Is Shower Sex Always This Awkward?

A man asks Eli and Josie for practical tips to make shower sex less awkward. 

Originally appeared at She Said He Said

Dear Sexes: Is there a trick I’m missing with shower sex? I mean, it’s WAY hot, but it seems like my only options are (1) in a corner getting leg cramps, or (2) on my knees, which hurts like hell on my knee caps with the tough plastic that the shower is made of. Is this a “try it til you figure it out” thing, or a mythical movie type of sex?

She Said: Shower sex doesn’t always create the best scenario for optimum sexual pleasure. But you’re right that it’s hot: the water, the soap, the wet hair, the slippery skin—-not to mention the naughty factor that goes along with sex anywhere other than a bed.

There are ways to maximize the shower-sex pleasure, however. One key tool for great shower sex is a set of extra-cushy washcloths. For doggie-style, fold each washcloth in half and put them under your knees. If someone’s sitting on the floor of the shower, a washcloth under the bum can help a lot, too. The washcloths are also crucial for the knees of whomever is the giver of oral sex in the shower.

A fun way to have sex in the shower, if you have the room, is to lie down on your back and put your partner on top. Then she can arch back into the spray of water and you both have easy clitoral access.

Sometimes shower sex is best left short and sweet by making it a quickie or by starting the interlude in the shower, to be continued elsewhere. Try to draw out the foreplay as long as possible (but keep in mind we’re in a water drought!) by soaping each other up, sliding slippery fingers across each other’s bodies, using the hand-held shower head on each other’s favorite spots, and giving oral sex. Then, just as you’re feeling like you’re about to die if you don’t complete the act, wrap up in towels (but don’t worry about drying all the way off, stay wet!) and move to the bed. You’ll be clawing at each other from all the lead-up and you can utilize all the best in-bed positions.

He Said: Agreed! Shower sex is hot! It’s always fun to clean up and get dirty at the same time. Of course, the amount of positions you can try out is somewhat dependent on the type of shower you have. If you have a small, stand-up shower (no bath), your space is probably limited. However, you can actually use the lack of space to your benefit. Position yourself or your mate against the shower walls for extra good pushing/friction. The tiny confines also make for a good opportunity to get a leg in high up in the air (resting against a wall, while your hands, or your mate, keep you upright, steadying against an opposite wall).

If you have a full shower (with bath), you really have no excuse NOT to explore all possibilities. You’ve got the room, so you’re as free as your imagination allows. And if you’ve got sensitive knee caps, don’t be afraid to squat it out. Also, don’t forget to use plenty of lube as need be. The water actually detracts from the body’s natural lubrication. And please, no falling! We don’t want any slips causing death by shower sex.

If you want a good laugh, read what people have to say about shower sex over on Yahoo!

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Image of a woman drawing a heart on the shower door courtesy of Shutterstock

About She Said He Said

Eli and Josie, friends since college, realized how lucky they were to have one another—an honest friend of the opposite sex who tells it like it is. They wanted to share that with the world and so was born.


  1. At an adult store I visited a few years back, I saw some hand grips and foot rests that suction-cup to the shower wall to give you something to hold on to. I don’t know how well they work (you’d need some pretty strong suction to support more than a little body weight) but could be worth a try.

    We usually start in the shower and finish elsewhere. My husband’s knees start to give out if he pumps for too long while standing, and there’s just enough of a height difference between us that I have to be on my tip-toes to give him the best access, and that’s hard to sustain too.

    Now can someone explain how to have non-awkward hot tub sex? 😉

  2. NeedABiggershower says:

    I love-love-love sex in the shower. Problem is… shower is too small and people (hubby & myself) are too large. Added disadvantage of advancing age & increasing physical limitations also add to making it more difficult. But there is no better feeling than 2 bodies totally aroused, hot, soapy and abandoning themselves to the moment. We always take advantage of the handicap accessible bathroom facilities when away from home, so it’s an added treat to look forward to when we do travel. And yes, use facecloths and hand towels whenever necessary. We have even made use of my shower stool from time to time. Whatever makes it work for you is OK in my book.

  3. Rubber mat on the floor saves the kneecaps.

  4. It really helps if you’re in good shape and coordinated. Plus being relatively close in height helps. I also like the guy who suggests the bar in the shower. Good things, easy cleanup.

  5. They’re called bath mats. They have suction cups on the bottom. Mostly used by grandmas to get in and out of the tub.

  6. oh come on people! grab bars! any hardware store and e-z to install, also known as handicap bars.
    i find two horizontally on apposing (corner) walls, 90 degrees to each other. height as needed.

  7. Foreplay in the shower is great but actual sex, not always so easy in my experience. I’m always too worried about losing my balance to really enjoy myself. Plus it is painful to be jammed up against tile. The main problem with shower sex is it really has to be quick or it gets super uncomfortable really fast. But fooling around in the shower then moving to the bedroom for the main event is really hot.

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