Turn off the news and focus on happy memories. That’s where gratitude begins.
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The turkey has been carved and devoured along with the rest of the Thanksgiving feast. The leftovers stored for another meal. But the experience of the day, gathering with family and friends to celebrate goodness remains in the air.
In our family, we share what we are grateful for as we sit down to eat, going around the table one-by-one to express an important event or feeling in our lives. Expressions of gratitude lead to memories, stories, and laughter. Politics and conflict are not present at our table.
But it’s not just a Thanksgiving tradition; my husband and I like to experience those moments every day because there is always something to be grateful for. Now more than ever, with the world in turmoil, focusing on joy and positive experiences is important. Especially with the world in turmoil.
You see, I don’t understand violence. I always try to see the positive in any situation. Sadly, the news has been full of tragedy lately. And hate. And violence.
Call me Pollyanna if you must. I believe there is more good in the world than bad.
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Brutal shootings, stabbings, and bombings are in the headlines nearly every day. I am aware of them but don’t dwell on them. No, I don’t have my head in the sand to hide from what is going on, and no, I am not callous and cold about the world events either. Instead, I choose to focus on good, and beauty, and joy.
Call me Pollyanna if you must. I believe there is more good in the world than bad, and I prefer to focus on that. I have had some negativity in my life, but I prefer to concentrate on what has been positive.
My health is better because of it. Have you ever heard the phrases, “He is a pain in the neck” or “She gives me a headache?” Say them enough and those symptoms can and will manifest. When I was a teenager, someone made me, “sick to my stomach,” and I had ulcers to prove it. I learned quickly to move from a place of what was wrong and look at the good instead.
And there is plenty of good in the world. You only need pay attention. People helping others get less news coverage than those with motives to hurt and destroy, but the good guys do exist. What you focus on will show up in your life (and your news feed!)
Stories of good deeds often surface during the holiday seasons, as they become “newsworthy.” But look a little deeper and perhaps more often, and you will encounter acts of kindness in your daily life.
My dad was one of the good guys. He always had a twinkle in his eye and a pun on his lips.
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I did. I found inspiration in my own home. As we were sharing stories at Thanksgiving this year, we laughed about my father and his quirky sense of humor. My son and husband recounted stories that made us all laugh. Which led us to fond memories and more stories.
My dad was one of the good guys. He always had a twinkle in his eye and a pun on his lips. He was the king of bad jokes, and we all groaned at the punch line. And then we laughed. He loved word puzzles and games. He played them daily, until dementia and eventually Alzheimer’s took over his brain. I’m a sucker for puns, puzzles and bad jokes to this day. There is such joy to be found in the silliness of them and happy memories of my dad are always welcome.
He taught me a few good things too.
• To volunteer and help others out. I’m really proud that he instilled those values in me. And I’m proud that my son lives by them too.
• To make an amazing meatloaf. It was one of his specialties and a feel-good-comfort-food-meal to this day. Love on a plate.
• To change a tire on my car and change the oil too. He wanted me to have skills so I could always rely on myself if need be. I am strong and independent because he showed me I could be.
• He taught me to drive. And he rescued me when on my first solo outing, I left the gas cap at the gas station when he sent me to fill the tank. Too embarrassed to go back myself, he drove back to retrieve it.
• He taught me how to be a good parent. When my gas pedal locked down while driving on the interstate, I panicked as I couldn’t get the brakes to work, pulled to the side and shoved my car into park, dropping my transmission in the process. He never yelled, but came to my rescue, kindly instructing me that putting my car in neutral would have been the better option.
• He taught me creativity. I love jigsaw puzzles, but no had place to put them together except for our family table. Dad put huge casters on a piece of plywood so I could have a portable jigsaw puzzle board that could easily slide under my bed, and keep the dining room table free for its intended purpose.
Reminiscing about my father this week and sharing these stories around our Thanksgiving table made me feel good. I want to hear your good stories and memories too! I challenge you to share more of what brings you joy. Look for the good. Spread it around!
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Photo:Flickr/Johnny Ainsworth