Fivel Rothberg’s son thinks Satan is cooler than God. What’s the big deal?
As the father of a 13-year-old self-proclaimed Satanist, I can honestly say I’m proud of my son Noam. His beliefs are at once jokingly provocative and seemingly serious. He says that he doesn’t believe in God, but does believe in Satan, “because Satan is cooler. And if you think about it Satan is actually ‘good’ because he’s punishing bad people, right?” He’s got a point. To me his Satanism is like a person trying on a wild-looking hat out in public, to see what the reactions will be.
That said, Tamara, my son’s mom, no doubt contributed to Noam’s professed beliefs. He was raised on a steady diet of Tim Burton films, like Nightmare Before Christmas, and horror classics that cherish the macabre. Noam’s favorite toy at age three was a doll named “Spooky” that looked like a bit like chubby vinyl black teddy bear with a simplified skeleton printed on its front.
For at least a year, Noam also towed around a two-foot long creepy-looking Frankenstein monster doll with a grotesquely large head, its veins popping out left and right. At three-years-old, the doll was practically the same size as he was. At 13, he now has a tendency to draw zombie clowns and multi-horned devils. So should I really be surprised when my son announced his Satanism? At least he is showing conviction, right?
Tamara is also the daughter of a Jehovah’s Witness. She wasn’t raised that way – her mom converted only a few years ago, possibly at the behest of Tamara’s grandmother who has been a Jehovah’s Witness for decades. I bring that up because it’s interesting to witness, if you will, the disruption, variety and rediscovery of beliefs all in one extended family. Tamara and her partner Jim – Noam’s stepdad – do not practice any religion. But as far as I know they both believe in God, just not organized religion. And Noam spends the majority of the time living with them.
I came into my own non-religious or atheistic tenets at around the same age as Noam is now. As I studied for my Bar Mitzvah I questioned the fantastical stories of the Torah. The tales are such an intrinsic part of Jewish life that they are retold year after year, holiday to holiday, and every day in between. After years of Hebrew school, in which I barely communicated with the rabbi, I distinctly recall wandering up the synagogue’s back stairwell toward the offices to speak with him. I remember walking down the dimly lit office hallway, where the tiled floors were angled so that they pointed toward Jerusalem. The rabbi, a kind but distant man, invited me in and asked me what I had on my mind. I wondered, “in the Torah it says that the flood that Noah escaped killed everyone else in the world. Does that mean we descend from Noah and his wife, not Adam and Eve?” He answered, “well, probably at that time it felt like the whole world was flooded, but it was just the area around Israel. Besides, they are just stories that are told, they are metaphors.” “Oh,” I said. While I went on to do my Bar Mitzvah, my nonbelief was solidified the day I finally had the courage to question the rabbi.
I can only imagine that this disjuncture of shared beliefs within a family system is increasingly common in an era when co-parenting or split parenting is prevalent. With that in mind, I admire Noam’s questioning, searching and playfulness as he discovers the world around him and what beliefs he will hold onto as “the truth.”
Fivel Rothberg is a father, media maker, producer, educator and activist who received his MFA in Integrated Media Arts at Hunter College. He is currently finishing a short documentary about being a father and addressing abuse in his family.
Website: http://www.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.
Twitter: @fivel_rothberg
Originally appeared at NYC Dads Group.
—Photo rhoftonphoto/Flickr
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Nice piece. And nice addressing of the various attitudes towards religion – or not.
Personally, I’d trust more your son, that any religious believer who thinks he has the right to judge my life.
To be more precise, what you’re describing appears to be more along the lines of Devil worship, as opposed to codified Satanism. There is an important distinction to be made, if one takes the time to look into it.
That said, although we ourselves do not accept anyone under the age of 18, children should be encouraged to explore their creative freedom for as long as they are having harmless fun with it.
- Rev. John Strongbone, The Church of Satan.
QUOTE: “…although we ourselves do not accept anyone under the age of 18, children should be encouraged to explore their creative freedom for as long as they are having harmless fun with it.”
Great guidance Rev. Strongbone. I’ll add that during the same period of youthful exploration, the child does in fact need parental guidance and vigilance. We are “Fathers – Dads,” not associates and peers with the boys we are tasked to raise and guide.
Fivel, I read this article and see a formulaic 13-year-old boy whom has made a dreadful decision, and a father impressed more by his son’s brass than by the actual substance of the virtual affiliation with Satan. Quote: “ I admire Noam’s questioning, searching and playfulness as he discovers the world around him and what beliefs he will hold onto as “the truth.” I’m guessing that we would not be reading this article if you had incorporated the attributes of Satanism. Furthermore, would we be reading a similar article if Noam had self-proclaimed a Nazi alliance?
Yes he’s unique. Yes Noam challenges convention, and clearly he’s doing a fine job of rebelling for the benefit of you ex-wife’s shock-value by proxy. “Look mom and Dad, your Grandson loves Satan.” To you and Mom, and others around you may think it’s been cute up to this point. Sir, let me tell you; it’s not gonna stay that way. The days of cuteness will end and be replaced by heartbreak, horror and regret.
In reality, Kid Society more readily embraces the Satanic-looking dude than many other outward labels. Looking and acting outrageous, socially edgy, and rebellious of convention was actually a rather safe decision for Noam. It’s very likely that none of his peer-group doubts the “coolness” of Noam. It’s an easy image with that sets him apart without any substance to his being. However, Noam had made a dreadful decision at an early age, but what choice was he given?
Noam was handed over to Satan on, complete with papers. And Fivel, I warn you this, any of the organization in Satan’s realm is rife with abuse of the young members. The children are already oriented to self-reliance. They seemingly embrace no laws of right or wrong. They demand loyalty of at the highest grade. Satan’s organizations (and yes, he does “organize”) are highly adept at isolating their young victims from ever allowing abuse and truths behind closed door from ever flowing out into your ears.
You notice I’m not evangelizing here Fivel. You can use my Gravatar infor to see who and what I am. Here however, I’m simply taking the role of “fellow-Dad” who’s severely frightened and concerned with a brother’s child in clear danger. I am begging you Fivel, stand with your son and get involved with his decisions before his total autonomy kicks-in and they take him.
Questioning, searching, and keeping a sense of humor are all very positive qualities to be encouraged. They point toward a promising future of rejecting absolute authorities and favoring independent thinking. Well done!
Please understand, I’m not shoving-back. I truly (truly) want to know: “For what reasons is the rejection of absolute authority a requisite condition of independent thinking?”
Noam has already bought-into an established and structured religion. He’s a member of society. Our prisons are chalk-full of people who rejected absolutes. Noam has in fact accepted Satanism as a “truth” (as stated in the article). He is in fact building beliefs based upon existing absolutes.
I’m fearing that I’ll be the only one here who will see the obvious hazards.
If I understand your question, I see Noam’s adoption of an uncommon new “absolute” as a first step toward realizing that there are multiple, and contradictory “absolutes” in many areas of life.
And that’s a key first step toward figuring out that no ‘absolutes’ should be accepted without question. Keep in mind that our prisons are ALSO full of people who have wholeheartedly embraced absolutes with 100% certainty and devotion.
@Rob: I think the reason you are reacting so strongly is because you believe in a very real and literal God, and a very real and literal Satan. You believe that it is part of your job as a father to protect your child from Satan and show him (or her) the way to god. Yes? I don’t want to assume anything about your beliefs, but that is what I am getting from what you’re saying.
Now I can’t speak for Rev. Strongbone, but I think Copyleft, Fivel, Valter and I are probably a little less literal in our interpretation of our various religions (or lack thereof). (Again, I don’t mean to speak for anyone. So if I’m wrong, please do point it out). Anyway, what we all seem to be saying is that a teenager exploring his beliefs is a good thing. Part of figuring out your beliefs is exploring the beliefs of people outside your own family. My parents were non-denominational Christians. As a teenager I flitted from Wicca, to Satanism, to Christianity, to agnosticism. I was trying to figure out what made the most sense to me.
So I think it’s just a matter of different ways of looking at religion and belief. For you it is a visceral and literal thing and Fivel’s child is risking his soul by turning away from God. For the rest of us who have comment, it seems to be more about exploring identity and pesonal opinion.
Yes Heather. Your perceptions of my motivations are correct but not complete. As an activist in Stopping Child Sexual Abuse, I have seen this particular flavor of teenage exploration leveraged into abuse. This abuse is special in that the perpetrators employ the secretive nature of the religion and the duty of agreement made between the invested child and the group/coven/church/religion. The Catholic Church does not own a patent on their methods. Rather, any isolating entity (by virtue of many factors) can put a green kid in very bad positions.
Am I a Christian? Yes. I’m a non-denominational Christian, whom has had really bad experiences with “religion.” But I really tried not to approach the article-reply with a Christian bent. Rather, I simply wanted to warn a fellow Dad according to my experience and research-base.
Alright I am just trying to understand here, not argue. Just wanted to point that out from the beginning.
Are you saying your worried that Fivel’s child will be abused by other Satanists or devil worshipers? Is this because they are associated with Satan? Or is it because you distrust pretty much any organized religion?
OY!! I had a long and detailed reply written-out and the site did a refresh and all was lost. I need to remember to write my replies in Word first. I’m tight for time now so I’ll have to be brief (good luck with that Rob).
The factors and components off abuse are present and employable within any organization where trust can be betrayed and truths isolated from light and attention. You see the same components at Penn State, Syracuse, The RC Church and The Smithtown First Baptist Church, Acme DayCare, State Institutions, Juvenile Prisons, etc.
The Satanists have special (extra) factors that bring in amplified risk. It does not take a heck of a lot of Google searching to find cases and explanations of this. But as somewhat of an expert on the Child Sex Abuse topic, I’ll say that Satanic Ritual Abuse is in its own subcategory where the standard enabling factors exist and then are employed somewhat officially in some covens.
Disclaimer: Not ALL covens are sources of Child Sexual Abuse. But some are. Those that are dangerous, execute very severe and warped practices with their member’s children and children of other sources.
Yeah I’ve had that happen to me a few times. I’ve started copying everything to the clipboard.
I can see what you’re saying about institutions and abuse. Ah, I have heard arguments on both sides of the SRA debate. However, it is not my area of expertise and I do not have any personal connection to it one way or the other. So, I don’t actually have an opinion on the matter of SRA versus other child abuse.
Anyway, thanks for clarifying what you meant.
Personally my view is that all Satan/Lucifer can offer is a short ride on Earth whereas God plans for the long haul-eternity!
‘Nuff said!
Terry
Doesn’t hell last an eternity, too?
I expect you have some reservations and some reasonable limits to his religious exploration. You are within your rights and duties as a parent to discourage him from handling poisonous snakes (some Pentecostals), making animal sacrifices (ancient Judaism, among others), taking beating hearts out of living humans (Mexica/Aztec), or declaring genocide on unbelievers (take your pick).
P.S. And if he wants to get circumcised, do NOT let him do it to himself.
I’m surprised that this doesn’t actually talk much about Satanism and how your son is demonstrating admirable qualities because of this. Disappointing, but it’s great to see supportive parents.
I think it is fantastic that Noam has chosen Satanism (or Devil Worship, if you will). I salute his independent thinking and his choice of a God who is not a part of the mainstream. Good for him! I hope he hangs on to what he blieves. And good for you, Fivel, for being an awesome dad!