Adiba Nelson says go ahead and lose the hipsters. But please, keep the beard.
I’m no hipster. As a matter of fact, being the fashion whore that I am, I shun the whole idea of the hipster movement. It’s so lackluster. So sleepy. So … dare I use a hipster term … MEH. The plaid shirts everywhere, the pajama pants (that look like they smell like Doritos every damn time I see people in them), the Miami Vice boat shoes—ugh. I just can’t with these kids. I. Just. CAN’T. It just needs to go away.
Oh, but wait. The beard. Hey now. Hey there Mr. Hipster, with your big, beautiful, bushy beard. Swing your chin around this way.
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Oh, but wait. The beard. Hey now. Hey there Mr. Hipster, with your big, beautiful, bushy beard. Swing your chin around this way. I might not be able to get down with the hipster fashion (if you can call it that), but that hipster BEARD? Well now, that does not need to go away. EVER. No matter what this guy says. A well trimmed beard is just about as sexy as caramel colored wingtips. Pair a bushy face with a three piece suit and this girl is mush in your hands. Why? It forces me to acknowledge that this guy will be himself, regardless of where he is or what he’s doing. Now, some could say that that’s exactly what the hipster movement is about, and to them I would say that’s another post for another day (since they all seem to think it’s cool to bring back velcro wallets and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon). But really, here’s the deal. According to David Yi of Mashable, and male model Joel Alexander, beards are done. Or to put it in hipster speak, they’re like Kurt Vonnegut—old, I mean, dead. Joel goes as far as to say that “The hipster is a thriftster. In essence he’s cheap. He’s that Silver Lake guy with Vans and rolled up jeans. I love that look, that’s who I am too, in a lot of ways. But today’s dude is all about looking more unattainable, looking more elevated, maybe more expensive. No one wants a hipster who looks like he just got done scavenging.”
I can’t speak for all women, but most women I know want a man who is confident, and comfortable in his skin—not the guy taking his style notes from the latest issue of GQ.
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Now, here’s my problem with that statement. On the one hand he’s absolutely right. No one wants a hipster who looks like he just got done scavenging—but no one wants anyone who looks like they just got done scavenging, hipster or not. Secondly, who wants the guy who will conform to the masses? So, since supposedly the “in” thing is to look more elevated and expensive, a guy is going to shave his face? I can’t speak for all women, but most women I know want a man who is confident, and comfortable in his skin—not the guy taking his style notes from the latest issue of GQ. If that’s the case, we’ll quite literally be dating a different guy every month, which is fine (and now that I think about it, could be fun—but again, another post, another day). But really, if I’m going to be completely honest, beard or not, if you’re hot you’re hot, and what’s hot is doing YOU no matter what. You want to rock a beard like Captain Ahab, rock that face warmer. Just make sure you clean it after every meal, because you know, you may be fine but nobody looks good with last night’s dessert stuck to their face. Have an itch to shave your facial follicles into an awesome handlebar mustache? Do it—and have a strut so fierce Sam Jackson asks to see your wallet. Feeling like baby soft is the way for you? Shave it baby! Shave it all, and then give yourself the best Blue Steel you can muster because honey, you got it.
My point is this—the hipster movement may be dead (and if it isn’t, it should be. Message me to discuss how we can kill it), but beards, fellas, they are most certainly alive and kickin’. Smooth as a baby’s bottom—deliciousness. Handlebar mustache—hold on for the ride (get your head out of the gutter—I’m saying this guy is a fun guy—sheesh!). Men, do you! Be your sexy, bearded fuzzy selves! I’ll tell ya, I was never the girl to love a beard until I found myself ridiculously in love with my very own Grizzly Addams, and let me just say this—there’s definitely more to grab on to.
Go stick that in your razor and DON’T shave it.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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