He went for the woman who liked him. Then the woman he REALLY liked changed her mind. Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt advises…
Question: Have you ever been a love triangle? I feel like I am in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle right now! I have two great female friends. We have all been best buds for what feels like a lifetime – Well one of them told me how she felt about me and we decided to start dating and not tell the other friend. Well now the other woman has told me how she feels about me! Honestly – she is the one I really have feelings for – what do I do?
Answer: What a great problem to have. Two women who like you! Seriously, hearts are on the line. Here we go…
1. Secrets: With a bond you’ve cultivated for what feels like a lifetime, to begin keeping secrets is a betrayal. I know you probably just didn’t want to hurt her feelings, yes? However that’s saying she’s broken and can’t handle life. I invite you to hold her as whole and complete, able to receive your truth with kindness, tenderness and honesty.
2. Settling: Love, if you liked one, yet dated the other, then you’re betraying your SELF! Were you just flattered and turned on by invitation #1 such that you avoided your own inner truth about #2? Happens. One way of living is to passively receive what life gives you. Another way of living is to proactively create what you truly desire. I’m not saying don’t sit back in faith and receive unexpected miracles, I’m saying you liked #2 more than #1 yet didn’t do anything about it.
3. Strength: Well I really mean Courage but I was trying to keep with the S’s. Courage my friend is what’s being invited to emerge from within you heart. Courage to honor friendship with honesty and kindness. Courage to take the time to get really solid with what you desire before you jump into something. Courage to NOW face both of them, tell the truth, be kind to YOU and them, own your mis-steps without excuses or justification, and ask How can I make up for the damage done?
Being able to apologize and sit in the face of another’s pain or disappointment, and not fix them, or plead innocent or justify your behavior… takes great humility and courage. Their pain is their pain. Just get them. Just listen. No need to do anything else other than acknowledge their experience. This of course requires that you can sit in your OWN pain and not make yourself wrong, not check out with a drink or shopping spree, and soothe your own Soul.
This was a HUGE challenge for me when I needed another’s approval for my worth. I felt terrified that if they stopped loving me, that the very fiber of my being would literally dissolve into thin air! Poof!
Now that I have stopped judging myself and honor my Soul, I can sit with another in their pain and not fix them. I can sit in my own wholeness and not freak out justifying my worth in fear of losing their approval! This creates great trust, respect, intimacy and connection. If you’d like to create the same thing with your loved ones, learn how in my complementary report and video series found at www.GetHerToSayYes.com.
Unbridled love, Allana xoox
Photo: www.Flickr.com Taz Ziorior