James Maynard believes good men ought to be good feminists.
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This past weekend I attended the International Women’s Day activities in Montreal. I was happy to be there supporting the women in my life and all women in the struggle for equality but discouraged by the small turnout of men. While there were several men in attendance, it was disheartening to see such a miniscule attendance of men at such an important event. Equal rights for women is an important issue that affects everyone, women, men and children, yet it seems that some men still see it as a non-issue or something that doesn’t affect them. I can assure you that inequality affects all of us.
Equal rights for women is an important issue that affects everyone, women, men and children
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There are many causes of insecurity and precarity in women’s lives: historical, social, cultural, religious (and I am speaking of ALL major religions that still maintain inequality in the teachings and practices), and, of course, men. Yes, a small but significant percentage of men are still overwhelmingly the perpetrators of discrimination, harassment and violence against women. Men still hold a vast majority of the positions of power, which gives them the opportunity to either ensure or deny safety and equality: socially, politically and economically.
It is time for men to take responsibility and stand up, unequivocally, for women’s rights. However, we still see apathy on the part of many men to take a stand on this important issue. Why is this still the case when we have made progress and seem to be moving as a culture increasingly into an era that values equality? If men profess to love women and want to see themselves as protectors, wouldn’t this be the perfect place to start; supporting women’s demands for safety, security and equality? As made clear by the discussions and statistics provided at the women’s day conference, this is still not the case for far too many women, locally and globally.
The limitations for reticent men may be multi-faceted. The culture of men often keeps them from engaging in anything seen as unmasculine, too gentle, expressive or feminine. I imagine that for some men and women, feminism would definitely fall into the category of too feminine. Men are often scared to show their support of women rights for fear of reprisal from others or may feel that this is not their issue. I would argue, however, that supporting women in the struggle for equality is a man’s issue as well as women’s. It affects all of us, women and men alike as well as children and future generations. It is sad that in our advanced society, some still need to beg for basic tenants of equality and the right to live fully realized and successful lives free from fear of insecurity, discrimination or aggression based on little more than gender.
There is absolutely no excuse for men to continue to ignore the demands of women everywhere for safety, equality and security (physical, social and economic etc.)
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In this day and enlightened age, there is absolutely no excuse for men to continue to ignore the demands of women everywhere for safety, equality and security (physical, social and economic etc.). Whatever the justification for men’s continued inaction or silence, traditional or sexist attitudes, it is inexcusable. We, as men, must stand together with women, take action with women, support women that we say we love in order to ensure actual equality, skills-based opportunity and absolute safety. It is time. And I, for one, am proud to call myself a feminist.
My support of feminism can be summarized by a friend’s recent lament; “Men just need to start standing up for women’s rights.” This is clear. Men need to start living up to their commitments as people of peace, honor, truth and justice. We need to accept the responsibilities our wives, families, communities and the future generations so desperately require of us. If men want to continue calling themselves protectors, then we must begin by protecting the safety, rights and intrinsic value of each human being. We must start by addressing our own inaction and teaching our own children, through example, what it means to be a person of honor: one who cannot stand idly by while the cries of women everywhere continue to ring out. We need to become the men our partners desperately want us to be. Just ask the women and girls in your life, I’m sure they will be happy to tell you what you need to do to make your relationships more loving, supportive and equitable. And if you do ask, please listen to them. Really listen, learn and engage.
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Image: Ding Yuin Shan/Flickr
Thank you everyone for your thoughts! I apologize for my tardiness in approving comments or responding, I am currently out of the country (with my non-feminist identifying wife) without easy internet access. Despite the subtitle (which was written by the editor) I do not think it is important what we choose or don’t choose to call ourselves. The associations and identifiers are not as important as the perspective we hold and the actions we choose to take in our lives. For me, the most important thing is that I always be an advocate for the safety, security and equality of… Read more »
Some of those stats need checking, like the wage gap one or the one about working double inside the home while holding a job. It also annoys people when we focus solely on violence against women, when the number of men victimized by violence of any kind (including rape) is way, way higher. Which is why I say I’ll support any feminist that supports the MRM. I’d like to see more of how feminism is working toward men’s equality as they often say. I think you’ll find that almost all supporters of men’s issues would be very happy to see… Read more »
There is a good reason we can separate and focus on violence against women. The aspects and roots are usually very distinct. By the way, the number of men victimized by domestic violence is not higher than the number of women nor the results are as lethal, and women are raped almost as much as men (men are only raped more because we now count the prison rapes). No, violence against men in these aspects are in no way “way way higher” as you probably wish it were (just to feel more like a victim). The same goes to violence… Read more »
Why aren’t comments being posted? Censorship or just busy mods?
I’ll support any feminist that supports the MRM.
“Equal rights for women is an important issue that affects everyone, women, men, and children.” I think your problem is clear. “Equal rights for women” is the only concern voiced. You bring up the topic of feminism with the understanding that it means “everyone should be equal.” But nominally, feminism is concerned with bringing opportunity and encouragement to exclusively to women. Although many feminists purport that gender equality is the true goal of feminism, and the good ones believe it in their heart, most of the movement is devoted to elevating women with the belief that “only women bleed,” to… Read more »
Not to single you out, because your sentiments echo those of many who claim to disagree with feminism, but do you know what feminism is? As in, have you read up on feminist theory? If you had, you would realize that there are many, many types of feminism and the vast majority of them are about gender equality and examining the gendered notions we have in society that keep both women AND men from reaching their full potential as human beings. Feminism is about examining power and privilege and how it affects ALL people. The reason it seems to address… Read more »
“But how is this view that the fault of feminism, which in the vast majority of its incarnations is neither of those things?” When good feminists remain quiet on the bad ones, it does appear to be silence as acceptance. There is a damn good reason why there are negative stereotypes associated with feminism, I am utterly gobsmacked every-time a feminist shows surprise that feminism isn’t seen as only-ever a good thing. Dunno if you realize but there are quite a few BAD feminists who demonize men, have extremely bigoted views of men and just generally act like assholes. It’s… Read more »
“There is a damn good reason why there are negative stereotypes associated with feminism.”
So you believe negative stereotypes have “good reasons” to exist, Archy? What about “good reasons” why there are negative stereotypes associated with men and their sexual urges? Stereotypes, in the end, only blind and scare people.
Feminism focus on women’s rights. Gay rights movement focus on LGBT people. That does not mean it is against men or straight people. I agree, though, that some “feminist” parts have gone anti-male, but we need to separate them from the true ones. I guess thought, that women’s rights can be seem as something also separated from feminism, even thought feminism also focus on women’s rights. “And often, it seems, those same women who want equal pay still want a man to pay for dates and buy them flowers and jewelry,” Well, I don’t see anything wrong in paying some… Read more »
The intellectual level of many of you almost gets me emotional. Like: “And often, it seems, those same women who want equal pay still want a man to pay for dates and buy them flowers and jewelry. And those same women who rail against objectification wanting desperately to be noticed and complimented for their looks–although, only by the right guy: no losers better gawk at her.” Oh, the evilness of these women. They want to get gifts (never mind they usually also give their men presents), so that means they do not want equality. They like to be appreciated for… Read more »
@ Jack I’ve felt the same thing you feel. I pointed out in a comment on another post that a good man’s obligation to oppose injustice is no less just because the injustice is directed at him. I had planned on saying that opposing inequality means opposing inequalities that men face as well as inequalities women face. Personally, I just don’t feel I should do that so soon after a personal failing. The fallacy is this. Even if men had the power to give women equality. Women would still have to accept it. That means a willingness to do equal… Read more »
I believe feminists should be good people first, feminists second
“We need to accept the responsibilities our wives, families, communities and the future generations so desperately require of us”
Why does this only apply to men…….and what is given in return?
@John Gottman Anderson: But should we be allowed to atleast get caught up in addressing mens issues ON a mens site that is supposed to be BY MEN, FOR MEN , and ABOUT MEN.
It seems that here, men are secondary not the primary. There isn’t a day goes by that there isn’t at least one artilce ABOUT WOMEN and FOR WOMEN.
IOW, TLDR: Where are mens safe spaces to discuss their issues.
@ Jack First, I understand your sentiments. I’ve felt them myself on many occasions and have said so. I pointed out in a comment on another post that it is true that good men fight against injustice and are under no less an obligation to oppose injustice simply because it is directed at them. We need more articles that empower men to stand up for themselves and yes, I think constantly telling men that they are privileged dis-empowers men from seeking redress against injustices done to them. I started to make a comment along the lines of men have a… Read more »
I’m going to take a very light-hearted approach to this article in part because I’m examining one of my recent failings. Allow me to explain. I’ve started an on again / off again project for the website I’m planning on starting, but probably never will. I call the project the censored discussion. It’s quite reasonable, community standards following, comments I’m submitted to websites that haven’t survived moderation probably because the ideas were viewed as politically dangerous. Apathy isn’t the only reason why I don’t screen cap a comment. Sometimes it’s simply unimportant. Recently I submitted a comment to feministing concerning… Read more »
I’m a good man James, and I am not a feminist. All the men I know are good men, and they are not feminists. All the women I know are good women, and they are not feminists. They all believe in and practice equality and respect, but they don’t see these qualities as arising from some sort of narrow gender ideology, but out of basic human nature. They are not perfect in their goodness, but no one is. Feminism, like catholicism, capitalism, communism and every other ism before it, tries to lay some sort of claim to the fundamental goodness… Read more »
I’m a good man James, and I am not a feminist. Nearly all the men I know are good men, and they are not feminists. Nearly all the women I know are good women, and they are not feminists. They all believe in and practice equality and respect, but they don’t see these qualities as arising from some sort of narrow ideology, but out of basic human nature. Feminism, like catholicism, capitalism, communism and every other ism before it, tries to lay some sort of claim to the fundamental goodness of human beings. Like all these ism’s it also tries… Read more »
I’d say you don’t really understand what feminism is. If you truly are looking for parity among the sexes and you DO advocate for women. Then yes, you are a feminist. (Surprise!)
The rest of your comment seems to be fraught with confusion and anger. Any person (men included) who reacts in such a defensive manner must have some identity issues of his/her own. Real men don’t worry about it.
@ Ramone
“Real men don’t worry about it.”
You know having to resort to shaming tactics implies that your message is without merit.