Yesterday a video
appeared online.
In it, Steve Perry,
the former lead singer
of Journey
performed onstage
for the first time
in almost two decades
during the second
encore of an Eels concert,
Apparently Perry has never really discussed the reason why he stopped performing and his reason for returning like this is just as mysterious. And while I know most people will watch this and go, “What? No “Don’t Stop Believing”? What a rip off!” it made me think about how long it has been since I stopped performing.
Funnily enough, it’s been almost two decades too.
Back in high school, drama was my passion. I was in all the school plays, was regarded by everyone as the teacher’s pet, performed in some videos, did some actual theatre and won several awards and scholarships. But once I hit university, I only appeared in a single play and pretty much gave up on my performing dreams.
I stopped acting for several reasons:
I found that my stage fright was only getting worse as I went on. Instead of getting easier, waiting for the performance to begin only made me more and more nauseous.
I didn’t like the pretensions of my fellow actors. I thought acting was fun, but they regarded it as very important business and it was hard for me to take them or it seriously.
I realized that I was better at being a really entertaining version of myself on stage than I was at creating characters–I practiced what I called the “anti-method”, in that I took every part that was given to me and turned the character into Allan Mott.
I came to the sensible conclusion that based on my size and appearance the absolute very best I could hope for professionally was probably a career spent in regional theatre playing the lead’s comic sidekick. I was never going to be cast as Hamlet.
But even though I stopped, it’s never really something that completely goes away. Every now and then I find myself in front of people and the old instincts kick in.
There was my brother’s wedding, where my best man’s speech earned me my first standing ovation.
There was the mandatory corporate orientation where I spontaneously lead my fellow new employees in a group chant as part of an improvised presentation on safety.
There was the quarterly staff meeting where I found myself singing the lyrics of a Bruno Mars song I’d never heard before from my iPhone solo in front of the entire organization.
There was my cousin’s wedding, where–as the emcee–I sang Maroon 5 and killed with jokes I’d literally written the night before.
So, I think I can understand why Steve found himself on that stage in St. Paul. The rush is so intoxicating–it’s like free-falling. Once you’re out of the plane there’s nothing to do but enjoy the drop.
I probably won’t ever act again and even though I’ve occasionally thought of trying my hand at stand-up (for which I am probably better suited), the fact that I haven’t already is probably a sign that I shouldn’t. The best go up because they have to–they have no choice. Clearly, I’ve made my choice and I have to accept that.
But the itch is still there. Do you know what I’m talking about? Is there something in your past that you used to do that you would love to return to? Do you know why you haven’t? Do you think you might someday?
I’m sorry. Did someone say STEVE PERRY
So there is only one real regret I have in life, and I don’t even consider it a regret because I can’t say it would’ve been a good thing. Who can ever say? But when I was in high school, I was more serious about singing than anything else in the world. And I was pretty good, actually. I started classical voice training in 9th grade and continued for four years. My parents were incredibly supportive of it, more than anything else I did – but with no pressure. I sang in church, I was in choir the first year… Read more »