A Letter to Myself: Turning 25 and Perfecting the Pursuit

birthdaycake3

Adam Ornelas takes stock of his first quarter century. Despite setbacks in love and work, what he finds is inspiration to be the best man he can be. 

 

Who I am at 25.

February 8th, 2014 is my 25th birthday.

Yeah, I’ve walked this earth a quarter of a century. I’m writing this as a letter to myself and for others finding themselves coming of the same age and perhaps with similar lessons learned, experiences had, and hopes for the future.

At times it feels like I’ve lived an eternity, and other times I am reminded at how far have yet to go. Life seems to be moving in slow motion and hyper speed at the same time. There are days where I feel completely in control of my life, and days when I don’t know which way is up. The “quarter-life crisis” is upon me.

Gone are the all-nighters that turned into early mornings, and all the spontaneous shenanigans conjured by late night libations. Hangovers are haunting and strike me with an unforgiving ferocity. My priorities have shifted and my perspective is constantly being stretched, twisted, and redefined through experiences I have and the people I meet.

You can’t appreciate winning until you’ve experienced losing. The struggles have sharpened my sense of self and strengthened my resilience.

I’ve learned that struggle can definitely be real. If you haven’t experienced it yet, you will – in your own way and with your own obstacles. The rationing of paychecks, the nearly unbearable hit to the ego of sending in resume after resume only to get rejected, or even worse – no reply at all. There are times that $50.00 can feel like $500.00 and has to be stretched to make every penny count. Then there’s the occasional self-inflicted psych outs where you become riddled with doubt and question every recent decision you’ve made and are currently making.

“Am I doing the right thing?”

“Am I where I’m supposed to be?”

“How come I can’t seem to win?”

I’ve had my ups and downs. My highs and my lows. I’ve had a great paying job, and been let go of in what seemed like a blink of an eye. But I am a firm believer that you can’t appreciate winning until you’ve experienced losing. The struggles have sharpened my sense of self and strengthened my resilience.

I’ve been lucky enough to fall in love. It was one of the greatest things to happen to me. It helped me understand what I bring to a relationship and what I need from my significant other. It showed me how empowered a man can feel with the right woman by his side, as a “teammate”. It made me want to be better. And even though that relationship is no more, the experience made me better, aware that something like that can exist, and appreciate the next relationship.

I’ve been blessed with amazing people around me, who support me, and teach me so much just by them being themselves. My friends come from different backgrounds, creeds, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and everything in between. I wouldn’t have it any other way. My family has stood behind me and backed me with love and support through thick and thin. I lucked out.

As I’ve matured, there are personality traits I’ve been able to tweak, strengthen, and even shed when necessary. But the one that has stayed strong throughout my life is my passionate curiosity. It’s almost childlike. I am intrigued by just about everything (except algebra) and have an unquenchable thirst to know more. I hope in my coming years, no matter what happens to me, good or bad, I never lose it.

◊♦◊

So at 25, it’s become evident that even though I have experienced a lot and learned more, I’ve only just begun. There’s no time to dwell on what could’ve been, what I don’t have, or where that I may not be where I’d like to be professionally. Call it cliché, but everything happens for a reason. The lowest lows can be the best lessons; lessons needed for later use.

Do what you can with what you have and keep your vision fixated on your goals.

I don’t believe in the pursuit of perfection. Perfection is unattainable. Instead, I am working on “perfecting the pursuit”; weaving the knowledge from lessons learned into my everyday life and working on becoming the best man I can be.

Photo: Flickr/Shermee

 

Like the Good Men Project on Facebook!

Like_us_on_facebook

If you like this article, please share using the buttons below. And thanks!

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About Adam Ornelas

Adam attended the University of New Mexico where he studied Political Science and Mass Communication. He considers himself a “Jack of all trades, master of some.” An adventure addict and culture connoisseur who's always seeking to meet new people and experience new things, Adam is also passionate about brand building, marketing strategy, and social media outreach. He believes relationships make the world go ‘round & loves connecting with people who pursue their passions and welcome new ideas. He is driven by the love of competition and the desire to win at whatever he is doing. He is a craft beer aficionado, Game of Thrones enthusiast, fitness nut, and sports fan. He lives in Austin, TX where he works as a digital marketing manager and social media strategist for internet companies.

Comments

  1. Beautifully written, Adam! As a man two years into my second quarter, I can tell you that your perspective is healthy and strong. Perfection of the Pursuit is brilliant – I call it being “Work in Progress” which never ends. I know 80 yr. old people with your same perspective.

    I caution men I work with to beware of “Self Help Hell”…which is the relentless pursuit of finding a miracle solution to their problems or unhappiness.

    There is no miracle I’ve found except for the “miracle” that inspired action brings. Thinking is healthy and necessary. But without inspired action and the failures, lessons, and celebrations that come with it, we can get trapped in the hell of good intentions.

    I applaud you and your journey. Well done. Glad to know you!

    Let’s talk sometime about “brand building and marketing strategy”.

    Steve

  2. Adam,

    Well composed. You strike a chord that resonates on many levels with a fellow 25 year old. I too have experienced the highs and lows – love, professionally, emotionally, cognitively, etc. Glad you have been able to surround yourself with people that stimulate your existence and you there’s as well. I am thankful to have learned the value of positive relationships as well. In an age where the job market is saturated (I have failed many times here too), all the women seem to be taken and the expectation is for us to become established, it is all to easy to become overwhelmed the pressures that are placed upon us and that we place upon ourselves. I admire your perspective and resolve to “perfect the pursuit.” Would love to chat more.

    Good on ya,

    Scott

Speak Your Mind