Patrick Sallee wonders what success really looks like
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What dream are we chasing? When do we arrive? What success is enough?
Everyone defines success differently, but for me it has primarily been focused on career advancement. That focus has paid off I guess. I’ve accomplished many things I set my mind to. But at what cost? What is the end goal here?
I used to think I knew. I had this picture of the success I was striving for. Career advancement. Kids. Nice house in the suburbs. What’s next? Handle your job responsibilities, your family duties and the household chores all while still making time for friends, hitting the gym and maybe even a round of golf … oh and do this looking like you never broke a sweat.
But that’s not possible is it? I’m sure someone is doing that. It sure as hell isn’t me.
At work I get things done. I’m stubborn and determined and will push to make sure we get projects complete and improve. But some days it takes every ounce of energy to pretend to care what this person in my office is saying … but my daughter is struggling and I can’t fix it for her. It is my responsibility to fix it, but I can’t fix this … or think about anything else.
Handle your job responsibilities, your family duties and the household chores all while still making time for friends, hitting the gym and maybe even a round of golf…oh and do this looking like you never broke a sweat.
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I get home and I know there is a pile of laundry to do, a kitchen to clean, and the grass needs to be mowed … but that stuff isn’t going anywhere and my mind is fried. Staring at that to-do list just reminds me of all the things I failed to get done while at the office.
It is like every direction I turn some one or some thing is telling me I’m failing. I’m not keeping up. I’m not handling it … and at the end of the day, isn’t handling it what being a successful man is all about?
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People remind me that this is life, that everyone feels this way, just trying to keep things together but always feeling like you are running on empty. But is this true? Is this all we have to look forward to? Isn’t there a point you get it all under control?
I don’t know the answer to many of the questions. But I do know a few things I’m going to do:
Accept it: None of us can do it all. At some point point I have to accept that some things just won’t get done today and decide I’m okay with it. There are going to be people I let down, I think that is just part of life when you are trying to fit everything in. I can’t make time for everything I’m invited to, I can’t respond to every email, and I can’t make every meeting request … but I can be sure my family is impacted the least.
No matter if it is an important work meeting or I’m packing my daughters’ lunch for school … just do that thing in that moment.
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Be present: Often what I need to do later, impacts my ability to do what I need right now. Maybe I’m alone in that, but for me it is the phone buzzing with another request, I think of another project to get started or I remember an errand I forgot to run and it impacts the meeting I’m in or the current project I need to focus on. I need to be more thoughtful and patient to handle what is in front of me and nothing more. No matter if it is an important work meeting or I’m packing my daughters’ lunch for school … just do that thing in that moment.
Be thankful: If the worst thing I can say about my day is it was really stressful … in the whole scheme of things, we can agree that still is a pretty good day. I need to remind myself more often that a lot of people battle challenges every single day I couldn’t overcome.
Whatever it may be that you are striving to accomplish, some area of life is probably falling behind. We can’t always succeed with everything we try or every area of life … and any success we do have seems to be fleeting. But we can appreciate the people we have in our corner, any opportunities we’ve been given and the obstacles we’ve overcome.
Photo:—flickr.com/photoloni
Preach it!