What if Jovan Belcher’s Friends Spoke Up?

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About Nicole Daley

Nicole Daley is the Program Director of the Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships Initiative at the Boston Public Health Commission. She received her MPH from Boston University School of Public Health. She has been working in the field of teen dating violence prevention for over 5 years. She has conducted local and national workshops on healthy relationships, healthy break ups, conflict resolution, and media literacy. She taught middle school and high school for 3 years in Japan prior to beginning her career in dating violence prevention.

Comments

  1. Standard anti-dv agitprop.
    Heck, you don’t even know if there was bilateral violence in this relationship, esp. as you’ve defined violence to include “cursing out a partner”.
    Some news stories seem to think the reason this happened might be related to his concern about paternity fraud – i.e. was she cheating on him, or perhaps worse had she attempted to pass someone else’s baby off as his? That would not EXCUSE it, but it might EXPLAIN it.
    Or maybe he just snapped from all those concussions. We can all speculate and who the heck currently knows? All I know is you have your “power and control” wheel out and right now that’s where your stuck.

    • Yeah, it seems, if I read this correctly, our resident ‘relationship expert’ has determined this to be a typical problem of male abuse.”At the Boston Public Health Commision’s Start Strong ; Building Healthy Teen Relationship Program, when we talk with youg MEN about unhealthy relationships…” So, it’s a MALE problem. Gee ,what a surprise! That in the gyno-centric world of ‘Relationship Experts’ it should be described as a problem with men! The sad part is, until this problem (and it does seem to be a growing problem) is addressed in a truely gender neutral way, your tuning out most of the male population and achieving absolutly nothing!

  2. In the 40 years since the start of the women’s domestic violence prevention movement we have learned what to say to victims, male and female, about domestic violence, but as a community people are at a loss for what to say to a perpetrator.
    On a side note have we really learned what to say to male victims? I’m asking this because it looks like there is still a problem if male victims being treated like perpetrators (assuming they get any treatment at all). Don’t get me wrong things look better now for male victims than probably even 10 years ago but it’s not like it’s all figured out.

    Clarence
    Some news stories seem to think the reason this happened might be related to his concern about paternity fraud – i.e. was she cheating on him, or perhaps worse had she attempted to pass someone else’s baby off as his?
    It would be terrible if something like this were true. Terrible because such an explanation would more than likely be ignored by the “it doesn’t matter its wrong!” crowd. And that in an of itself would be more terrible because that could change this from “he just wants to control her” to “he was hurt and didn’t have a healthy way to handle it”.

    The “it doesn’t matter its wrong!” crowd seems to have no problem with the harm that comes at people who deal with it in unhealthy ways. Which I think may be a problem in and of itself.

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  1. [...] was a comment left on a post we ran over the weekend, in our continued response to the murder-suicide of Jovan Belcher and [...]

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