This Comment of the Day is by ballgame on the post “Men, Stop Letting the World Define You“.
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Manuel, I agree with what I suspect was the liberatory intent behind what you’ve written here. I’m opposed to most manifestations of ‘the man box.’ But this advice:
At the end of the day it does not matter what society thinks of you.
… only works if you aspire to be a hermit. For everyone else — people who want be loved (which is most people), people who want to be employed, people who want to have a thriving business (with, you know, clients and customers and stuff) — it ABSOLUTELY matters what society thinks of you.
In fact, I think this constant ‘just stop caring what other people think of you’ advice that I’ve seen dished out to (usually) men who complain about this or that oppressive aspect of manhood is, itself, a toxic part of the man box. It’s perfectly human to care about what other people think of you, and if you run afoul of society’s toxic definitions of your gender, the problem is society, not you. Nevertheless, in many instances you’d be a complete fool to try to ignore how society perceives you. You can’t just snap your fingers and ‘stop caring’ about what society thinks if you have aspirations for your life beyond being a hermit or a hobo.
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Photo: Kayla Johnson / flickr