Both men and women need gender partnership because it makes sense on so many fronts.
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There is a win win for both men and women if we embrace gender partnership and all it affords. But for this to happen, we as men, in our roles as fathers, husbands, partners, and leaders, must acknowledge that the old model of what it means to be a man isn’t serving anyone.
This also means that it is time to embrace a new model of being a man that can support us, our families, our communities, and our organizations.
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Personal experience
I know this first hand at home.
It’s this commitment to the same end game that drives our partnership forward.
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My wife and I work full time and the only way we can successfully run our household is as partners. We both share in the responsibilities, utilizing our corresponding skill sets and capabilities to get things done. Old gender models of who-does-what don’t apply. Yes I do laundry, empty the dishwasher, cook, clean, shop for food… whatever is needed to create the home we both want. It’s this commitment to the same end game that drives our partnership forward.
It wasn’t always this way for me.
My first marriage had me unconsciously step into the old model I watched growing up with dad going to work and mom responsible for raising my brother, sister and me.
My unconscious mind saw that as the man, I was supposed to go to work, provide, and that most everything else was left to my wife.
That didn’t last long.
Ultimately my lack of emotional literacy, the “running” of the old model of what it meant to be a man, led to my divorce and my wake up call.
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Why now?
Two very large and powerful groups – women and millennials – are demanding a different model.
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The old patriarchal model of leadership is fast becoming extinct. Two very large and powerful groups – women and millennials – are demanding a different model. They want flexibility, community, purpose, and to be valued for their contributions.
So do I! And I imagine many men want this too.
If companies are going to thrive and remain competitive in the 21st century, then we will need heart driven leadership from the men in power that will require empathy, emotional literacy, and yes even some vulnerability.
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The influence of women on men
I have learned and continue to learn from empowered women.
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In my work as an inclusionary leader, I could not have become the man I am today without the support, feedback, and encouragement from women in the workplace. I have learned and continue to learn from empowered women, as well as representatives from other target groups, on my journey of being an inclusionary leader.
The women in our lives – whether it be the women we work with, our spouses, our daughters, our sisters, or complete and total strangers – deserve the same opportunities as us guys.
They need good men to do our part in using our power and privilege for good, by standing up for gender equity, equality, and ultimately doing this by being gender partners.
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What is a guy to do?
Be part of a movement.
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Be part of a movement. For starters, learn about this topic and what you can do along with other men and women committed to gender partnership by attending The BetterMan Conference: Empowered Leadership through Gender Partnership in San Francisco on April 7th and 8th.
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As a committed man myself, I invite you to consider my invitation to:
- Assume the responsibility of leaders to create safer, more balanced dynamics in teams, organizations, families and communities.
- Rethink how men interact both personally and professionally, how men lead, raise their kids and how they define success.
- Become part of a growing sustainable community of committed men to action.
Hope to see you at the Better Man Conference!
I wish the corporate model of leadership would be fast becoming extinct since it has not worked so well for the last 36 years. Kids are screwed up whether they are a in patriarchal model of leadership of matriarchal leadership.
Then G, you want to be a serf and a peasant churning out clay pots to sell to people who come to the fair. The king takes all you got and gives you a bit of bread for basic sustenance. But that’s about it. The corporations, while needing reform, are the one institution who literally enriched the entire world, even the 4th world countries we still have today. Again. Pure Marxist rhetoric that offers no path to betterment. But at least we all be in a shitty place equally and I’ve figured out that that’s what the masses of the… Read more »
Just a quick thought, with as many families there are these days where children are being raised by single moms, appears to me that we should start to look at “matriarchal” issues because there sure are a heck of a lot of screwed up kids these days. Something isn’t working.
Personally. I’ll stick with the patriarchal model I observed with my dad … it’s worked well for me and my family for 41 years, Worked for my dad and mom for 40+ years and appears to be working well for my daughter and her husband.
But it won’t work in the longer run Tom. It did work for your dad and mom. It worked reasonably well for you being a bit older. It didn’t work as well for me, and I’m only about 10 years younger than you are and your daughter is nowhere close to where her grandmother was, nor even her mother. She got a whole ‘nother view of the world than even you or your father. Does your SIL just sit on the couch and have her get beers for him? Or does he help your daughter and the housework? If they… Read more »
I understand that you’re 10 years younger but you also have to understand that I was the youngest in my family which means my parents were from the old old ages. LOL, In fact my mom’s house in Oshkosh was one of the first homes on their street to get electricity. One of the things that we have to clear up is the stereotyped patriarchal environment. As I said, I grew up in a patriarchal home but that by no means reflected a subservient wife much less a demanding oppressive husband. She, nor any other mom I knew in those… Read more »