A woman wonders if her boyfriend is too focused on her orgasms.
Second, what do you think about touching yourself during sex? If you haven’t yet, I strongly encourage you to do so. It’s easiest when you’re on top, and then you can also make it into a little show for him. If you want, guide his hand exactly where you want it, and help him make you orgasm. If you need a little lubricant for this, go for it.
Third, experiment with positions and fun stuff to help you get there. You don’t need to tell your boyfriend why you’re doing the double-scissor squeeze (I just made that up, but it sounds fun, right?), just tell him you’re looking for variety. When you find that amazing spot, tell him, and then try to relax into it. Try to send all your focus to the sensation, and breathe. Another trick is to squeeze those pelvic floor muscles when he pulls out, then breathe and relax when he pushes back in (you know- the Kegels).
If you still don’t get there, cool, go back to your sex-istentialism. But let’s not give up so soon, alright?
He Said: So he’s a giving lover, concerned with your pleasure, and doesn’t want to orgasm until you do? I’m still searching for the problem here. Just kidding – I get it (I think). So he’s overly obsessed with your orgasms, while you are happy and content in simply sharing the experience together. This can be cleared up with a simple conversation. Let him know that he doesn’t have to worry so much, and that you’re having a wonderful time with him, regardless of how much (or little) you orgasm.
You can also let your body do the talking, and focus your attention on his pleasures. Show him how satisfied you can be in satisfying him. I’m sure you can find ways to persuade him. It’s nice that you recognize your boyfriend’s generosity. You sound very understanding as well. Just make sure you don’t short-change yourself. Don’t give up on the possibility of you having a good, strong orgasm with your man (and don’t forfeit your right to have one, if you so desire).
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