Shawn Maxam speaks about his experiences as an atheist in a community whose identity is primarily built around religion.
The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world.
-Max Born
It is quite difficult to be a member of a self-selected minority group (in this case atheists). Especially when one is already a member of several other minority groups that one never had a choice about. Before I define myself as an atheist, or even a Black man, I have a bunch of other traits I feel are better descriptors of who I am. Unfortunately we live in our society where belonging to and being defined by group labels is important. Even I wanted to remain anonymous, I really cannot.
|
Unfortunately we live in a society where belonging to and being defined by group labels is important. Even if I wanted to remain anonymous, I can not.
|
Because of my ethnicity, people often assume certain things about me. They assume I am probably Christian. I am not. I identify as a secular humanist. I also have a mood disorder. Mental illness is also not considered a common identifying trait within my ethnic group. The “bipolar black man” isn’t a common stereotype on film or television.
The best analogy I can give regarding my experience as an atheist who happens to also be a Black man is this:
Inviting an atheist to church/synagogue/temple is akin to to inviting a vegan to dinner at Outback Steakhouse. The sentiment of the invite is nice but the experience for the invited party will be awkward, uncomfortable and often not enjoyable.
I grew up going to an Ethiopian Orthodox Church in Brooklyn. I was an altar boy for nearly two years until, at the age of fifteen, I pierced my ears. The pastor of the church told me that I couldn’t wear earrings. I said I didn’t think God really cared if I wore earrings. It seemed like a rather trivial thing for an omnipotent being to be concerned about. But the pastor who said he was speaking on God’s behalf was very concerned about it. For the next three years I would read about and explore other religions.
After reading everything from the story of Gilgamesh to the Egyptian god Amon-Ra, I found aspects of every religion interesting, but my skepticism about everything began to deepen. Eventually I realized at the age of eighteen that I no longer believed in a god or gods. Immediately, my family began a campaign to reconvert me to Christianity. This really intensified when I was initially diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. My grandmother said if I accepted Jesus Christ into my life again I would be cured of my disease. The devil and demons were blamed for my affliction, along with my rejection of God, of course. It was very disheartening to have my own family tell me I had been afflicted with a crippling disorder simply because I didn’t share their beliefs and behaviors.
I am always looked at with bewilderment when I say I am an atheist. I often don’t disclose the fact I am an atheist or secular humanist until people know me, lest they judge me too quickly. Even when I spoke to my psychiatrist, who happens to be a Jamaican woman, the validity of my belief system was questioned. She proclaimed “you think you’re an atheist” as if I didn’t have the intelligence to know what I really believed. This condescending statement is reflective of how many Black people treat me just because my belief system is different. Which is ironic since Black people have suffered discrimination and prejudice over our “perceived” difference.
Throughout American history the Black community has used religion to organize and survive systems of oppression . Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcom X are considered two of our greatest heroes. We often fail to acknowledge the irreligious activism of the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters or the Black Panthers. Today the center of much of Black people’s social life is centered around the church. It is where many people establish friendships, hang-out with family, meet other Black singles and connect with others who share cultural norms. To not be an active member in a religious setting is very difficult for atheists like me.
Thus, my blackness is always questioned by others, just because I am not a Christian or even a Muslim. As if blackness is defined by an ideology or belief system. I was still harassed by the cops in Brooklyn when I was a teenager. My brother was still murdered. I still have a difficult time hailing a cab. By whatever metric you want to measure, not believing in any god doesn’t get me treated any less Black by the world.
There are many places and spaces for individuals with differences to meet and congregate in our world, so it behooves all of us to take into consideration the comfort of every person involved. The atheist philosopher and author Aldous Huxley said, late in his life, “It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘Try to be a little kinder.’” In other words, whether you share my beliefs or not, I would remind my community that a little bit of respect goes a long way.
The True Love Story of the Neurotic Christian and the Bipolar Secular Humanist
Everyone’s Special But No One’s Unique: The Myth of Individual Exceptionalism
Please share this with friends, enemies and temporary allies alike.
Thanks for reading, sharing and commenting!
R.I.P. SKH
About S. Maxam
Thank you for this piece. I too am in that same boat and have had to bear the silent stares, or cross-way looks from family, friends and co-workers.
Yes PH. Thank you for sharing. It is glad to realize we are the only ones within our community. Do you mind if ask whether your are in the States or not? And if you’ve come across any online resources?
We do exist – ‘Real Talk: Black Atheists on the Rise’ via Essence Magazine
http://www.essence.com/2011/12/02/real-talk-black-atheists-on-the-rise/
Thank you Shawn, you’ve beautifully exposed your ideas and position in life.
I’m not an atheist but I am very skeptical about religions, and I – too – have been annoyed by people thinking I was somehow “wrong” because I didn’t share their belief.
(whatever that belief is)
The most funny thing is, those people “forget” to consider that billions of humans DON’T share their belief as well!
When Christians talk like they’re the best and the blessed and the right, sometimes I like to remind them that they’re just 14% of the world (about 1 billion over 7), thus a minority.
And, since Christ himself taught about loving everybody, Christians’ religious wars are as contradictory as ridiculous.
That’s why Buddhism is the only “religion” (technically it isn’t) I like, among the many:
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”
(The Dalai Lama)
Hey Valter,
Yeah I think we often forget that no matter what belief system we adhere to that there are billions of people who don’t share the same beliefs. I don’t think this difference anyone any less human and we could all engage in a little less judging and as you said via The Dalai Lama that kindness (and compassion) are the best ways to live.
I think you have sparked an idea about discussing the need for kindness especially in today’s world. I would love to hear anything else you want to add especially about maybe your journey towards “liking” Buddhism.
“the need for kindness especially in today’s world”
Oh please. Not that cliché of “our time is bad”, anymore.
Don’t you think that, in ancient Rome (empires, slavery…) or Holy Inquisition times, kindness was waaaay more needed than today?
WRT to Buddhism, I just noticed they’re the only believers who are, usually, not critical or aggressive or hostile or supponent towards other believers or non-believers.
Perhaps it’s because Buddhism is – technically – not a religion, more a philosophy about life; they don’t believe in an all-powerful, monotheistic god (although they believe in spiritual/non-material dimension and beings).
Great read. I loved the story about the preacher and the earring. My older sister, a recent convert to Christianity had a similar experience and questioned whether it was God or the church who cared about jewelry when there were so many other important issue to focus on. I consider myself Buddhist and when I go through periods of hardship, my mother often blame my lack of Godliness in my life, even though she’s religious and often experience the same hardship.
I’d be interested to hear if the author faces a similar sense of “uniqueness/exclusion” among atheists, as being one of the few black atheists present.
Interesting read. Religion, spirituality, ethics and morality are subjects that are so touchy that sometimes they are treated as more taboo than sex. Wouldn’t it be great if we could have real discussions about all 5 topics? And I emphasize “real” discussions. Not the experiences people have where they are talked down to or feel threatened? It’s a difficult thing in American Society for some reason.
Interesting thoughts. I was raised to be kind to others but to never, ever, ever, ever follow the crowd. Hence, I have always been different, and never cared that I was a minority.
I prefer to lead rather than follow. For instance, I wore bow ties before it became a recent trend. Now that it’s become popular, I don’t wear them much anymore, for example. I don’t even like the feeling of giving people the impression that I am doing something because others are doing it.
I teach my daughters to not follow the crowd, not do what others do, or believe what others believe, just because it’s the common thing to do, or (even worse) “everybody’s doing it.” I don’t think there is a more dangerous viewpoint for young people than that – “everbody’s doing it.”
I have studied the major religions and atheism and the evidence shows me that neither are correct, although I respect members of both groups.
@Shawn … given the articles you’ve written, especially “Aggressive Happiness Method.” People are missing out on your wisdom and understanding of people. I respect you as a person and being an atheist is neither here or there. Your non-belief has nothing to do with who you are as a person, it doesn’t make you who you are. Sadly, people of faith wear their faith as a badge and that is so wrong in my book. From what I’ve seen, you practice values that a lot of people of faith don’t. You have insight and understanding and compassion that many people of faith don’t. It’s their loss that they discard you and what you have to offer simply because you don’t believe in God.
And shame on me for at times stereotyping. I work with a gentleman who is atheist and when I found out that he was, my mind went where it shouldn’t. I made presumptions that were inaccurate. So thank you for continuing to shed light and reiterating that belief and/or non-belief has little or nothing to do with the quality of the person.
You can obviously teach people of faith a thing or two about being a good person, a good man. Keep up the great work!
Thank you Tom. I am glad you are enjoying the articles. I think we all can learn from other people if we don’t rush to judgement based on labels.
I am working on that practice myself. Cheers and I look forward to seeing more of your thoughts around here.
I’m glad I stumbled on this piece and it’s driven me to type up a lengthy response. Hopefully somebody chimes in, but if not it’s great for me to get this off my mind.
Much like you Shawn at the age of 18, four years ago in my freshman year of college, I realized I didn’t believe in a God. I took a look at myself and my view of life and the world around me and thought I could still be successful and competent without believing in a higher power. I still hold onto moral values and the teachings my parents instilled in me, but I can’t vibe with the religious “stuff,” for the lack of a better word.
I’ve never been bothered by people going on their religious spiels, because being black it’s almost understood that you’re religious. I live in the South, where most of our values our rooted in religion so I’ve grown up around Christians.
Honestly, I’ve never identified my stance with any of the terminology floating around because it really doesn’t matter that much to me. I’m simply not religious. But, my belief, or lack thereof comes with a couple issues mainly because of my situation as a recent college grad. Right now would be the worst time to alienate myself from family and possibly burn bridges. The situation is tricky for me to navigate.
Another one is future relationships, most black women have ingrained in them that their future husband will be a “good, wholesome, Christian man.” I fit most of the bill except the latter. I ponder how accepting women will be when I decide to settle down.
It’s tough.
In closing, it’s saddening to see how close minded the black community is regarding atheism and their “one way” view, from my experiences and observations, it may be something we have to live with.
-JB
Very interesting and insightful JB. I think you brought up a few complicated aspects of being open with your beliefs. As a recent college grad you need the family support and also it’s very difficult to date inside the race as a “non-believer”.
If you need support there’s quite a few Black atheists on Twitter. You could sign-up under a pseudonym or alias to protect your identity.
I hope to see you there.
@JB: “at the age of 18, four years ago in my freshman year of college, I realized I didn’t believe in a God.”
I wonder: was it you couldn’t believe in (any) God anymore, OR you couldn’t believe in THAT God that you ahve been taught about?
I mean, I agree many religious ideas about “traditional” God(s) don’t make sense. So that divine figure is hardly believable.
At the same time, when I look at the Universe, devoid of any religious prejudice, I still see beauty, order, harmony and balance amidst its complexity. Thus I think it’s not just random chaos, and I believe there’s some kind of “higher” intelligence organizing the whole shebang.
We might call this God, or Higher Spirit, or Manitù.
Yet I see and sense something.
Hence, I advise you to not throw the baby with the bathwater.
A spiritual perspective can be achieved and developed, despite the fallacious religious teachings we received. “Their” God is not necessarily that God that might exists.
Of course, if you ponder this and you still rather be an atheist, that’s fine by me.
Regarding relationships, your point is a good one.
I would say (and I would say it to any girlfriend as well), that being a “good man” has nothing to do with being a “good Christian”: there are awful Christians and wonderful people who aren’t Christian, of course.
It’s just another prejudice… and it’s somehow funny when blacks themselves are holding onto their own prejudices.