JJ Vincent reveals a secret about the “girlie stuff” men deny doing-we secretly love it.
“I didn’t mean to watch Hope Floats. It was just in the DVD player.”
“I didn’t mean to watch Pretty Woman. I just stopped on that channel.”
“I know it’s Nicholas Sparks, but you left it in the bathroom.”
“I didn’t use ALL of your Tangerine soap. I just, um, didn’t grab another bottle.”
“How am I supposed to figure you out if I don’t read your magazines? And by the way, this sweater would look great on you.”
Ok, guys. ‘Fess up. You all have a guilty little pleasure or three that you don’t tell anyone about. Ok, maybe your significant other. Maybe your best friend. Maybe. And maybe only after he’s told you his.
It’s something we don’t talk about, except in whispers. We find 10,000 ways to make excuses if we get caught. We keep our stashes hidden. We don’t put them in queue in our video service. We change the titles in our music players.
These are the little “unmanly” secrets we keep.
We pretend to not like chick flicks, chick lit, TV shows about women targeted at women who want to feel superior to other women, the shampoos we get when we get haircuts, the stuffed animals we got from teenage dates, the fluffy comfy bathrobe that we just “happen” to grab and wrap around us, eating the entire pint of ice cream when we’ve had a really bad day.
We go to karaoke and pic good, strong, manly songs, or Frank Sinatra, when really we just want to belt out some Beyonce or Aretha or Reba. We’ve evolved far enough to love our tinydogs, but don’t dress them up the way we really want to. Admit it…you’d love to put your chihuahua in a tutu. We punch each other on the arm or body-check each other into a wall or do a poor imitation of the Three Stooges when all we really want is a hug, a real hug, more that the hug-thump-twice-on-the-back. We resist massages while thinking about how nice it would be to lie in a candle lit room getting our muscles to finally relax.
Bathroom locked? It should be. There’s a good chance we’re playing air guitar in the shower or being a rock star with a hair brush. Put your ear to the door. You might catch us singing along to nothing.
We complain about mowing the lawn and doing dishes, but really, sometimes it’s nice to have time to so something relatively brainless while humming the earworm we’ve been stuck with for days. But since it’s the Beib, or Miley, or Abba, or John Denver, whoever our favorite guilty pleasure singer is, we don’t mind it too much. But we think that we in any or all of these, are the Only One.
You are not the only one. It only feels like you are because men are not having these conversations. They are talking about what they like and like to do, see, hear. But I guarantee there’s a lot they aren’t saying. We try to find the right balance between being ourselves and meeting expectations and gender norms in interests and hobbies. Most of you will succeed. Some of us will not, or will fake it to be accepted. Some of you want to keep your secrets secrets. Some of you want to share them. Some of you get great ideas from what other people shared and wish you could share them, too. To the guys putting themselves out there, bravo. For the rest of you, it’s ok. There’s no rule book for this.
Gotta go. Steel Magnolias just came back on.
—Photo Carsten Schertzer/Flickr
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My Life Is An Open Book My life is an open book, but for you to have a good look, a study, of course, you must seek, for I find that it’s written in Greek. For me it’s just as confusing, and sometimes I find it amusing, to lay it all bare and give you the dare, to add it all up and see where… I could have gone wrong, should have said it with song. Where the lyrics would be less important, and the words what you’d call an assortment. But is the melody all that we want? when… Read more »
The Boss’ post is the reason most men don’t atlk about it. Say you like something associated with women, and the teasing starts. Nothing is inherently for the use of men or women. Except for maybe tampons and jockstraps. They’re just marketing to what they think is the overall norm, which it isn’t. Is a pink hammer the one used by women to hammer a nail? Shoot, gotta build something but the pink hammer is the only one I can find. That won’t work. I like chick flicks. They tell a better story, usually. I like better smelling deoderants, and… Read more »
Since when have all these things (except maybe 90% of chick flicks) been innately feminine?
Guilty of-
Natural soaps, shampoos, and colognes. I like the way they smell, but the biggest reinforcer are the compliments I get from women. Even strangers. Compliments from anonymous women in a grocery store will definitely get you to repeat that behavior.
Have a good evening, y’all,
CM
The beauty of being human is that no one, I repeat NO ONE, has the exclusive right to define what “being a man” really means. Only the individual can do that. Neither the author of this piece, nor you The_Boss, are any less or more “manly” than the other. I am fortunate enough to have a broad spectrum of men in my life. Some of them knit, some of them like to tinker on cars, some of them like to write poetry, still others thrive on karaoke, and some of them have vaginas. They are all men, real men, because… Read more »
The Boss seems to have missed the point. It’s not these SPECIFIC things that he attributes to all men liking. It’s things like that. If it’s not Beyonce, maybe it’s Taylor Swift, if not, maybe it’s Tiffany or something. You can’t sit there and claim that you’re just all man and don’t buy into anything that’s not marketed toward your male-mind…you can deny it to us, but you can’t deny it to yourself (that’s the point of the article)….or maybe you can deny it to yourself which is maybe why you’re here perpetuating the stereotypes that this site is meant… Read more »
The_Boss, men do buy that stuff but I see no reason to discuss it. I like body wash for one reason, I only have to use one thing in the shower. I wash my body, my hair and lather up to shave with it. I get what’s on sale or what my wife buys me. Nonetheless, I’m sure some guys do those things and I would venture to say that there is reason they don’t talk about it. Kinda like that Seinfeld episode where Elaines dad was singing “master of the House” in his car.
Incorrect. And Men don’t complain about mowing the lawn, as far as I have experienced in my life. There’s a reason we don’t like chick flicks, YAWN, they are boring. Men and women think differently, it’s just how we’re wired. And those singers you named? Talent is not in their vocab. Beyonce is overrated ever so highly, Bieber sounds like a twelve year old girl who couldn’t make glee club, John Denver, meh he’s okaaaay I guess, but not very catchy, and abba? I hate abba. There are many other inaccuracies that are only things YOU like. But the majority… Read more »