Jackson Bliss, the New Good Men Project’s Relationships, Love and Sex Editor, wants to read your stories
—-
In most meaningful relationships, love is the power plant of the soul. And when love disappears (or if it was never there), most relationships die. Unless both parties are cool (and remain cool) just getting down, great sex won’t save a relationship forever. Emotionally unattached sex is like a sprint: it’s really fun to go that fast, but it’s impossible to keep running at that speed forever. Your mind knows it. Your body knows it. It’s just a matter of time before you stop to catch your breath. Love, on the other hand, is like a half marathon. There’s a lot of training that goes into it. Love takes time, patience, self-honesty, courage and development to become a strong runner, and most of your friends and family will think you’re fucking insane for running in the rain or waking up at five in the morning to go for a jog before the mercury rises. Sometimes, they’re right too. But deep inside, you don’t care when you’re in love.
The reality is that sex alone just doesn’t have the endurance that love does, which is why people who are only together to get laid don’t stay together nearly as long. Sex, even great sex, can’t compensate for a loveless or empty relationship. And while love can be ephemeral too, and while certainly not unique to human beings (animals, for example, display identical acts of love, altruism, companionship and loyalty), love is still the stuff of our basic cosmic divinity. My vision, therefore, for this section is creating a place where love plays a central role in the exploration of human relationships + sex.
As the new Relationships, Love + Sex editor of the Good Men Project, I’m looking for a few talented writers ready to change the world. I want stories and short articles about what it means to be in love, about the changing rules of dating, the evolution of masculinity and its effect on gender roles and relationships in general, the important question of consent (both in early dating, developed relationships and in marriage), the question of sexual identification and the articulation of male desire. I want articles that bravely explore the new issues confronting men in the 21st century, that give readers fresh insights into the redemption, snags and the obstacles of being in love. I’m looking for articles that analyze the pitfalls, mazes and joys of great sex, the changing dynamic of male sexuality and male emotion. Among other things, I’m looking for writers to explore topics such as:
1. The intersection between love and desire, love and sex, and love and self-love.
2. The difference between selfishness, sabotage, and self-loathing (in men, in their partners) from love, compassion and success.
3. The question of a successful relationship (whatever that means) and how that definition has changed over time? How has the definition of a good male lover, a good boyfriend, and a good husband evolved over time? What does that evolution tell us about our zeitgeist and what space does it give men to be more dynamic?
4. The advantages and disadvantages of purely sexual relationships and possible deconstructions of the sex-obsessed male stereotype. Are men asking for more emotionally from their partners than before? What are some reasons for that and what do these changes mean culturally and historically?
5. The evolution of masculinity and how it has changed the way that men approach relationships and sex. How do men negotiate and communicate their sexual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs in a relationship? How do they listen to those needs in their partners?
6. The possible ways in which metrosexuality has changed the cultural landscape for men, in terms of giving them more space for self-expression, emotions, appetite for beauty and vulnerability. These are just are a few of the many questions this section will tackle in the coming weeks and months, with love very much at the helm and the heart of this inquiry.
Each new article in this section will be part of a greater dialog about male sexuality, sexual identity, relationships of all kinds and most importantly, love. So, talented and brilliant writers, send me your strongest, most polished writing here!
Let’s get into this . . .
—-
Image credit: provided by the author
I feel beaten up reading that exchange. I did not hear the requests as hetero only. I did hear from men only…for male POV…yet wow …..that felt like a whole lot of energy…to pick a fight. Filters. Prism. Call it as you will..yet that was intense projection. Is this the norm between straight men and self described “asexual” men? As a woman I found this very aggressive ….my heart picked up and my throat is dry …
I will share this request with male writers. Namaste.
Jackson – In your editorializing above, it sure does sound like your old school hetero-normativity is showing. Am I reading some cognitive and editorial bias into your words that you’re not intending? Are you just as interested in relationships that are not hetero-normative and yet are loving and intimate? Are you interested in (say) relationships between folks who identify as asexual? Is queer sex/love part of what you’re calling for in submissions? Maybe your “call for submissions” shouldn’t start off with you defining the space, so much as letting the space define itself. Just a thought for you to consider.… Read more »
Paul, Honestly, I have no idea where you’re getting that interpretation, but you’re entitled to it. Most of what I wrote is clearly universal and has no implied sexual orientation implied. Let’s review some of the major points in my call for submissions: One of the first things I wrote is this: “My vision, therefore, for this section is creating a place where love plays a central role in the exploration of human relationships + sex.” Are you suggesting that love is somehow heternormative? Next, I write that I’m especially interested in articles that “explore the intersection between love and… Read more »
Paul,
Another thing, I published an article a week ago about an open marriage, which I think clearly demonstrates my interest in narratives that are outside of the heteronormative box.
Peace,
-j1b
Hi Jackson –
I’m glad I asked the question(s), and was glad to hear your very explicit answers. I think I might have something to toss in your direction.
Best,
Paul
Paul,
Please do. I’d welcome that. Good luck.
Peace,
-j1b
I have SO MUCH to say on this subject, these subjects….
N.
Hmm… I might have to take you up on this… though the first thing that pops into my mind is “How to keep your relationship alive through rotating 12 hour shifts and 2 small children.” Yeah… when you see your wife physically for 4 hours or so a day tops and your only meaningful interaction is through email things can be tough. Welcome to modern life! Or is it?
Hi Jackson
Welcome!
You vision is admirable.
✺ ” My vision, therefore, for
this section is creating a place where love plays a central role in the exploration of human relationships + sex.”✺
I look forward to reading your articles
Iben,
Thanks so much. I appreciate that. Be well.
Peace, Blessings,
-j1b