Dr. Adam Sheck’s psychotherapy practice is shifting focus to men over 50, but the general trend has been toward men leaving the profession. Is this contributing to men’s growing suicide rates?
Last week the U.S. Center For Disease Control issued a report stating that suicide rates for baby boomers have increased nearly thirty percent from 1999 to 2010.
The biggest increase in suicides is among men in their 50s, rising almost fifty percent to 30 deaths per 100,000.
The demographics for high suicide rates have typically been adolescents and the elderly, so this is an extremely significant finding. The suicide rate for middle-aged men was 27.3 deaths per 100,000, while for women it was 8.1 deaths per 100,000 (women statistically make more attempts at suicide, men have more completed suicides).
What is driving these horrific figures? The lifetime depression rate for men is 8% and climbing. Certainly the current pessimistic world economic situation is a factor. Aging baby boomers are facing uncertain times and challenging finances between the stock market crash of 2008 and the housing market crash.
Unemployment strikes close to one out of every five men, and men over fifty are finding it challenging to find new jobs. These financial uncertainty and fears must be considered a driver.
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From a psychological perspective, the issue is that men seem programmed to shut down under stress and the archetype of the strong, silent, rugged individual takes over.
Yes, of course, not all men behave this way, yet many do. Men are less inclined to seek outside help and emotional support. Men are more inclined to isolated, deny, withdraw and become emotionally numb under stress. Substance abuse is also a contributing factor in a great many suicides.
This dynamic impacts both our physical health as men and our psychological health. Men will “tough it out” and delay seeing physicians time and time again. I would suggest that a major reason that more men die from prostate cancer than women die from breast cancer is because men wait to seek support.
The same is true for men and depression—they wait, and all too often they wait too long. The perception that men would prefer to be lost than to ask for directions, is often also true for depression. Men get lost in the pain of their depression.
As a psychologist over fifty, I find that my clinical focus has shifted to men in the second half of life. When I first began practicing psychotherapy over twenty years ago, most of my clients were female (The statistics show that about 80% of psychotherapy clients are female).
Currently, my practice is about 80% male. Is it because I’m a man and men are more comfortable or relate more readily to a male psychologist? I’m not sure, this is just my experience as one psychologist.
Working so extensively with men in the second half of life, the key issue appears to be the existential one, “What is the meaning of life?” A man who knows his life purpose, his reason for being on the planet, is a man who has something to live for. A man that feels that he contributes something each day is less likely to be a man who will contemplate suicide.
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So what can we do to support these men in such great pain that they consider ending their lives? Believe it or not, the research shows that most male babies are MORE emotionally expressive than female babies. One must assume from this that the socialization into “big boys don’t cry” continues to contribute to shutting men down emotionally. We are still not as evolved as we might think we are. It all starts at home.
In the meantime, we must encourage men to connect with their loved ones, their friends, their tribes. The importance of men connecting with men is truly underappreciated.
Yes, men have feelings, yet we often share them differently than women do, and in a different time frame. More man-to-man emotional contact is needed. More men’s support groups and organizations are needed. More hubs supporting men’s thoughts, feelings and soul like the Good Men Project are needed.
My professional concern is the growing shortage of male psychologists available to support men. The percentage of psychology PhDs awarded to men has fallen from nearly 70 percent in 1975 to less than 30 percent in 2008.
Men connecting with other men in group and individual counseling settings is of incalculable help in coping with the struggles of life. Men are deeply challenged in seeking professional help to begin with. Having fewer men available to listen and counsel them could very well add to this grave dilemma.
I’m one man and I certainly don’t have all of the answers. My purpose in this article is to begin a conversation about how we can help each other to face our lives and live them fully.
What can we, as men, do to help support other men and help prevent further suicides?
Photo: Flickr/Koshyk
Adam, as always you have raised a very sensitive, difficult, and complex issue–in this case male depression. Clearly, there can be many factors contributing to depression. I think it is well to remember that for the post fifty man many ideals and dreams have probably been smashed. In the detritus of loss and disillusion an opportunity can arise. the challenge for me is to gather the hope for the challenge. For me it involves risk taking. The comfort zone of competence and control has to be breached. But you raise the spector of purpose, or as we say in MKP–mission.… Read more »
Hi Adam
Here is an recent interesting article from The Daily Beast about the new suicide epidemic.
Article about the new suicide epidemic :
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2013/05/22/why-suicide-has-become-and-epidemic-and-what-we-can-do-to-help.html
“Among white, middle-aged men, the rate has jumped by more than 50 percent, according to a Newsweek analysis of the public data. If these guys were to create a breakaway territory, it would have the highest suicide rate in the world. “
I’m busy as hell & I’m in a shit mood this month and what follows is thinking out loud…. I’ve already wrote on this site about my feeling “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”… But what if the problems aren’t temporary? I’m of the opinion that ending one’s life when faced with debilitating, painful and undignified illness is a respectable choice. But failure to attain one’s goals may be just as crushing. Today I’m wondering about who we might be to pass judgement on what a middle aged man might find to be unbearable. At GMP the… Read more »
An interesting PS on this subject —-
http://www.newser.com/story/168097/racings-dick-trickle-phoned-in-own-suicide.html
(NEWSER) – Longtime racing driver Dick Trickle not only killed himself yesterday in a North Carolina cemetery at age 71, he matter-of-factly called 911 beforehand to let police know where they would find his body, reports TMZ. The dispatcher initially didn’t realize Trickle was referring to himself until he clarified, “No, I’m the one.” She asked him to wait for help, to no avail. Trickle’s brother in Las Vegas says the retired driver had been in near-constant pain of late, but doctors couldn’t figure out the problem, reports the Las Vegas Review-Journal.
Why aren’t men entering the field? My unit houses 38 adolescent males. In two weeks, I will be the only male counselor. The remaining 13 are obviously female. I can understand that if we don’t have the male applicants, there isn’t much we can do. So why is it that men aren’t going into the field? Counseling doesn’t have a stigma that would lead men to think that “oh that’s a women’s field” so I don’t understand. We also have only one male out of five in out out-patient department. More then half the counselors on our 38 bed residential… Read more »
Great article on a very important topic! As much as I curse the amount of time my husband spends at work and away from our home and family, I was reminded again how critical his presence and character is to the younger co-workers around him at work…he was voted MVP this year at an awards dinner recently….as much as the members of the group poked fun at each other and mocked each other in silly, but oh-so-true, skits, there was also real bonding and warmth between them all…as stressful and challenging as their professional lives are, everyone tried to help… Read more »
When I shifted my counseling to retirement life planning, mostly women came to my workshops. At the time, I considered working only with women in transition, but believed men need this help also. I find the transition into retirement is often more difficult as men grapple with the loss of identity as the professional, breadwinner and ‘man of the house.’ In a society where being productivity fits the male identity, that shift can be devastating. In addition, the belief that ‘taking it easy’ is the ultimate goal in retirement can blindside new retirees. They think something is wrong with them… Read more »
May I ask the professionals here:
Do the use of drugs/ psychotropic drugs/ antidepressants play a role in this increase in suicides?
http://www.madinamerica.com/2011/11/anatomy-of-an-epidemic/
Iben, Always hard to access cause and effect in this kind of circular causality. I would say that many insurance companies prefer psychotropic medication to long-term psychotherapy for treatment of depression because it is better for their bottom line. Most outcome studies don’t go beyond six months for medication and we know that the best predictor of depression in the future is a previous episode of depression. Medication works miracles when it does and opens a door for people to truly explore their issues and find some healing. Do meds contribute to suicide? Sometimes, but not nearly as much as… Read more »
Thank you, Adam, for your concern about this major problem. I’m not sure if men are more likely to benefit from male therapists, but I would imagine a male therapist might understand certain things about men’s experiences that even the most enlightened and sensitive woman might not. Unfortunately, I think part of the problem here, as it is across the board, is that men’s (and boys’) problems are still not nearly as much on the national radar as the problems of women (and girls). Your statistics about the rise in suicide rates for middle-aged men is distressing, and the fact… Read more »
It wasn’t until women started experiencing an increase in heart disease and associated conditions that the American Heart Association started a campaign, “
“Wear Red For Women In February To Support Women’s Heart Disease”
Where it’s commonly known to be the number one killer of men. As one who struggles with the disease, I wrote to them and asked why not men. Their response was that the education is for everyone, men and women … it was a bull shit answer.
Mark, You make some good points. I can’t say definitively that men are more likely to be open to psychotherapy with another man, I only know anecdotally what my patients and colleagues have stated. Visibility is definitely a factor though. The statistics a few years ago showed that prostrate cancer kills more men than breast cancer kills women, yet it’s only becoming more publicized now. I imagine a big part of the higher death rate is because men deny the issue and don’t seek help. The same is true with depression and mental illness sadly. We can only make the… Read more »
Great job Adam. As a person committed to mental health for men, I know the challenges it presents. We are encouraged to be everything but mentally and emotionally healthy. A few suggestions would be reading up on and dealing with our shame (Brene brown comes to mind) picking up and ingesting bell hooks (we real cool and The Will to Change) and of course books on self esteem (anything by Nathaniel Branden) and finally The Road less Traveled. We can become healthy but only if we make being healthy a priority.
Anthony
Anthony,
Thanks so much for spreading the word and sharing those excellent books. I might have stated this in an earlier comment, that we prioritize our self-care based upon dollars, as does our government and that needs to change. In the long run, it is penny-wise and pound foolish to do some.
Adam Sheck
First, thanks for this article and especially to those thoughtful participants whose responses provided such provicative discourse. As a therapist who specializes in psychotic illness, I am no stranger to concerns about suicide. My preferred population has the highest rates of completed suicide. As a first wave baby boomer, I am deeply troubled by this news. I have long believed that there is insufficient attention to the emotional needs of men by society, by women, by psychology and yes, most especialky by men themselves. In response to this posting, i am planning yo keep in better touch with and make… Read more »
Dr. O’Neill,
I appreciate your support as well as your contribution to the field. As psychotherapists, we are in the trenches supporting those in need. My hope is that by writing, blogging and creating websites and affordable programs for those who can’t afford psychotherapy, we can help even more people.
Adam Sheck
Adam, Good article. You cover a lot of ground in a short essay. Well done. I would add a few thoughts on how to prevent suicide. I think we have to recognize that the human race is going through a major transition. A 6,000 year old system is dying and something new is being born. David Korten calls it the end of Empire and the re-emergence of Earth Communities. Men are the canaries in the coal mine telling us all that the old system is broken. We won’t prevent suicides by focusing solely on individual men. We need to heal… Read more »
Jed
You got a new follower on Twitter by this one!
Jed,
As always, I admire and respect your more expansive POV on this. It is a context that is valuable and I so appreciate it and the work you do with men. You have certainly been one of my inspirations, as have the organizations like MKP that are supporting men in these huge world transitions and paradigm shifts.
Thank you SO much,
Adam Sheck
Dr Adam, In your professional opinion, would you consider this increase in suicides to be a crisis? Let’s face it, the economy isn’t getting any better. Though the unemployment rate has gone down, the numbers don’t include those who have exhausted their unemployment benefits, who are still unemployed and those many who are greatly under-employed. The problem continues to exist. If you don’t see it as a crisis, why not? If you do see it as a crisis, why isn’t there more being done about it. New stats or not, we all know that this has been a problem for… Read more »
Tom, I believe that the prevalence of depression in men IS a crisis and that the economy and other psychosocial factors exacerbates the depression and results in self-destructive behavior. Why isn’t more being done? I think the last time the government tried to do anything to increase funding for mental health was back in the Clinton administration when Tipper Gore made an issue of it. I’m not here to be political but wars and bailing out the financial industry seem to be higher priorities as best I can tell. As individuals we can only help those we can help and… Read more »
(I am not sure if this was lost?)
Some more info about the new boomers suicide trend :
http://www.thestar.com/news/insight/2013/02/08/baby_boomers_and_suicide_the_surprising_trend.html
Iben …, that was an amazing story and very much on target.
Iben,
Thanks for sharing such an extensive and personal article.
Adam Sheck
Bingo…hit it right on the head. I contemplate suicide daily. It calls to me. 62 year old male. I think there should be suicide parlors to make it easier. Kurt Vonnegut style. We’re going to die anyway. There’s no avoiding it. Wouldn’t it be better to die on my own terms than in a nursing home drooling into my shirt while nurse Cratchet hovers around? Just my opinion. We’ll see…
Fred,
Someone making a rational decision (whatever that might mean) to end their life is significantly different than someone who is clinically depressed and making a decision based upon emotional pain that CAN be treated and improved upon. This is a very important distinction to make.
Adam Sheck
Powerful. Well done. I am proud that you’re tackling this tough issue – and I will share. And as for finding men’s support groups – how powerful that Colin Berry’s post also landed today. Wow. If you’re a man looking for a men’s group – click on my name above to connect to the ManKind Project.
Boysen,
Thanks, I appreciate you spreading the word. I am noticing that significantly fewer members of my email lists are opening up links to this piece as well as fewer on Facebook are sharing. The truth isn’t as pretty or as popular as positive affirmations (though people share and share), yet it must be faced.
And yes, it is pretty synchronistic about Colin’s piece as well. I sent an email to the MKP-LA list sharing my link and Colin’s as they truly are vital to men and those who support us.
Thanks for your continuing support,
Adam
50 something men killing themselves. I think your accurate where you’ve identified issues that these men are confronted with and what’s contributing to their despair. The problem is that the 50 something men have clearly set their way, established themselves in the world that they are most familiar and comfortable. You stated “Working so extensively with men in the second half of life, the key issue appears to be the existential one, “What is the meaning of life?” A man who knows his life purpose, his reason for being on the planet, is a man who has something to live… Read more »
Tom,
Much of what you say makes sense. The solution isn’t obvious, and certainly part of it is to find a way to make support more affordable. That’s part of why I do some pro bono work in my community and why I’ve created my different websites to support men (and women) in group and online programs that are more affordable. There are also great, very affordable support programs such as the Mankind Project (see Boysen Hodgson’s post below).
Thanks so much for your thoughts on this,
Adam Sheck
I wanted to point out (which I didn’t really emphasize in the article) is that while there are many psychosocial stressors affecting men, it is the DEPRESSION which drives the suicide. Those who aren’t experiencing clinical depression may have the thought or the impulse to end their lives, yet they won’t act out on it. A big part of the solution is to diagnosis and treat depression, which is challenging in men, as it may present differently than in women and again, most men will not seek treatment.
Adam Sheck
My professional concern is the growing shortage of male psychologists available to support men. The percentage of psychology PhDs awarded to men has fallen from nearly 70 percent in 1975 to less than 30 percent in 2008.
good piece.
adam why did the male numbers fall? and how has it affected the salary and the status of the profession, if it has?
(i meant to ask prof h these questions also, about psych nursing changing from being male to a female dominated )
James,
I don’t have access to any research on it, but I know about 20 years ago the New York Times had an article stating that as the income of a psychotherapist dropped, so did the percentage of men in the field, so I imagine that is still a large part of it.
Adam
The same is true for men and depression—they wait, and all too often they wait too long. The perception that men would prefer to be lost than to ask for directions, is often also true for depression. Men get lost in the pain of their depression. I wonder. To borrow your example, is it that men prefer to be lost or is it because they can’t afford to stop and ask for directions so to speak. Bear in mind its not a perfect analogy because you may be thinking, “How can he not afford to stop for directions? It would… Read more »
Danny,
You raise an interesting point. My experience is that men (and people in general) will prioritize self-care (including counseling) based upon price. I totally agree that we must stand together.
Aho,
Adam Sheck
Hi Archy
A warm hug from me
🙂
Thank-you <3
Denounce people who laugh at suicide victims, talk about it more. Let people know help is out there. I have noticed my friends are more open to talking to me about depression as I’ve had depression + severe social anxiety disorder and been through quite a bit of therapy to know how to help to a certain degree. Encouraging them to cast aside bullshit notions of macho behaviour and to work at helping your mind is badly needed. Men need to stand up and admit they cry. I cry at funerals, I cry at heart break, I cry over loneliness,… Read more »
I think that’s some good advice. I think that discovering and ADMITTING that your sensitive side is your power is an incredibly masculine thing to do…even “macho”. Part of my definition of a masculine/macho guy is one who finally figures out that his secret power is what Archy discovered. Being in the 50-something crowd myself and seeing what Adam is talking about, a guy can sure use a self-esteem boost. I find one easy way is to giving of ourselves – using our masculine sensitive power that can rock the world of everyone from your kids to the gas station… Read more »
I notice some of my male friends shy away from deep n meaningful convos, but I welcome those convos. I have learned so much about humanity from the pain n troubles of others that it’s actually made me feel more human instead of an outcast like I felt after the bullying in highschool. Sensitivity is a huge power and your relationships do get better with it as long as you also learn how to PROTECT that sensitivity. You can get used for it, some people will abuse that privilege of your sensitive side so it takes time to work out… Read more »
Archy,
Thanks so much for sharing your truth in this painful issue. Depression is self-sustaining, we turn within, withdraw and shutdown, so not only is it important for us to know this about ourselves, ALSO for our brothers, so that we can reach out and help pull them out of the morass. That’s a big part of why I started the http://www.menafterfifty.com website, to open up some support.
Take care,
Adam Sheck
Great job with the site 😀
Luv ya, Archy! Glad you are here and so brave to just say that!
Hugs! (You remind me so much of my karate sparring partner, E., who is huge but so vulnerable and so emotional….and he just lets it all out on FB!)
Thank-you <3
Keeping it inside is toxic, just like we need to urinate to remove toxins we need to let out negative energy and get rid of it.