The psychology of love, your parents, and how they intertwine.
___
“Parents, the first word we learn; Love the first feeling we encounter: both intricately carved with one another.”
We are bound to garner affection from our parents .
|
Parents love, love parents; the two words and feelings combine to give us endless problems, endless judgment dilemmas, endless pain. As children we are bound to garner affection from our parents. We try to please them in order to hear praise, praise which makes us feel good about ourselves. Parental praise makes us believe in ourselves. We know our parents believe in us. However, our mind – being complicated – soon mixes the meaning of love, parents and praise.
Maybe due to the memory management of our brains, we soon come to think our parents’ love and praise is knotted up with pleasing them. In order to please them we have to follow their rules, their wishes. We come to follow the path they choose for us in order to please them and get praise. Though it is necessary until our teenage years to follow our parents direction, following them beyond our teens is detrimental to our own health and growth as human beings and in our life.
Why does being independent bring a feeling of well being and happiness and freedom?
|
At the border end of our teens, we start to get the taste of “independence”. The thought of living by our own terms and rules always strikes our inner “naughty demon” and makes us excited at the thought of calling our own shots. Why does being independent bring a feeling of well being and happiness and freedom? I have never been able to justify this. It is easier to be a cub and be fed and protected by the elders rather than fending for one self. Then again, the thrill of the kill is what a cub longs for all his life.
However humans beings evolved to always complicate things and that’s what we have done with parents and love.
|
In all simplicity, the simple truth evades everyone. At a certain stage, the cub has to go out and fend for himself. He may or may not like it, he may or may not want it, but that’s the truth of the universe. However humans beings evolved to always complicate things and that’s what we have done with parents and love.
Not obeying your parents’ wish is deemed as disrespectful.
|
In today’s world for parents are involved in each and every of their child’s decisions, be it as simple as choosing what to wear, as complicated as choosing what to be and pursue in life, or as difficult and important as selecting ones “eternal” partner. Not obeying your parents’ wish is deemed as disrespectful and phrases like “you will repent in the future” or “do whatever you like to them, but we wont be responsible for the consequences” are thrown out to demean the child and his decision making policy. The result is…
Ask yourself what the result is, you are the best judge. Does the result eradicates the child’s confidence in himself and gives the world an undead zombie? As far as undead zombies go, they are of no use for any advancement of a society or community in human terms. But then, none of us really have the heart and courage to disobey our parents and breathe in the wildness, like a lion roaring itself into oblivion and announcing his transformation from a cub to a… well to a lion.
I am proud of whatever it is you did and are doing.
|
If you are a lion reading this, remember I am with you and I believe in whatever decision you make for yourself. The choice may not have gone the way you thought it would, it may not go down the way you thought it will, but remember, I am proud of whatever it is you did and are doing. If you are a cub at the crusp of lion-hood, I have just one word for you,
“Rrrooooaaaar!”
By Aditya Singhal
___
Picture: Flickr/makelessnoise