Seriously, ladies. If I could just take a moment and offer a general apology for all of us men. We’re really sorry this guy has been given opposable thumbs.
Again with Claire Danes and that dress? If you’re going to wear that, you need an appt w Dr. Christian Troy. #Emmys pic.twitter.com/23rAipzeqC
— Micah Johnson (@TV_Agent) September 23, 2013
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Seriously, ladies. If I could just take a moment and offer a general apology for all of us men. We’re really sorry this guy has been given opposable thumbs. We’re sorry he has an iPhone or a laptop or whatever grease-smeared piece of tech had the general misfortune to fall into his hands.
And we want you to know that we think Claire Danes is totally awesome in that dress. We love her. Really. In part because she is so damn different from what Micah here would have us looking at if, god forbid, he had anything to say about the casting on Homeland. We know that women of all different types are magical and wonderful and so absolutely perfect in this world of different types, and shapes and colors and sizes and, just, you know. Wow.
And for the record, Claire Danes has been breaking the hearts of thinking men for years now. She’s like the MEGA babe for the modern man. She’s smart and gorgeous and the kind of gal you could take home to Einstein.
So, really. Thanks for not lumping us all in with Micah. Whoever’s buying his extra creepy bullshit? It ain’t us.
Sincerely,
Men
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“Dear Central Casting for Hollywood Assholes, please send over an intellectually flabby, morally tone deaf, socially jurassic TV Agent to pander his sadly distorted ideas of female beauty in the most demeaning, retro-typical, and wholly vacuous way.
Yes, please send him right away. We’re in a rush. We have to film a scene where enraged female zombies tear his pale parts to pieces and consume them while this guy continues Twittering vacuous comments as he’s being eaten alive.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s cause he thinks his comments have value. Yes, I know! He doesn’t notice the zombies, right? Totally clueless. I know. Genius, right? Fucking genius. You do? Great. Send him over. Okay. Thanks.”
And who appears for our casting call? This guy.
Apparently, Baboons like ‘boobs’, too @SabrinaRFOX40. You’re a good sport! http://t.co/PiqXuYbJ5z via @FTVLive @ZOOmility
— Micah Johnson (@TV_Agent) September 25, 2013
Turns out, he was perfect for the part.
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It’s hilarious that people are shocked that a tweet analyzing red carpet fashion choices would be lame, superficial, and catty. Shocked, SHOCKED I say! How dare we judge the appearance of people who make millions on their appearance…. So, Joan Rivers gets to make the exact same comments because she’s a woman, but men are not supposed to? And, if you understand the reference to Dr. Christian Troy, what does that say about YOU? That comment is a poor representation of all men, but that’s because EVERY man fails to represent all men. That also goes for anyone who tries… Read more »
Dr Christian Troy was a fictional character on Nip/Tuck, first of all. But I think we all know that he’s talking about a plastic surgeon here. I think what is happening here is like when you’re at a party and a bunch of people are doing something shitty to an individual and you say, “I’m so sorry”. It doesn’t mean you think EVERYONE is like that, even if you generalize it out. But it makes a difference to know that not all guys think this way and that there are even guys who are willing to stand up and say,… Read more »
Huh?
I also think the guy’s presumptuous, but really no more than the author here. Please allow me to apologize if and when I need to and exempt me from your “we”.
Ditto.
See comment above. By the way, you guys are free to unapologize as much as you like. I think I’ll coin that as a new past time for a limited segment of the GMP readership. The unapologizers.
Well,to actually be an unapoligizer would require me to rescind an apology I had previously given. The two people involved in this twitter dustup,I don’t know or care to know.I do not concern myself with twitter or facebook,too shallow and gossipy for my taste.I do not have a dog in this show.
The whole idea that this guy can rank Hollywood beauties from the comfort of his smart phone is nothing short of comical. Really. C’mon now. Who made him king of the women judger guys? We need to laugh at the shear absurdity of this entire idea. Just laugh these guys off the block. Emperor. No clothes. Naked and silly. Got it?
Who is this Micah Johnson ,and why exactly does his opinion matter?
@bobbt – thank-you for saying that (I don’t either; but unlike you, I was to embarrassed to admit it).
Who are you bobbt and why exactly does your opinion matter? (Super secret decoder ring clue: Everybody’s opinion matters.)
No it doesn’t! Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one and they usually stink! Really, if you go through life worrying about everyone else’s opinion about you, your looks, whatever, you’ll NEVER find happiness! Oh, just for the record, I’m not apologizing for myself because of what this guy (I really have no idea who he is) said. I’ll be the first to apologize for whatever f**kups I may perpetrate, but rest assured, that twink doesn’t speak for me (or any other men I personally know)
Actually,whenever I’ve been at some kind of ‘Dress up’ type of affair, I find it’s the WOMEN who tend to judge in great detail what other women are wearing! Men basically have 3 categories. 1) WOW (she’s hot)! 2) Meh(this is the most common one). 3) W.T.F.! (think Lady Ga Ga’s meat dress) and that’s about as detailed as it gets.
bobbt, you are being argumentative. Of course everybody’s opinions matter. Uncontested they remain in the public sphere and gain their own credence. By the way, my post is also tongue in cheek. As such, it’s meant to function on multiple levels. Both commenting on public outrage and making fun of it at the same time. By selecting one level and focusing on that, you are just being obtuse.
Oh, stop with the fancy phrases already! (Obtuse?) I don’t have your level of education and it’s not fair! If you want to arm wrestle over it though, I’m game! (There! How’s that for ‘tongue-in-cheek!)
Seriously Mark, whenever I get an E-mail saying “YOUR OPINION MATTERS” it’s usually someone trying to sell me something.(mag. subscriptions or something) Look, I realize I’m nobody and my opinion, well it just really doesn’t matte!
Technically, many people with -ostomy bags have had their anuses sewn shut, so it may not be entirely true to say that everyone has an asshole.
Who made him king of the women judger guys? — And who made you the spokesperson for all men? Seriously, I think it’s time, and past time, for all of us to adopt one of the best practices from the 12 Step groups: Say whatever you want to say, but in the first person singular. In reality, one speaks for or on behalf of anyone else (unless we’re talking about children or animals, perhaps). In reality, no one has the inside track on what men think (or should think), or women, or people of your particular race, creed, religion, or… Read more »
You know what, Paul? The part about the Good Men Project about which I most often despair, is how deadpan ironic humor like “apologizing for all men” goes right over some men’s heads here. Really. Right the fuck over the top. You’d think I’m launching stealth bombers here. Which I’m not.
What I’d say in response, Mark, is that the way things have unfolded over the past 50 years or so, and the way things are seriously disconnected between so many men and so many women, we need to step back and look and the who, what, how, where and why of the whole deal – journalistically and sociologically speaking. A lot of guys have simply walked off the field (MGTOW’s) or are working on their game (PUA) or are simply not sure whether to shit or go blind at all the contradictory demands, opinions, directives etc being dumped on them… Read more »
Joanna, you made some excellent points. He was wrong for attacking Danes. Telling a woman she needs breast implants is very sexist. Hollywood needs to stop attacking women based on their physical appearance.
1. We need Twitter-court to judge each other’s twitter. (Actually, who cares?)
2. Gwyneth Paltrow is soo hot.
Speaking as a woman. He has a point. I’m not saying she should go out and get a boob job but that dress was designed for someone with larger breasts. As a result it doesn’t fit her well and looks a little big. She has a beautiful body, she just chose a dress that is unflattering for someone with her figure.
Having formerly worked in fashion and personal styling in Los Angeles, I totally disagree.
We have a strong precedent of small-chested women wearing deep-v dresses and looking incredible. Most notably Gwyneth Paltrow.
His point isn’t that the dress doesn’t fit well. His point is that she needs breast implants. And even if you think the dress looks bad, you still can’t get behind someone telling a woman to get breast implants. That’s just damaging bullshit.
I think you say that because we assume in our culture that small breasts are to be hidden, as something shameful, rather than shown as much as any other woman’s breasts, so of course a dress like that is designed for large breasts. I personally wouldn’t wear that dress because I prefer to keep certain parts to myself and the privileged few, but as a small chested woman, I’m offended by your comment. Breasts are breasts, and mine will do their evolutionary duty as well an any. Stop buying into our societal shaming of women with small chests.
That last tweet of his is just so legendary. She’s such a good sport for letting a baboon feel her up on TV! I mean, listen, I’m not saying that this commentator should’ve punched the baboon, but the idea that she’s somehow “good” now because she allowed a baboon to grab her breast on TV and didn’t freak out is STUPID and offensive. Also, I love it when men compare themselves to monkeys. That really promotes the idea of the fully-evolved male. If I were a guy, I’d be offended. But I’m not. I’m only offended from a woman’s point… Read more »