Devin Robinson explains the effects of forcing kids who aren’t ready to go college
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Every year, millions of students say their tearful goodbyes and head off to their new lives as a college freshman only for 43% of them to drop-out the following year. I’ve stood in front of many of these students on their first day of college and when I asked them of their life ambitions, less than 30% of them clearly have a clue.
The truth is college is a dream that most parents have for their children. This dream is based on the statistics that show college graduates make $1,000,000 more than high school graduates over their lifetime. Naturally, parents want this for their children. In addition to that, college students simply live a better overall life. But what about those students who go against the grain and significantly succeed? What about those who follow the script and fail?
There are 5 reasons why you should never force your child into attending college against their will:
- It could create resentment and relationship estrangement
- It runs the risk of them never finding their true life’s passion
- It could create debt over training in a field they may never work in
- It runs the risk of them getting into major trouble at school seeing that they wouldn’t be focused
- It could cause them to use up federal or state benefits in field they are not passionate about
Now let me briefly dissect this. It isn’t wise to pay someone for you to waste time. It doesn’t make sense. True, there are scholarships and grants available for students, but not because it is not an out-of-pocket expense means there isn’t a cost (and yes, the school still gets paid). The cost is also in you and your child’s time.
I went to college soon after high school and again 10 years later. I learned way more and was more committed when I went back 10 years later because at that time I wanted to be there. Consider that as you look at these 5 healthy and safe alternatives for a recent graduate that could be more suitable for them.
- Volunteer – This is a good way for a young person to learn the value of humanitarianism and view the world from a social lens. It helps with maturity and development.
- Military – The military has huge upsides. You learn a trade, gain valuable benefits, get to travel, learn independence and get paid as you learn gain these experiences. Yes, there is the threat of war but the higher you score on your entrance exam, the further away from the front lines you can wind up.
- Trade school – This is a low-cost way of getting educated. It allows a recent graduate to gain a marketable skill while not breaking the bank.
- Business – Help them start something simple, a landscaping business or a babysitting business. This will definitely teach them the arts and sciences of selling, managing money and the importance of building a strong work ethic.
- Travel – This will help give them valuable exposure and a wider outlook on life.
- Additionally, it will dramatically help them develop the skills to work with a diverse workforce, which our country is inevitably going.
Let’s keep in mind that colleges actually support this position. If they didn’t they wouldn’t give college credit for work experience. There are many unearned honorary degrees issued every year for people who have demonstrated excellence in their craft; only proving that schools view learning as not just a thing that happens in the classroom.
Now I am not in the least saying that students should never go to college. I am a huge proponent of higher learning. But like success in anything, timing plays a major role. If the time you insist on them attending school is not quite in alignment with their preparation, you can perhaps be creating a college drop-out with a steep college debt who can’t find a job to satisfy their financial obligations. And the dream you had of them taking care of themselves will remain a dream of yours as you continue to be their safety net for many years.
Originally published on Black Life Coaches
At 26 I have been in school continuously since I started kindergarten at age 5. Since I am just finishing my MA and haven’t been accepted into a PhD program yet the next academic year will be my first experience of not being in school since I was quite young. I hope it won’t be for too long. I find it is much harder to relate with and make friends with people outside of academia. I generally liked college much more than high school and I certainly don’t regret not taking a year off to do something else. Granted, I… Read more »
My kids had to go to college right away because, at the time, they would have simply had no health benefits if they left high school and did not either go directly into college or get a full time job with benefits. It’s a tough life, but at least we aren’t talking going off to join the Civil War at the age of 14. I am just glad they had the opportunity. If they had wanted to wait, then they simply could have paid for it themselves, some day.
As someone who teaches college courses and has a wide variety of students in my classes, I would wholeheartedly agree with this. Mostly I would put it this way: “Because I’m 18” is just about the worst reason to start going to college. Sure, it’s “tradition freshman age,” and that works for a lot of people, but it’s generally a bad reason. “Momentum from high school” is also a very bad reason to start college. The students who get the most out of college (and the ones that are the most pleasant to teach) are students who have actively, consciously… Read more »
Sorry, should say “traditional freshman age.”
Back in my day, I knew few peers that really knew what direction they wanted to take but then again, we all sat (qualification – all us GUYS) anxiously awaiting the numbers to be drawn to see if we were heading for war. Some simply joined the military. I didn’t force either of my kids into college. Last year, my son finished on his own. It took quite a while and effort, but he did finish. I totally agree with the article as well. The only option that appears to be recognized is college when there are many many other… Read more »