While pop culture makes men look like clueless, overweight losers, Howard Falco explains how to defy such low expectations and find personal happiness and love in the process
—-
There is nothing more surprising or pleasing than to shatter expectations. When it comes to the reputation of today’s man, the bar has been set very low. Over the last decade men have been portrayed in pop culture as spineless, overweight, and egotistical or just brain dead fools. From Homer Simpson and Peter from Family Guy to virtually every Will Ferrell movie ever made. From Phil on Modern Family to virtually every Adam Sandler movie.
What effect does this have on a man who is serious about falling in love and finding an amazing woman? How does this affect a man’s desire to be attractive, desired and interesting? How are men with at least half a brain and a quarter of self-respect affected? The answer is, it gives them every opportunity to stand out, look great, and make powerful impressions.
This is not about bullshitting one’s partner, or putting on an act or pretending to be someone you are not. It’s not about flashing money or impressing someone with your car. And it’s not about getting laid either. You can stop reading right now if that’s what you’re looking for. This is about developing lasting and meaningful connections with people. It’s about creating a reputation as a real person who is authentic, trustworthy and classy. It’s about being old school in a good way and yet edgy and current at the same time.
Here are five things that will make women remember you, qualities that will get them excited about seeing you and hearing from you. These are versions of yourself you can step into right away to create an energy and aura that is surprising, meaningful and allows deep connections with others.
1. Be present
In this ADD, distracted, phone-obsessed world, the man who can pay attention, stay focused and interested for longer than five minutes without looking away, shifting his gaze or looking down and texting someone back immediately, is instantly ahead of the game. The key to being present is to learn to be comfortable enough with yourself that you’re not consumed with your insecurities and distractions. This leaves you with the presence of mind to ask questions, show interest and be unafraid to keep the focus on the person you’re talking with.
2. Evolved chivalry is always in
Immediately offer to pay, open a door, offer a hand up a step, and present a kind compliment. I don’t care that today’s norm of going “Dutch” is what’s in. Setting yourself apart by showing some class is always a standout move. It doesn’t mean you have to do this every time but it’s a nice way to present yourself. Compliments and the lost art of being a gentleman are always a positive no matter how progressive your date is.
3. Dress somewhat current
This is an easy layup for the guy who takes the time to stay up on what’s in style today. Men are notorious for being stuck in the past with what they wear. This doesn’t mean you have to spend a ton of money on clothes, but just demonstrating enough effort to stay within the latest fashion year or two should do the trick as far as being noticed and appreciated for showing some care in how you look.
4. Demonstrate a positive, optimistic and uplifting attitude
There is nothing more attractive than an energetic positive personality and there is nothing more unattractive than a negative, pessimistic, and cynical attitude. Be very aware of what comes out of your mouth. Swear words might have been cool in high school but when used too much at the age of 35, they can be a turn off. Watch your judgments of other people and your energy in general. Positivity stands out and leaves an energetic impression that is craved. It is the real secret to magnetic attraction.
5. Have the faith to be authentic and vulnerable
People who are authentic can immediately have a positive impact because it stands out as rare. So many people in today’s world are so insecure that it has made inauthenticity an epidemic. Be okay with who you are. People who are vulnerable, honest and open are attractive because it reveals that they are comfortable in their own skin.
And if the person you are with doesn’t like or appreciate these traits, that means they may not be able to exhibit these qualities themselves. Is this who you want to be with?
Let those who can’t appreciate your positive traits fade away so they’ll make room for the ones who can appreciate a man who sets himself apart in today’s world. Demonstrate your self-honor and self-worth that is infused with the qualities above and it’s bound to get you noticed and put you in a class above the rest.
—-
image credit: Flickr/puuikibeach
I am not trying to find a relationship or anything but I do NEED respect for men. I personally feel disrespected and extremely angry whenever those men are shown as Homer and I are both men. Being the only man in my house most of the time and in a country where ALL programming except sports is directed at women, I feel every time an american tv show or movie(which are the only ones I can watch) insults men they are insulting me.
Terrific advice! Simply the best Howard. The objective (for me at least) is to avoid ‘following the crowd.’ Men should not be afraid to march to the beat of a different drummer or to take the road less traveled. I tell young men daily: ‘Don’t listen to all this psycho babble! It’s just noise.” While I am a Black man, it really bothers me how White men are portrayed in pop culture. It’s really pathetic. The worst part of it all is that it is other men behind the portrayals! The executives, producers, etc…But, it should really not come as… Read more »