A report on getting out of the mundane and moving into happiness.
Recovering Your Innocence, that was the title of a workshop I attended years ago with John Bradshaw, the philosopher and author of Healing the Shame that Binds You and Bradshaw: On the Family, among other great books about family dynamics, self-improvement and well-being.
He took us through a short meditation and I’ll ask you to do the same. Sit tall, take a deep breath, notice your lungs expand and contract. Be aware of the sensations in your body and bring your attention to them. Continue breathing, slow down the breath if you can. Observe as your mind gently begins to slow down. Feel your body in the chair, feel the clothes on your skin, and begin to use the breath as a tool to quiet the mind. Once you feel more relaxed, begin to think about those things you do that make you feel alive. What comes to mind? Hiking in the mountains? Spending time with your spouse and/or children? Traveling to exotic locations? Something will naturally pop into your head. Maybe a few things. Great! Now begin to shift your life and start doing those things and nothing else! A challenge, right? But that’s the direction you want to go if you’re serious about change and creating an amazing life for yourself.
So many of us get into a job, fall into a routine and miss out on all the amazing, fun and exciting things to do in life! I recently read something that Einstein said. “How many people are trapped in their everyday habits: part numb, part frightened, part indifferent? To have a better life we must keep choosing how we’re living.” Now is your time to choose!
This past weekend, I co-lead a group of 40 people on the 3rd annual Ted & Tony’s Yoga Ski/Ride Adventure Retreat to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, our next one is coming up in Mammoth. Tony Horton, creator of P90X and author of 3 books including The Big Picture and I have been leading groups around the world for years. We love bringing people together, showing them around the world and growing our community of people who want the most out of life. This time was no different than many of the other trips we’ve lead, but one experience stood out a bit more.
I was on a chair lift with one of the participants and he began to share the conversation he had with his wife earlier that morning. “Honey,” he told me. “I’m having such a great time. People are fantastic, the yoga is incredible and I just want to tell you I love you so much. I love our children.” He started weeping on the phone, “I’m just so grateful to have you and to have the life we have!” His wife said, “It’s you again!” More tears flowed during the conversation. This guy has been at the same job for 27 years and has been un-enthused about life in general. Something was sparked in him over the weekend.
How often do we stop and express our gratitude? How often do we, as men, open our hearts and become vulnerable. When was the last time you felt innocent and childlike? When was the last time you cried? My new friend wasn’t the only one who wept on the trip. There were many tears. Mostly tears of letting go of the past and tears of joy for the moment and the future. There were tears of realizing that everything is going to be okay. We’re not alone in this life and there are other people out there that are living life to the fullest. There are people who are thriving, happy, healthy and fit. Find them and start making friends!
The next part of Bradshaw’s meditation was just that. And I ask you now, sit up again, take another deep breath and let out a big sigh! Ahhhh. Your breath is your tool to slow your mind, relax your body and become present. Once you feel a bit more relaxed, think about those people in your life that make you feel alive… Begin spending time with those people and no one else! I know, that’s a big challenge, especially for those of us who have family tension or conflict at work. The idea, in the beginning, is to become aware of who makes you thrive. Who inspires you and who lifts you up! Studies show that if your sibling is obese, you’re 40-50% more likely to become obese. Don’t let the negative rub off on you. The easiest way to do that is to start creating your fabulous 5. If it’s true that you’re the average of the 5 closest people in your life, take a good look and see if that’s who you’d like to surround yourself with. Like Einstein says, begin choosing a better life now and everyday!
Photo Credit: facebook.com/TeddyMcDonald