to a number of women as a Hotline couselor that had never actually been hit by their spouce but felt overcontrolled and unloved.
When you talk to victims of abuse that are struggling with do I want to leave it can be frustrating at times because what do you say to someone that says, “Oh, he broke my arm because he loved me.”
At the same time I have helped people disappear even in spite of their relatives.