Seven Things I Learned as a Male Phone Sex Operator

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About Noah Brand

Noah Brand is an Editor-at-Large at Good Men Project, and possibly also a cartoon character from the 1930s. His life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. He is usually found in Portland, Oregon, directly underneath a very nice hat.

Comments

  1. Could you write, or commission, an article just about male orgasmic remorse? I’ve never heard of it (aside from occasional stand-up comedy punchlines) and would like more insight into this phenomenon. I wonder if it happens to men in non-Western cultures too.

    Great read, by the way, Noah. I appreciate your personable writing style – the very same characteristics that probably helped you in this gig!

    • You might want to research Post-coital tristesse: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse

      No primary sources found in my 2-minute Google-search, but most seem to think it’s hormonal (related to dopamine and/or prolactin) and that men suffer from it more often than women.

      • I once started crying after a really intense orgasm. I wasn’t sad, just emotional. Freaked out my boyfriend pretty good!

    • Yes! Please, please, write more about this!

      I actually thought this was something that just happened to me before reading this article. Thank you for talking about it. Understanding the neurophysiology would be really cool, but I can’t seem to find anything free online about it. I wonder if it’s linked at all to refractory period at all?

    • I’d also like to learn more about male orgasmic remorse.

  2. Alexis Rhone Fancher says:

    Terrific article. Makes me reconsider my future employment opportunities.

  3. I know men are human beings and they must want more than just sex. But, all they ever seem to offer is sex and selfishness for their own needs. How can they expect to find more if they ignore it or push it away when it is offered? I don’t need an answer really. I’ve done enough frog kissing.

  4. What I would really like to know is why someone would call when they are in a relationship that IS affirming and that offers real sex… is there something missing for that person?
    An interesting discussion would be whether or not this behavior from these men is actually cheating on their girlfriends that don’t know.

    • Michael says:

      An even more interesting discussion would be if “these men” had this urge and did not act on it, would they be cheating on themselves?

  5. I am a female phone sex operator and I must say the authors points are right on the money from my perspective. Nice post about the often forgotten phone sex industry!!

  6. I also worked as a phone operator these last few years and I’m amazed of how familiar this sounds.
    People usually can’t image how emotionally draining this line of work is…

  7. Michael says:

    I suspect that the guys are calling a phone sex line because something is missing from there relationships. I’ve met people who are near incapable of giving affirmation to others and didn’t realize it. It could be the guy is in a relationship that is not affirming at all.

    Also, many guys are raised to believe that no woman will ever accept who he is. It is hard to stop believing this, even when you know it isn’t true.

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