A guy wonders how to handle his girlfriend’s secretive behavior and black-out drinking.
Originally appeared at She Said He Said
Dear Sexes: A few nights ago, my girlfriend and I, who love each other, were in my apartment drinking with some friends and she got drunk. While drunk, a friend of one of her ex-boyfriends came into the apartment and she became extremely upset and became very concerned about her ex-boyfriend finding out about the night. Also, before going to sleep, she repeatedly referred to me by his name. She didn’t remember anything the next morning. I believe that there may be something unresolved. Am I justified?
She Said: Okay so the idea of this blog is that Eli and I talk to you guys just like we’d talk to one another…
So if Eli had come to me back in his dating days and told me this story I would say this:
Run for your life, Dude!!
WTF, man?! She freaked out about her ex knowing she has a boyfriend, and then she called you by his name?
No. No. No.
This girl needs some time alone to resolve these issues with her ex. Nobody, neither girl nor guy, should be entering into a serious relationship with someone who is this freaked out about someone else.
Don’t even get me started about dating someone who blacks out from drinking. Bad sign, bro. Danger ahead.
Keep those boundaries clear, let her know this shit ain’t cool, and cut ties if she can’t clearly commit to you without hang-ups.
He Said: Does your girlfriend suffer blackouts, or does she have amnesia? Of course she remembers her actions, and calling you by her ex-boyfriend’s name. She was most likely looking for some sort of reaction from you. And if she’s behaving that way, you’re probably right – she does have some unresolved issues with her ex. Even if she doesn’t remember anything, and the whole evening was her subconscious acting out, that’s just as disturbing. Why was she calling you by her ex-boyfriend’s name? Did she think you were role-playing?
You could ignore the evening’s events, and see if it ever comes up again. But if it bothers you (you cared enough to ask us about it), I would just be straightforward with her, and ask her what’s up. It’s also okay for you to give your two cents, and let her know you thought it was weird, wrong, strange, inappropriate, uncomfortable, etc… – whatever it is you feel. Or you could just ask her if she still has feelings for her ex. Don’t lose too much sleep over it. Do you have some exes names you can call her? Just kidding, don’t do that. Maybe she’s just a mean (or strange) drunk.