Mark Sherman finds a 2nd Half Superbowl Commercial Sexist Against Boys (and Men)
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Like many millions of people, I was pretty much glued to my television screen last night, watching the Super Bowl. And though the thing that everyone will remember about this particular game was what has already been called one of the greatest gaffes in sports history, the play call at the end of the game, which allowed the New England Patriots to beat the Seattle Seahawks, I will also remember at least one commercial.
Even people who are not interested in football watch the commercials. They have become increasingly expensive over the years, so that by last night a 30-second spot cost 4.5 million dollars. Obviously, this is because it is common knowledge that you will almost never have another broadcast with such a large viewership. Last year, the audience in the United States was 110 million, and there’s reason to believe there were even more viewers last night.
The companies buying this time will obviously spend a large amount of money to produce the most creative and clever ads they can, so it is truly disappointing when a company — in this case, T-Mobile – runs an ad with the very talented Sarah Silverman and Chelsea Handler, only to include in their commercial – seen by more than 100 million Americans – a blatantly sexist line.
The ad shows the two women going back and forth trying to one-up each other on all the places where they are able to get Wi-Fi, including Handler’s “subterranean petting zoo,” Silverman’s trophy room, Handler’s “figure skating basement,” and, near the end – at 0:18 – Silverman’s underground delivery room.
Silverman is handing the baby to the new mother, with the father standing nearby, and after saying to Handler, “Sounds great from my underground delivery room,” she says to the mother, “Sorry, it’s a boy.”
I was taking notes on the commercials about whatever gender implications they might have, and I had been very happy to see at least a couple of ads which focused favorably on fathers. This is progress, I thought. But then, in the second half, there was this one, and I reacted angrily. Actually, at first I thought maybe I had misheard the line, so I played it again.
There it was. I had heard it right.
“This is sexist, isn’t it?” I said to my wife. I was still a little incredulous.
“It is,” she said,
The ads focusing favorably on fathers is a great step in the right direction. But to have the line “Sorry, it’s a boy” in a commercial viewed by more than 100 million Americans is a step backward. As one person wrote in a comment to an article about it, “This commercial was disgusting. As far as I’m concerned they committed a hate crime against all men. I fired T-Mobile and switched carriers because this commercial offended me.”
And let’s face it, however much the Internet lit up with people upset about the ad – and it did — that would be a mere blip compared to what would have happened if the line had been “Sorry, it’s a girl.”
I am very involved with a group trying to encourage the President to establish a White House Council on Boys and Men to address issues like this, and ones even more important, such boys lagging well behind girls at all levels of schooling, committing suicide at far higher numbers, going to prison at a far higher rate, and on and on. There is a White House Council on Women and Girls, which the President established shortly after taking office in 2009, but thus far there has been no action to establish a parallel one for boys and men.
But commercials like this one show that the time has more than come. There is no excuse for nonchalantly putting boys down that way. As the father of three sons and the grandfather of four grandsons, I find it especially outrageous. But we should all be outraged.
Sorry, it’s a boy? I’m sorry that such a commercial would air, and on probably the most watched show on national television. And T-Mobile should be really sorry that this is the best they could come up with.
Here is an interesting example of how women have used institutional power (the power of the vote in this case) to oppress men. http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2vc6d5an_example_of_sexism_against_men_the_austrian/ As one commentor said, the issue only concerned men so why were women even allowed to vote on it. From the main article: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-21110431 “With all votes in the referendum counted, except postal ballots, 59.8% voted to keep the draft with 40.2% against, the interior ministry said. ” “Austrian men must serve six months in the army or nine months in civilian service when they reach 18.” It isn’t just military. “Those who do not want… Read more »
@ Donna “John, your answer seems to imply that you think woman CHOSE this role (primary caregiver) and that it wasn’t imposed on them for hundreds of years by the dominant group in society (white men – at least in regards to North America). These ‘norms’ were not decided on by everyone.” What makes you think that they hadn’t? You said they got a bad deal. People agree to bad deals, but it’s questionable whether that is even the case. Men may have owed everything, but they were also responsable for everything. For example, lifetime alimony doesn’t necessarily sound like… Read more »
@John Gottman
I’m no longer engaging in this conversation for two reasons. The first being that it seems clear you have no education in the history of women or any intention on educating yourself in that area. If you’re still questioning whether women agreed to be oppressed by men, then we really can’t have a constructive conversation.
Secondly, your language is frankly oppressive and sexist.
@ Donna Strange how when counter arguments come out supported by facts it’s time to end the conversation. Far from not being educated on the history of women. I’m significantly more educated on the history of men and women as they are intertwined. I don’t pick and choose historical events and context and disregard those that don’t support my position. You are correct in the belief that I have no interest in being indoctrinated into a heavily censored view of history, which disregards any facts that directly contradict a political belief because that’s what you have a belief like a… Read more »
I recognize that intersectionality plays a specific role in the discourse of oppression, however in North America, the dominant group in society is white, middle class, MALES. I’ve mentioned intersectionality numerous times in my other posts. I don’t think your statement that the “absolute demarcation line in power and oppression in gender” is correct.
In fact I think I was told that using intersectionality to discuss oppression doesn’t work by another male on this site…
@ Donna Mostly_123 makes the same point I’ve made on other articles on this site. It’s not that there is no merit to the theory of privilege and by extension intersectionality. It’s that privilege theory upon which intersectionality is based is rigid. It does not take into consideration situation. In the situation of the prison system, women are privileged as a group. I find it strange how people can see something plainly in front of them and deny that it exists and that there is something else there. When you say women didn’t create the systems, you’re saying that it… Read more »
“I could pull up statistics but just look around you. What are the women doing that the men aren’t? Why is abortion still illegal in some places? Why are our women being murdered, raped and assaulted on a daily basis BY men? Do men also face disadvantages because of their gender? Are they also killed and assaulted? Absolutely, (and largely by men, might I add) but the numbers and experiences of women speak for themselves. These disadvantages should be addressed and mended (though as I previously stated, I believe this is also achievable trough feminism). But the disadvantages of men… Read more »
John, your answer seems to imply that you think woman CHOSE this role (primary caregiver) and that it wasn’t imposed on them for hundreds of years by the dominant group in society (white men – at least in regards to North America). These ‘norms’ were not decided on by everyone. How could they have been when it wasn’t even 200 years ago that women weren’t even considered persons in the eyes of the law – they were property of their fathers and husbands. If you didn’t know this or have no background in the history of women, I highly suggest… Read more »
“Sexism should be reserved for women because it addresses the systemic oppression that women have always faced. What then do we call something that is discriminating to a man based on his gender? I’m not sure. But I do believe that these terms need to stay separate. Saying that men suffer from sexism, completely lessens and ignores the seriousness of the sexism faced by women. They’re not comparable, not in the slightest.” Donna, I think you’re utterly wrong on this principle. You’re advocating a double standard that completely erodes the moral standing, the credibility, and the virtues of equality which… Read more »
“Feminism and gender theory is premised around the misguided notion that gender has an absolute value in a singular equation, and that it is an independent variable (indeed, THE preeminent variable above all others) in this equation: It isn’t.” This statement is false. Feminism is not under this ‘misguided notion’. In fact, third wave Feminism is incredibly based in intersectionality. This realization should contradict everything you’ve just said. I suggest you do your research on what a movement stands for before criticizing it. Here are some links: “That’s why feminism today is a movement of intersectional solidarity, discourse regarding the… Read more »
“This statement is false. Feminism is not under this ‘misguided notion’. In fact, third wave Feminism is incredibly based in intersectionality.” I disagree- But as I said, I believe intesectionality is just a fig-leaf for gender as the characteristic above all other characteristics; yes, it pays lip service to the notion of the value of contextualizing other demographic traits & factors, but at its core it is still premised around gender as the axis of which all else revolves. It still accommodates and perpetuates a mode of thinking which views gender (and analysis of all connected to it) collectively; a singular,… Read more »
The term “sexism” wasn’t even coined until the 1960’s in an effort to define the historical systemic oppression of women. You can read about it here: https://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/feminism-friday-the-origins-of-the-word-sexism/ I don’t know any Feminist who defends anything that harms boys. In my persional opinion, the complete erasure of the gender binary would be the most beneficial. When we speak of boys and girls we are ignoring the lives and experiences of trans, intersex, two-spirited people that also face oppression. In response to your third question, it’s not that I have a “distinct inability to want boys to be uplifting for some sake… Read more »
@ Donna I hope you don’t feel picked on and I don’t think anyone here believes you to be a bad person. The difficulty I think people are having is that there seems to be a blatant inconsistency in thought. I’ll try to explain. We look at the causes of the wage gap. The main determinate is having children and the societal expectation for women to be the primary care givers. Feminists see this as sexism because societal expectations are part of the system. Men are affected by this same system in that they aren’t the primary child care providers.… Read more »
I don’t know any Feminist who defends anything that harms boys. Its not that feminists defend things that harm boys. Its the fact that feminists tend to treat those harms as side effects rather than problems of their own. If being a girl is no longer perceived as being weak or less than, how can we use “you’re being a girl” as an insult to little boys? And by that same token if we stop insulting boys in the first place wouldn’t that be of help? Using the concept of “girls are weak” to insult boys is a problem but… Read more »
Thank you for taking the time to clarify some of your thoughts Mark Sherman. I think if you had addressed this in your original article it would have been more clear. However, you still failed to explain why you’ve misused the word sexism. As someone who is highly educated and aware of Gender Issues, surely you know that it is impossible to be sexist againt men. Prejudiced, yes. Offensive, (in this article) possibly. But not sexist. This is not a recontextualizatio. of the word as some people have described it. The same goes for racism. Sexism is an oppressive act… Read more »
Educated, how? Your definition of sexism is factually wrong.
This is not a recontextualizatio. of the word as some people have described it. The same goes for racism. Sexism is an oppressive act and this commercial is not oppressive. So what you’re saying is sexism has been incorrectly defined for all of history all the way up until about the 1960s around the rise of feminism? I think some people are confused that Feminism seeks to help only young girls and that’s simply not the case. Confusion? If that’s the word you want to use for feminists that will in one hand rightly call out things that harm girls… Read more »
@ Donna @ Danny Danny you might find these two comments I placed on two articles interesting. Donna, you might find them illuminating and maybe you’d rethink that skewed definition of sexism. This is the one on feminist critics getting the feminist definition of sexism and it’s relation to power. So I ran across this article at everyday feminism. It’s so deeply flawed that it could be an entire article on it’s own “The first important thing to understand about sexism is that it is systemic. Gender-based prejudice, on the other hand, is individual, although it exists in the context… Read more »
I think that you might want to consider the intersectional aspects of the point you raise. How does race play a role in the justice system? How does class?
This isn’t a men versus women issue. Actually, Intersectional Feminism tries to take in account all levels and avenues of privilege and oppression such as class, race, sexuality, gender, physical ability.
@ Donna I hear this argument a lot to try and defend female privilege. Here’s the thing if it was race, there would be equal numbers of black women in prison as black men. There aren’t. If class was the issue, there would be more women in prison than men. There aren’t. We could look at sentencing disparities, sentencing departures, etc. We may find differences between the groups, but within each group we’d see the same thing. The common denominator is that men get longer sentences for the same crime, fewer sentencing departures, etc. The system may be oppressive to… Read more »
If its not about men v women then why is it that intersectionality is often pulled out when pointing out oppression of men? Seriously I don’t see too many feminists seriously trying to argue that pointing out the oppression of any other group is incorrect because of intersectionality. I think the problem is the notion that men cannot be oppressed for the sake of being men and in and of itself. It always has to be something else like race, age, sexual orientation, etc… If feminism took into account all levels then why is it so hard for feminists to… Read more »
Hi, @Donna.
The statistics apply across the board re boys trailing girls (in the good stuff; they are “ahead” on the bad stuff, like suicides, school suspensions, etc.). The gender differences are definitely larger for young people of color, but it is a general issue.
My hope is that more and more people will recognize that on so many measures our boys and young men are in trouble and need our nation’s attention.
I think the main real point of all of this is that if there is so much discussion points whether it was sexist or a joke, then the commercial didn’t write well enough to get whatever their message was intended to be. It was shown here with typical American views, so most folks wouldn’t come anywhere near getting the irony of it all. Therefore it fell flat for whatever it was trying to say. Ergo, bad commercial. BTW, I do believe in the basic comment that if it’s offensive for one gender, race, culture etc then it’s offensive for all.… Read more »
I’d like to say something to the many concerned people who have written in taking issue with my concerns about boys and young men. I’ve been married to a strong and smart woman for nearly 45 years, and I know the kind of sexism she has experienced. But she and I both recognize that things have changed dramatically for women over these years. And she, as well as my three daughters-in-law, have reaped the benefits. Are men doing well in our society? Yes, many of them are. But no matter how well they are doing — and, in fact, many… Read more »
Until men AND women stand together against ALL discrimination of ANY kind, our world will continue to swing back and forth between one bias and another. We really need to put aside our differences and start batting for EVERYONE. The ad was offensive to SOME people due to discriminatory reasons. That alone should be enough reason for EVERYONE to stand against it. And the same goes for ANY other ad that does that to ANY other group, be it gender or cultural or whatever.
Very well said, Ben. I think this “swinging” back and forth is exactly correct. People seem to go from one side ot the other about an issue and never find that sensible balanced middle ground.
It’s not funny for the same reason it wouldn’t be funny if she’d said ‘sorry it’s a girl’.
Plus I think it is pretty clear that her statement is based solely on her own thoughts. So she doesn’t like boys (in this skit!)? That is okay, that is her opinion, we all have opinions. What is so wrong with people where one person’s personal comment makes them so mad? This comment is not going to affect anyone’s life so move on. There are lots of other much bigger things to be worrying about in the world right now. Who goes “well I thought I wanted a boy but then I saw this funny commercial and now I know… Read more »
@ KA
So you’re saying that people shouldn’t get upset with shirts that say “Cool story babe. Now make me a sandwich” because it’s just one guys idea of how relationships should be or unless you feel that caring for a person is somehow wrong or is it just because the slander is targeted toward men? Do you feel the same about the like a girl commercial because you should only take offense at you run like a girl if you believe that girls are inferior?
This is crazy. If you take such a simple joke so personal then it might hit a closer cord to you than you want to admit to yourself. If you have kids and have never been upset about their gender then you should be able to laugh at the ridiculousness of her statement.
You seem a little hysterical there, bro. You on the rag?
(Every time a woman posts a pro-woman article, she gets trolled about her gender, the desire to rape her, etc. So I thought a little turnabout was fair here.)
what does those situations have to do with female trolls briganding on this men’s site and spouting their female supremacist views. I love the way men are still suppose to take on the chin when it comes female abusiveness.
Earl in their minds its not abusiveness. Its joking or sarcasm or social commentary.
You ever hear of the line “Intent doesn’t matter”? Well apparently when being offensiveness and sexist towards men is the exception. Intending to not be sexist matters and therefore it was not offensive/sexist.
Are you kidding me bro? Taking notes huh? Apparently the notes you were taking were ONLY about men. You didn’t notice all of the other stereotypical and s exist garbage that was displayed in several other super bowl commercials portraying women negatively as usual. This is a joke, get off your high horse. It’s a comedian, everyone else in America understood that. Women on the other hand? We never catch a break, and we are better than men in every way. Such a double standard
@ margo
“You didn’t notice all of the other stereotypical and s exist garbage that was displayed in several other super bowl commercials portraying women negatively as usual.”
Now you did it. The topic police will probably start coming out complaining that this article is talking about the one commercial. Oh wait, you didn’t say anything in defense of men. Never mind.
“and we are better than men in every way”
Really? So you’re saying that line in the commercial wasn’t a joke because it would be better for the parents if they had a girl?
Hey Margo, if women are better than men “in every way” why are men the ones in charge again? I mean, according to feminism anyway…
I found the commercial to be mildly offensive but the comments to be more offensive. The people defending the obvious gender bias in the commercial have generally demeaned men, insulted men’s intelligence (you just don’t get it) and ignoring male feelings that women do not share (women do not feel offended so the feeling is not real) all while waving around past bias as a justification for their current bias. Making correct semantic points about the definition of sexism does not justify your gender bias. Individual males acting badly does not justify your gender bias. Calling obvious gender bias a… Read more »
“Men need to stop worrying about women and start worrying about themselves.”
Have you taken a history class before?
LOL . . . Nice!
near to every culture in human history has demanded men risk their lives for women and children; at the sinking of the titanic, you had wealthy privileged men who felt obliged to not save their own lives in favor of non-related poor working-class women.
Its pretty shocking to see people that would rightly be up in arms over jokes about girls to turn around and defend jokes about boys. Even to the point of redefining words like sexism to suit their biases. The thing is when it comes to the “parents have wanted boys more than girls” in the past its because boys were considered useful. Not because boys are respected. Not because boys are better. Just more useful. We’re talking the difference between picking a hammer over a screwdriver. Now that times have shifted boys are aren’t useful as they once were. So… Read more »
Danny, you are an old hand in the gender studies business, of course you know that this is not a redefinition of the word sexism, but that instead it is the official “social sciences” definition, which has been in place for a long time. You know, the +power formula. This is one big thing that severely limits my ability to associate myself with this cause (or any cause that does a comparable thing) and I think it is a good yard stick in general: If a group’s ideology argues that some act is permitted if they do it, but forbidden… Read more »
Danny, you are an old hand in the gender studies business, of course you know that this is not a redefinition of the word sexism, but that instead it is the official “social sciences” definition, which has been in place for a long time. You know, the +power formula. Oh I know what it is. Its been around for a long time. Didn’t like when I first came across it and still don’t like it now. If a group’s ideology argues that some act is permitted if they do it, but forbidden if someone outside the group does it, run… Read more »
Somehow I can’t be angry at Silverman. She is a comedian, it’s just how she rolls. And she has way more charm than Charlie Hebdo too. And I don’t believe she has it in for men in particular. (But then I have not watched all that much of her stuff) What I am angry at are the thousands of online comments à la “Now the shoe’s on the other foot, see how you like that, misogynist bastards that you are, all of you!” One more note: The logical inference that because in some parts of the world girls are unwanted,… Read more »
One person’s clever joke is another person’s ‘micro aggression’ and vice-versa. If one proceeds from the notion that gender is the supreme font of all societal power, differentiation, and oppression (and thus that all women are disempowered & slighted because of it) it becomes easy, -even logical- to justify & rationalize slighting or belittling another gender in return: It’s justified as a healthy & reciprocal slight to restore or to create balance; not as disproportionate, misguided or otherwise symptomatic of any of its own innate lingering sexism. Through the grand lens of gender one can appeal to aggregate and/or past historic… Read more »
Actually, I was over the moon when my first (a girl) was born. When my son was born… I had to get used to the idea. I wondered for a while what was wrong with me. In the end, though, I am thrilled to have them both. Life’s way too short to be sharting over MRA vs. rad fem arguments. I mean, I truly believe that violence/microaggression against women is truly real, but yet, I also see our society letting down men terribly (gender bias at school, decline of manufacturing in the U.S. hitting blue-collar class hard). It’s possible to… Read more »
I’m male and the commercial didn’t really bother me, especially after reading that Sarah Silverman is a comedian and that this type of satire is part of her humor. I actually agree with what “Tasha” said above about all the BS that women unfortunately have to put up with almost every day that men RARELY need to put up with (expect her last paragraph with the stereotype about video games and men not taking responsibility- one, a lot of men DO take responsibility for their lives; and two, video games DON’T prevent that, you can definitely do BOTH- you CAN… Read more »
Discrimination against any person is not OK. My friend once asked me in High School “How come it sounds OK to say ‘He’s a Christian’ but it sounds bad to say ‘He’s a Jew’?”
I wonder if T-Mobile had made an ad that said “Sorry, it’s a Jew.” if anyone would have been offended.
If the answer is yes, then we should all be offended by this. This dialogue is healthy and essential.
T-Mobile will only be sorry if it costs them money. They probably like the controversy. And it won’t cost them because most guys just don’t care about it. Look at the response to this article. It’s mainly women defending it.
In this thread: A bunch of women come onto a men’s site to screech about how women have it worse.
And not regulars either, as far as I can see. They just drive by to force their point of view onto an artice that is not meant for them. Making it all about them. I believe this is called “brigading”.
When I saw the commercial I honestly thought that what she was saying was sorry (because I’m on the phone being distracted from giving you your baby), and then separately its a boy.
If this is not the case then I completely agree with everyone who was offended by the commercial and that it is not a funny joke, but that’s not how I originally took the statement.
Jen, both you and Iaasc caught that and I think it’s brilliant, because it shows up all the rest of us as having read way too much into the 2-second line… I like your interpretation best, but the only crimp in it is the reactions that mom & dad have there before and after Silverman delivers the line- after she says “It’s a boy” they both give a sort of crestfallen reaction. Still, I could be wrong there- like I said, I like your explanations best.