We all fear being criticized, even ostracized, by others. Three questions to help you stay true to yourself in the face of that fear.
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A few days ago my son Ben shared an interesting story from his lunch period that day. He was sitting with his usual group of friends when a female friend approached them and asked if she could join them. Most of the boys didn’t want her to sit with them, but Ben knew she had a troubled home life and didn’t have many friends. He invited her to sit down and risked a bit of rejection by his usual friends. I was proud of him because he acted on his convictions even though he was afraid they would criticize him for it.
But 11-year-olds aren’t the only ones afraid of being criticized. Everywhere I look, I see adults who are holding back because they’re afraid of what others will think. I not only see it in the faces of strangers and friends, I also see it in the mirror.
One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a great American President, Theodore Roosevelt. He embodied the spirit of a fearless man through both his actions and words. This is a great reminder of what it means to stand up for your convictions in the face of criticism:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
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The picture that accompanies this post shows the Theodore Roosevelt that most Americans know: a rough-and-tumble hunter who used his “bully pulpit” to steamroll his way through politics. In some ways, the image represents many of the stereotypes The Good Men Project attempts to address: that a real man is one who hunts big game, holds big positions, and carries a big stick.
However, we must remember that Roosevelt is not only unique among Presidents, he is also a man of a different era. His ideals of manliness may not align with yours, but he still has something to teach us about courage, conviction, and dealing with critics.
Some questions for reflection:
- Are you in the “arena” of life where the action is happening, or are you sitting in the bleachers?
- What was your last significant failure? What did you learn from it? Did you keep going anyway?
- Are you spending yourself in what you would consider a worthy cause? If so, what is it, and what makes it a worthy cause?
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Photo: Flickr/Scott Kraft