Isn’t Being a Good Kisser Good Enough?

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About John Simpson,

John is a middle-aged family man from Providence. If you learn from your mistakes, he’s brilliant. His column runs regularly on


  1. Henry Vandenburgh says:

    Comment of the first issue: At my advanced age, I haven’t noticed that women who are good kissers are bad lovers– they usually go together. I have noticed in a few cases that wonderful kissers are bad at fellatio. Who knows why?

    Comment on the last issue: The ex-husband on the other hand may be practicing good emotional boundaries. If the letter writer had the affair, he may not want to endorse it, even after the marriage is over. It may be too emotional painful for him too.

  2. wellokaythen says:

    On kissing and sex: I would say if the kissing doesn’t feel good then the sex will probably not be very enjoyable, but the opposite is not necessarily true. Someone could be a great kisser to you but is not all that interested or capable of having sex as often as you do. He or she may be completely unwilling to indulge in your fantasies but could still be a good kisser.

    On the neighbor: It seems rude to the party hosts to use the party as an opportunity to settle a score. I presume the party host would prefer that the guests do their best to enjoy themselves and not argue. The hosts don’t mean this party as an intervention.

    On the ex and the boyfriend: It would be great if the ex-husband could get along with the new boyfriend, but bear in mind that, from what I can tell, you left your then-husband for this man. I’m not a parent, but I would say that in a way when it comes to the children’s lives, the dad outranks the boyfriend. The ex will need to make peace with his ex-wife having a new man, but that doesn’t mean the ex-wfe gets to have everything just the way she wants it.

  3. R GHASITHA says:

    My husband loves looking at pictures of naked woman and porn is that normal or is there something I should be concerned about

  4. Tracy Britton says:

    Dear Exasperated,

    you are in dreamland if you believe you husband would/should be “friends” with your boyfriend, the guy you had an affair with and ended your marriage for.
    I think you must be quite narcissistic and stupid and he deserves much much better than you.
    What a bitch.


  1. [...] Dear John: How come good kissers are bad in bed? — The Good …Apr 6, 2011 … This confused me because in my experience, the same personality traits that make someone a good kisser, or good at any other type of … [...]

Speak Your Mind