A new study suggests guys’ night may yield real benefits in emotional maturity for increasingly-isolated middle-aged men.
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Honey, I’m meeting some of the guys after work at the bar. We’re going to nurture our emotionally-supportive relationships and help one another balance our mental health. Also, $2 draft night.
A study of middle-aged men in Scotland has uncovered some interesting evidence about the role of the pub in socialization. It’s no surprise that friendships are fostered over pints and darts, but you may be surprised to learn what else develops.
The researchers began with a stated mission to “describe the context of men’s drinking in midlife and explore how alcohol is associated with the construction of masculinities.” They conducted 15 focus groups of men between the ages of 28 and 52 years. The bottom line was that men regarded the pub as one of the only settings in which they could provide emotional support to one another, to let their guard down and explore their feelings.
[M]iddle aged men… find their emotional platform to be a shrinking raft in an ocean of responsibilities.
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The implication is that younger men find themselves in social situations more often and are thus more comfortable sharing meaningful thoughts and having supportive discussions in social environments. But middle aged men, who are exposed to fewer and fewer social settings in middle age due to factors including careers and family life, find their emotional platform to be a shrinking raft in an ocean of responsibilities. These men need an environment they consider to be safe to feel confident enough to help each other socially.
The study did consider the role of alcohol in lowering inhibitions as a factor in discussing sensitive subjects, and it did warn of the dangers of too much pub time. But from a scientific perspective, middle-aged men (and the women who love them) who are concerned about fostering their supportive side and staying in touch with their emotions should think twice before they blow off a guys’ night out.
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Photo: Sixstring563/Flickr
I am at an impass. I turn 45 in May. I have very few real friends with whom I spend any quality time. The primary reason for this is the fact that I don’t go out. Ever. I’m not a teetotaler, but I haven’t had more than a pint at a time in years. And those are very few and months between. My brother was an alcoholic, so my view is skewed. It seems counter-intuitive to me to think of drinking time as bonding time. But I see that my guy co-workers who go out for a regular drunk have… Read more »
I don’t know if it’s related, but going from memory there’s been an increase in suicides among men in rural Ireland. I’ve heard one hypothesis which suggested that the reduction in the legal drink driving limit (which wasn’t exactly at unsafe levels beforehand) has made it harder for people to get access to one of their few social venues.
If the above is true, then the idea of the pub as a space for men to talk about their feelings would also compound the effect reduced pub attendance would have on suicide rates. Might dig into that a bit more.