Shawn Rhodes spent half his life as a slave. It took him decades to learn he was born with the keys to his freedom.
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When I was born, I remember being free. I spent my childhood like most kids, exploring, learning and growing. Somewhere along the way, I gave up that freedom. I’m not sure when it happened, but I woke up one day and found I no longer controlled what I thought, did, or believed I could have. There were shackles around my wrists. I was a slave.
A slave? As in “a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them?”
Yes. I was overweight, depressed and lonely. Fortunately, none of that was my fault. My parents fed me junk food, kids bullied me and of course, society’s version of masculinity was flawed. “Nope,” I told myself, “None of this is my fault.” And the shackles became tighter.
By giving up control and placing blame on everything outside myself, I gave up control of my life to others and willingly obeyed them by believing they controlled my happiness.
“You’re the reason I can’t (insert big dream here)?”
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Let’s get one thing clear – slavery is alive and well right here in the modern world. It’s flourishing in business, on interstates and around dinner tables. We’ve done a fine job of combatting the horror of traditional slavery. However, we’ve accepted a subtler, more powerful kind of bondage.
Why? Because it’s easier to be a slave than a free man. It’s easier to place blame than to change.
How do you know a slave when you see one? You can’t use skin color or nationality anymore – slavery has crossed cultural and geographical boundaries. We can’t describe how a slave looks, but we do know what they believe.
A slave believes their parents are responsible for the quality of their current relationships.
Slaves can tell you all the reasons the economy is responsible for their failed business.
When I hear slaves talk, I hear powerlessness – an inability to change their circumstances, their bank accounts or their happiness.
We’ve each slipped into this type of forced servitude, giving up our free will. Have you ever pointed a finger at your wife, girlfriend, boss, government, economy, or religion and said, “You’re the reason I can’t (insert big dream here)?”
“Free men see the world differently.”
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The moment you believed what you were saying, you gave up your freedom and became a slave. Many men spend their entire lives searching for the reasons they can’t be, do, or have the things they want. Many social groups, church services and nightly news programs perform the valuable service of keeping us up-to-date on the newest reasons to choose slavery for ourselves. In effect, we’ve traded metal shackles for psychological ones.
If you’re thinking like a slave, your situation is much worse than someone who has lost their physical freedom – not only is your body the physical property of outside circumstances, but so is your mind and heart.
These invisible restraints don’t just limit our dreams – they limit our ability to be present for our partners, our children, and our world.
So what can we do to free ourselves? A classic story about Babylonians gives us the keys to our freedom:
“The soul of a free man looks at life as a series of problems to be solved and solves them, while the soul of a slave whines, ‘What can I do when I’m only a slave?’” – George Clason, from The Richest Man in Babylon
As a war correspondent, I lived beside freedom fighters who spent their entire lives in political and religious bondage – two things most of us in the free world never have to worry about. Despite this violent oppression, these men and women were truly free. They made the conscious decision that no one was going to put chains around their hearts, minds and dreams.
How are you giving over control of your life to others? Does the mood of your boss affect your happiness at work? Does your partner’s attitude set the tone for how happy you are at home? Do your kid’s grades mean the difference between pride and anger?
If they do, then rattle the chains on those shackles – you’ve earned them. Free men see the world differently.
For free men, problems are opportunities.
Opportunities to grow.
Opportunities to share what they’ve learned with others.
Opportunities to brighten the lives of people they care about.
Opportunities to change world instead of accepting a world that has the power to control them.
There’s an old saying that goes: “God won’t give you a challenge too big for you to handle.” I’m going to add to that. I say, “Life gives you challenges because you can handle them.”
To begin to lose the shackles in your own life, examine where you’ve been giving up responsibility – the ability, and will, to respond. Has your health declined as a result of the stress you’ve been facing at work? Is your relationship with your partner on the rocks because kids take up all your time? Perhaps your bank account is low because of the bad economy?
Make a different choice about the power you have over yourself. Each new choice loosens the bonds you accepted long ago. Eventually, you cast them aside as a free man.
Freedom, and the power that comes with it, is only for responsible people. With it, you have the ability to create a new world for family, your relationships, and yourself. It’s your birthright. It’s a right you earn anew each day by choosing to regain control and choosing to show the world how a free man lives.
So, what’s your first act as a free man? What new choice will you make for yourself? What dream did you give up long ago?
Dream again. Be free.
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–Photo: dualdflipflop/Flickr
Hi everyone – I’m glad that so many are getting some great ideas from this article. I thought long and hard about using the term ‘slavery’ before writing this, and it seemed from my experience the most appropriate word. As a war correspondent, I traveled to places where traditional slavery is still practiced and where many people live under slave-like conditions. What I found separated the oppressed from the oppressors everywhere I’ve been was not social status or title – it was mindset. It’s this same mindset that keeps many of us enslaved to our lusts, habits, and addictions. I… Read more »
well, i like it! regardless of whether the use of the word ‘slave’ is appropriate or not is completely irrelevant. the guy who wrote this article is offering us all some fantastic advice. and i would go so far as to say ‘priceless’. so please don’t waste time complaining about which words were used. that’s on par with complaining about spelling errors in a beautiful poem… or the fact that my sentences don’t start with capital letters! The Message is the important bit, not the method of delivery.
There is more than just one type of slavery – to say that only the most violent forms of chattel slavery are worthy of the name slavery is a bit silly. Indenture or debt slavery is another form of economic slavery, but is common amongst apparently wealthy people. Serfdom or tenantry is another, again one which is common in rich countries and wouldn’t necessarily be called slavery because it is not chattel slavery. This article talks about psychological slavery as another facet of the same dynamic – having your free will usurped for the desires of another, which is fair… Read more »
Words mean things. You can make the point about taking control of your life without abusing an incredibly powerful word, which not only describes *actually* enslaved people throughout history, but people living in slavery to this day. Those experiences aren’t yours to appropriate just to make a cheap point.
This was a really bad comment. Sabrina, who owns the word “Slavery”. Is it copyrighted by someone? I don’t even know how the word came about, do you? For all we know it could originally meant mental bondage and then later came to mean physical bondage. And even if it didn’t, most words have multiple meanings depending on the context.
Like I said, yours was a really bad comment Sabrina.
I actually agree that using the term ‘slave’ seemed pretty wrong, especially coming from a white guy. The article also ignores the fact that slavery does actually still exist. It just didn’t seem to really understand the gravity and complexity of slavery. As Sabrina said, it just came across as a cheap marketing phrase in poor taste.
Mat, the word slave has been used in the context the author is using it for centuries. His being white also in no way lessons his right to use metaphorically (as in this case) or otherwise – white people have also been slaves and other races have also had slaves some where in their history.
I’m sorry Mat but I just cannot agree. The author is well within his right’s even as a white man to use the other meaning of the word slave.
excellent article and it reads well but… I don’t UNDERSTAND this. I sort of grasp it off and on, I can tell I’m a slave, I can tell what’s wrong and how it should theoretically be… but… I don’t understand freedom, I don’t get where to change to be free and just live life.
I totally understand what clueless is saying. Im right there. I know Im a slave. I grasp momentary thoughts of freedom but its elusive. I don’t want to give up my home, spouse, children–I love my life but there has to be a better way of thinking about my life.