One reader reflects on the change in attitudes towards men touching one another.
Jonathan Pratt, in response to The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer by Mark Greene:
“But here in America, generations of Puritanical sexual shaming have made it a central question.”
It’s not Puritanical, at least, no, not directly. It’s Victorian. It was during that era that corn flake cereal was invented to curb sexual libido, and table legs were covered to avoid sexual thoughts. Many scholars and researchers have noted that our mores are still based on that era (including also the Edwardian period). Ironically, however, platonic touch between men was NOT seen as sexual during that time, and that included men sleeping in the same bed. This was especially noted observing the time of Abraham Lincoln; it was not seen as anything sexually untoward. We have actually twisted past Victorian sensibilities; there are articles online right now showing portraits of men together and commentary assuming that they are romantically involved, when such a conclusion cannot fairly be drawn.
That said, I am a father, and my son has always DEMANDED some sort of platonic touch, and that profoundly changed my life. He is 7 now, and has autism, so some of what he does is challenging at times. But I realized early on that he was very happy just to have physical contact of some kind. Can he be rough? Absolutely. He does the rough-and-tumble bit plenty. But many days he pretends to be a dog, cat, or a pony, and asks repeatedly for a pat or some sort of touch as such.
Photo: Jennuine Captures/Flickr