Riot Parent, Riot Kids: Reflections on Teen Sexuality, Becoming a Feminist, and the 90s Riot Grrrl Movement

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About Tomas Moniz

Tomas edits and writes for Rad Dad, loves zines, and lives with two amazing daughters, a bunch of chickens, bees, a cat and dog in south Berkeley.


  1. I loved this piece. Thanks.

  2. Janet Dell says:

    Tomas: In all honesty, do you think feminism made your job easier OR harder as a father. From my life experience, from seeing what my husband and his brother have been put thru in the family court system, I would say their lives are much harder because of feminism. I am talking about mainstream feminism though, the ones with the political clout, ala NOW etc. They fight shared parenting at every turn then cry “We want fathers to step up and be more involved”.

  3. Father of two daughters here.

    I personally know hundreds of long-time married fathers, with good relationships with their children of a varying ages, from adults who are parents themselves down to newborns. The find feminism to be either irrelevant or a negative influence.

  4. Anthony Zarat says:

    “The number of times I was told I couldn’t parent because I was a man was infuriating.”

    Feminists routinely use both the law and culture to denigrate and marginalize fathers. When conservatntive politicians propose legislation that challenges the presumption of paternal incompetence, feminists are against it. The NOW routinely uses “action alerts” to prevent shared parenting bills from becoming law. Before calling yourself a feminist, you should consider carefully the difference between the things that feminists say, and the things that they do.

    • Peter Houlihan says:

      It should probably be pointed out that one of the people fighting for gender equality in the article you mentioned identified as feminist.

    • Peter Houlihan says:

      “It seems that, to the Democrats, support of the bill would undermine women’s rights. But, as the grandmother testified, as a feminist she is offended by the current law. She said that feminists like her fought in the 1970s for equality, not for laws that favor women.”

      Not that this is true anywhere near often enough, but it shows that someone can call themselves a feminist and still stand up for men’s rights.

      • Anthony Zarat says:

        ” .. shows that someone can call themselves a feminist and still stand up for men’s rights ,,”

        I think that most self-identified feminists believe in equality. However, feminism is more than a group of people expressing their opinions. Feminism is the most powerful political lobby in human history. It does not matter what individual teminists SAY. What matters is what the titanic feminist juggernaut DOES.

        Feminist institutions universally fight against equal rights for men, boys, and fathers. Feminist institutions such as the NOW use their vast political, financial, and instittional power to demonise men, to marginalize fathers, and to cripple boys. If there has ever been even one exception to this, I do not know about it.

  5. John Schtoll says:

    @peter: You are correct, myself, I really do look at different levels of feminism, grassroots (like most people on here) and people more main stream, i.e. people like NOW. NOW as an organization is all about getting power for women at the expense of everyone else. Have you seen their action alerts about shared parenting, whenever a bill is being written and considered, they issue these action alerts with instruction on how to defeat the bill.

  6. Anthony Zarat says:

    Hot off the presses:

    TODAY, Monday Apr 30, the New York chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) is celebrating the defeat of A330. The bill would have granted New York fathers equal custody rights.

    Predictably, the NOW declared multiple action alerts to stop the bill. They went so far as to publish a series of articles in the pro-feminist Albany Times Union, calling fathers “predominantly ineffective,” saying that most fathers are “not involved in the lives of .. children”, and affirming that the “NOW has always favored primary caregiver presumption legislation to ensure stability and continuity of care for children.”

    The feminists defeated the bill using every under-handed tactic in the book. Ultimately, the bill was shelved based on non-existent technicalities.

    The bill was defeated along party lines. Republicans defended equal rights, while Democrats fought for continued discrimination.

    • And yet, these hypocrites have the audacity to bemoan and criticise men for not doing their fair share of child care.

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