“So unmanly, it proves my manhood.”
For a few months now I have been wearing orange shoes. They are so worn out from constant use that I’ve had to alternate them with a favorite pair of two-toned pink and blue ones. My shorts color of choice is purple. My belt is blue croc. I have a thing for man jewelery. I never take off a large necklace that might be confused for a cross. But it’s not. It’s a silver dagger and ruby-studded serpent.
I realize for a straight guy with three kids this all sounds a bit more like a drag queen than the macho man stud I sometimes fashion myself. So what gives?
I’ve always enjoyed breaking the mold. Tell me to do things one way and I will figure out a way to do it completely differently. That’s true in my work and in my fashion sense. But there’s something more fundamental going on here.
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I wear all this crazy stuff just because it isn’t suppose to be manly. My daughter told me the other day, when she saw my pink shoes and rolled her eyes, “You wear stuff that is so crazy because it’s so unmanly, it proves your manhood.”
I guess that is close. The other reason I keep wearing stuff that would be better suited for a gay pride march than a board meeting is the reactions I get from the straightest of straight guys. They smile ever time. “Nice!” they always say with a mixture of admiration, envy, and good clean fun.
You see my theory is all guys really want to wear pink shoes and a dagger necklace. They just need a little push to break out of the man they think they are supposed to be but would rather not.
While I find much of this post a little sexist and definitely homophobic I LOVE the outfit! I would love to drop my kids off at school and see you roll up in a baby blue tricked out hearse (what I imagine you driving) with neon orange plush seats and sauntering out to say goodbye to your kids wearing a full on David Bowie worthy ensemble. The shoes are magnificent and the lavender shorts are adorable. I think a well dressed and whimsical man is bold and brave. Now you just have to match your inappropriate writing to your fashion… Read more »
I think of being manly as being secure in your masculinity and not needing to prove your masculinity. A grown-up, secure man lives his life without worrying very much about whether other people think he’s masculine or not. For example, wearing the clothes you like, choosing an appearance you like, not primarily to fit in with everyone else. A man who is constantly trying to display his masculinity seems not really a fully fledged man yet. But, I kind of think that consciously rebelling against mainstream masculinity is not so different than conforming to it. Wearing something because it’s the… Read more »
My 11:35pm post was in reply to david pisarra’s post. My phone for some reason doesnt show my post as being a subthread of his
Our histories suggest we are similar. Men were certainly decorated before the horrid coups in the late 18th C ce, by the upstart commercial caste in the west and their plainness-in-all-things philosophy (plain undress), and decoration-being-feminine oddity
Before the coups: men aspired to look like a gentleman. After them, to look like a workman
Urgh, Adult mens dress still hasn’t recovered. Since then, decoration once seen as a marker of a man’s rank or creativity. Is now an indulgence or effeminacy
Thumbs up from me tom. Have you thought of wearing the kilt or the utilkilt
I cant be arsed to post about the history of clothing.
I wear a modern version of breeches and hose; hosiery like high heels was originally only menswear. knee length turnup shorts and, red or blue coloured footless leggings or tights(phose) – and steel toed boots as im slenderly built, incase any predators get any ideas.
Most people’s eyes are curious. About 3% have mocking eyes
Less than 1% have had violence in their eyes
tom. seriously, man.
We should all remember that in the lower order of animals, the MALE is the one who is all flashy and decked out. It’s a PeaCOCK not a Peahen that everyone admires and notices.
I say keep rocking it !
my goal is to be a Peacock for sure…
Traditionally, the right to wear “unmanly colors” (I grew up very preppy in pastels) was a sign of class — poor men, who would have to protect themselves with their fists, couldn’t be dandies (even if they could afford the preppy stuff.) It’s a way of signaling confidence — I know I can protect myself (or that someone will) no matter what you say about my shoes.
Pink shirts were popular among young urban African American men a few years ago for this exact reason (trying to find the link…)
the thing with all of this is to remember that straight, whatever it is, is as much an act of drag as drag is 🙂
Of course, being a seven-foot ex-rower with oar-wide shoulders and a deep, rumbly voice allows you a certain latitude in your fashion choices, Lord Gaga. 🙂
Those blue and pink shoes are a crime against humanity.
Crime against humanity indeed. That is the goal bro.
My favourite shirt has been described as ‘obnoxiously orange’ on more than one occasion.
I think it’s more the case that men’s fashion is going through a ‘drab/dark colours only’ phase, and it is the breaking of the mould by those of us who actually enjoy wearing bright, colourful things that makes us considered unmanly, rather than anything to do with potential ‘drag-queen’ status.
I mean, compare now to the kinds of things people wore in the 80s/90s….