Attempting to become a better person, I’ve introduced several new practices into my life; the most impactful of them all thus far has been being a mentor.
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With less than two years under my belt as a mentor, I’ m definitely not the author who wrote the book on effective mentorship. However, I am the author that’s writing the book as I go along, sharing knowledge, successes and failures in real-time with hopes of recruiting other black men to become mentors in their community.
I admit I’m one of the most impatient men you’ll come across; I get mad at five minute rice for not cooking in three and I’m not a fan of fast food because it’s too slow. I picked up this trait from my father, although I would’ve thought that the countless times he left me sitting on my front steps waiting for him to come by on his weekend to visit would have instilled all the patience in the world.
Attempting to become a better person, I’ve introduced several new practices into my life; the most impactful of them all thus far has been being a mentor. Voluntarily taking on that responsibility, I’m reminded daily that a young person is looking at me beyond my title as CEO, that their expectations of me must be exceeded so that they, in turn, will be inspired.
Being a role model isn’t easy; it’s a constant struggle against yourself to be better than you were the day before, while being reminded that you’re only human and you’ll never be perfect. As an impatient perfectionist – a drummer – I initially thought it easier to play Polyrhythms with my eyes closed while balancing a watermelon on my pinky toe, than accept the idea that I was going to make mistakes in front of someone who holds a high opinion of me. I can deal with being a disappointment to myself – even a failure – but to potentially disappoint a youngster who aspires to be like you – or even better than you – was just something I couldn’t risk – and that probably had something to do with me not wanting to be like my father and leaving them with an altered perception of who I am.
My fears were put to rest once I stopped talking and started listening. My mentee, Rashaun Williams, who at times could be considered my mentor, let me know he wasn’t looking for – or expecting – perfection; just genuine brotherhood and guidance. Once I realized I could just be myself and let my guard down, our relationship grew stronger – almost overnight it seems.
Now, we don’t just talk about saving the world and building enterprises, but we often share the things in our lives we wish we could’ve done better and the things we regret doing completely. We tell stories of yesterday and how they impact our today and influence or tomorrow. We help each other accomplish our goals and more importantly, we help each other understand that we’ll never be perfect people.
While traditional mentoring programs most times require credentials, background checks, protocols and procedures to be followed – many times to the exclusion of black and brown men – nothing is more freely accessible than the opportunity to engage someone in your community who could benefit from your knowledge and experiences.
If you’re waiting to become the perfect person before mentoring a young person in your neighborhood or city, take it from me and just jump in the deep end, you’ll learn how to swim out of instinct and before you know it, you’ll be floating above the surface, showing others how to navigate the waters.
A friendly reminder to all, men who mentor are not perfect, they’re just passionately pursing a perfect world; so join them and help ease the load.
Happy National Mentoring Month! Celebrate by becoming a mentor today!
Thanks for reading. Until next time, I’m Flood the Drummer® & I’m Drumming for JUSTICE!
Source: TBO Inc®
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I think your imperfection makes you a better mentor. Perfection isn’t honest, mentors need to be honest. Perfection is unattainable, mentors need to promote the attainable. Sorry if this sounds too cliched.