“I shouldn’t have read the email… her EX can’t stop thinking about her!” Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt wonders…
Question: I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years (4 this June). She asked me to house sit for her and check on her dog while she was out of town on business. No big deal right? I don’t have internet at my place so I asked if I could hop on her computer while I was over there. She said that was fine and gave me the password. When I signed in, I proceeded to check my email, no big deal. The problem is her emails auto load and I saw a window pop up with her ex-boyfriend’s name. I know I shouldn’t have read the email but I did and now I regret it. He wants her back, can’t stop thinking about her, blah blah blah. What do I do? Do I tell her or do I just pretend like this never happened?
Answer: Wow, this is so complex. You seem to have been so innocent in your actions and then WHAM… news like that to either ignore which could have driven you crazy… or to read the ex’s email which may be driving you crazy too! Of course you didn’t purposefully go through her emails and yet when presented with the pop up… you received the information from the Universe.
Deeper than the initial question of telling her or pretending it never happened… the answer to this question will inform what to do that’s in alignment with your values… Do you trust her?
Basically 4 years of dating and perhaps you’re at a juncture for taking it deeper or moving on and the Universe wants to ‘test’ you to help you make that decision. If you totally trust her, who the frigg cares if multiple ex’s are after her… you know she’s committed to you and it even turns you on that she’s desired. Or if you don’t totally trust her then perhaps this event is giving you evidence to back up your intuition. Or perhaps this is happening to show you that a more clear deal needs to be communicated between you two of how you handle ex’s, crushes, desires outside the relationship.
Bottom line such a ‘big’ event is meant to get your attention on some level. Trust your deepest awareness as to what the message is and take heed.
THEN once you’re clear on the above, it will become clear if you’ll just let it go or tell her and communicate about something deeper that’s ready to be addressed.
And if the only thing that turns out to be the lesson is to value yourself even more deeply and to your own trust in yourself and trust in the Universe (because on some level we can’t ever truly trust someone to be anyone other that who they truly are, not who we want them to be)… then what a wonderful invitation to know your worth and have your own back no matter what happens with external circumstances.
Practices to deepen your sense of grounded presence and awaken your noble badass are found in my complementary report at www.GetHerToSayYes.com. And if learning more communication skills (and the courage underneath these skills so you use them xox) with the capacity to sit in the fire and not shrink back even when you fear rejection is a capacity you’re ready to embody, then apply for a complementary strategy session at www.AllanaPratt.com/connect. Let’s see if we’re a fit to support you in being the BEST you can be for you… and in this relationship no matter what the journey.
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We can speak in riddles, we can tell a man all sorts of mystical ideals, tell him that this betrayal is an opportunity to grow and better himself as a man, or we can begin to be honest with them, drop the facade that there is an excuse every time a woman harms a man, and speak the truth that there are just as many toxic women out there, just as many cheats, liars, violent offenders out there in a skirt as their are in a dress, that they just do so in a different way, mostly with emotional abuse… Read more »