This morning, clad only in a tight-fitting pair of boxer briefs, I stepped on the chilly glass of the digital scale in my bathroom.
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As the numbers “172” began to flash, I pondered how this same exact scale read “222” only 24 months ago. I used to dread looking down to see the results of my sedentary lifestyle and piss-poor eating habits, but being fifty pounds lighter gets me excited to see the positive impact of my two-year long (and counting) lifestyle overhaul.
When I was in the Connecticut Army National Guard (2001 – 2009), my body weight fluctuated like crazy. So much, in fact, that my “battle buddies” would often make comments about it. I’ll be the first to admit that my diet and nutrition “plan” at the time came solely out of necessity to pass an annual physical fitness test. I would succumb to laziness and completely let myself go for the majority of the year, packing on a bunch of “McMass.” I would then attempt to prepare for the tests by exercising for a few weeks, but on test days I usually came up short of the required number of push-ups or sit-ups that would warrant a passing score. If I was able to muster through those two events, my body would be wiped for the 2-mile run, so I often took far more time than allowed to complete eight laps around the ¼ mile track.
Despite failing the fitness tests, being in the National Guard did help me maintain some kind of baseline fitness throughout my 20s, and my weight generally stayed around 190lbs – 200lbs. It was only after I was honorably discharged as a Veteran in 2009 that the pounds really started sticking to my already stocky, 5’8” frame. By the middle of 2011, I had reached a milestone of sorts: I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life.
At that time my brother—who is 10 years my elder—was told by his physician that his lifestyle was the equivalent to “driving toward a brick wall at 100 miles per hour with no seat belt on.” If he didn’t change his eating and exercise habits, it was only a matter of when, not if, he would have a stroke (or worse). I knew that at 32 years old and 222lbs, I was on the same crash course as my brother and had to do something, but I had always had a great deal of trouble sticking to a workout regimen or diet.
So, I started kind of small. I stopped putting sugar in my coffee, instead choosing raw agave nectar to sweeten my morning beverage. I also stopped using any form of cream, particularly the sweetened, flavored kinds we all know and many of us love. Next, I pretty much stopped drinking soda. I’ll admit that I still enjoy an occasional glass of sweet, dark brown liquid with pizza or Chinese food (cheat meals are important!), but for the most part I stay away from the sugary, chemical-laden drink. Instead, I drink at least a gallon of water per day.
I also started cutting back my food portions, and added a salad to most meals. For example, instead of chowing down half a large pizza, I ate a salad along with fewer slices of melted mozzarella and tangy sauce-covered ‘za. I found this satisfied my palate while saving calories at mealtime, plus I was left with something for breakfast or lunch the next day (cold pizza is THE BEST).
Those dietary changes had a good impact, and when combined with an exercise regimen that focused on cardiovascular and plyometrics exercises, my body weight dropped from 222lbs in November 2011 to around 205lbs in June 2012. Feeling pretty fit, but plateauing and beginning to fall back into not-so-great diet habits, I was extremely lucky in July 2012, when my friend Kristen introduced me to the fastest-rising sport in the country: Roller Derby.
At the time, Kristen—AKA “Kernel MustHurt—was playing in a bout with the CT Roller Girls at Galaxy Roller Rink in Groton, Connecticut. It was my first exposure to roller derby since the clothesline and elbow-packed spectacle “Roller Jam” of the 1980s. I was immediately hooked on this new incarnation in which athletic, powerful women gracefully smash one another on an oval track which is lined by spectators who sit cross-legged, waiting for an unfortunate derby player to be blocked into their laps.
While watching Kristen’s bout, I was enamored by the lithe sprinters—known as “Jammers”—circling the track so fast it was difficult to keep up, while “Blockers” strategically positioned themselves to assist their jammer and prevented the opposing jammer from passing. Much like lacrosse, hockey, and rugby, this fast-paced, full-contact sport requires playing offense and defense at the same time.
After the bout was over, Kernel could apparently see the glimmer in my eye and began pointing out male referees who had just worked the aforementioned bout. She told me that they played with Connecticut’s only all male roller derby team, the CT Death Quads. I knew I had to check it out.
Stay tuned for Part Two!
Previously published by Be You Media Group