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This is making the rounds on Facebook, as it should. Stereotypes about men still need to be shattered, apparently. They are not sharks. Nor beasts. Nor…pussy-grabbers. No matter what.
We found it on Sebastian Bieniek’s Facebook page, and he added this commentary:
This photo was posted on STFU, Conservatives Tumblr page last night. The reason why I’m sharing it is not because of the photo itself (which is epic in it’s own right), but for the comments it generated. One person wrote, “but then again, its kind like putting a meat suit on and telling a shark not to eat you”.
STFU responded to that comment (with bolded text):
“We (men) are not sharks!
We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct
We are capable of rational thinking and understanding.
Just because someone is cooking food doesn’t mean you’re entitled to eat it.
Just because a banker is counting money doesn’t mean you’re being given free money.
Just because a person is naked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to fuck them.
You are not entitled to someone else’s body just because it’s exposed.
What is so f*cking difficult about this concept?”
Bravo.
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The original photo was part of this project:
Project “Not Asking For It” was created with the “intention is to spread awareness that, no matter their clothes, gender, or level of inebriation, no one is ever asking to be sexually assaulted.
University students were provided with the opportunity to have either a picture or a dance video taken of them, wearing anything they chose, in an attempt to show that they are not asking for “it.” The organizers of the project emphasized that “it” refers to unwanted commentary, name-calling, touching, harassment, assault, rape, or anything that makes the victim feel uncomfortable.”
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This post is republished on Medium.
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I see this comment so often: “Men are visual animalscreaturespeoplewhatever”. Yeah, okay. If his penis is in charge of a man’s life, he has a very sad and limited life. I will feel sorry for him but if he touches me and I don’t want him to touch me, the fight is on and I will win.
Whatever logic is given; men ar visual animals, can’t deny that…..Sometime I wonder people in history realized the need of clothes and now why the current gen is baring it all. Even men walking bare chested is indecent. Instead of making them point their flaw….the women are taking to bare it all…Insane!
Yeah, actually… these women ARE asking for it… whether they like it or not, THEY cannot control how men will react when they undress themselves in public. These idiot women HAVE to start realizing that not all men are “normal” and there are complete crazies out there who WILL attack them if they act this way. Also, they HAVE to realize that with rights come responsibilities, and this sh*t is completely irresponsible. Why put your head in the lion’s mouth? Just dress normally and stfu. I’m sick of this bs, and no… I’m not one of the crazies… I think… Read more »
Men have a different view than women. Most men would think she “wants it”. That’s been my experience. Even the guys that wouldn’t “do” anything, still think it.
Just because some people are murdering their citizens doesn’t mean you’re entitled to bomb the shit out of them.
As a woman who wears jeans and a t shirt (not low cut) on a day to day basis. I get unprevoked attention on a day to day basis when I am in public. I have had men try to grab me more times than I can count. I have read the comments on this before I posted, but I want to ask the men that have said they are so repressed this, Every morning do you have to make a decision to wear what makes you feel good about yourself or something that you know you can get away… Read more »
Hace you ever asked yourself why the kind of clothes that makes you feel good is THE SAME kind of clothes that attracts not wanted behaviours on you?
I think this is important.
i’m not sure what she isn’t asking for, but it does seem as though she’s asking for attention
And maybe sexual attention.
Men need to stop getting defensive about feminism. As a man, I find it embarrassing. Stop feeling so threatened because a group of people who have been kept down in many ways over the centuries, are speaking up for themselves. It’s on par with asking “Why is there no white history month?”
No, Jason, it’s not. Not even close. And I think you don’t realize it, because I believe you feel essentially comfortable in your role within traditional society, so not only do you fail to see how it oppresses men in general, but you very much cling on to the chivalrous role of protecting females, in this case from privileged men. Not that it’s an entirely bad thing: it’s very much a part of the search for equality for men to care about the oppression of women, and to stand up for their equality. The problem as I see it is… Read more »
It’s interesting you called it a “vindictive” brand of feminism. True feminism seeks equal footing with men. It is some men out there that continue to follow the beliefs of “rape culture” that give men a bad name. And yes, I’m certain men have their own struggles to contend with. Yet, there are certain luxuries that men have & women do not. For example; do you know what it feels like to have to guard your drink in a bar? Do you know what it feels like to have to look in your backseat, or worry about who’s around a… Read more »
Spent quite a good time reading most of the comments, people have very varied opinions so i’ll tell mine. No matter what she wears, rape is rape. The fact that girls dress “sexy” doesn’t mean that she wants to be raped. If she says no, it’s no. Period. It’s even uncomfortable to go out with my girlfriend at certain places in summer, in her shorts or skirts, because I do try to avoid other guys staring at her. It’s uncomfortable. Staring and being attracted to a girl’s body is simply instinct, and you just won’t stop stares. However, raping is… Read more »
You can put as much window dressing and sympathetic bromides to try to reframe it, but your comments are still nothing more than victim blaming. I know I was a victim advocate for 30 years, I’ve heard every imaginable justification for the “she was asking for it” sentiment. Yours is no different. Anyone who commits a violent crime against another person is 100% to blame the victim is 0%. Saying that a victim just Had done this, or not done that they wouldn’t have been victimized is hold the victim partially responsible for their victimization. And in so doing you… Read more »
While I understand your points I would like to tell you that as a Corrections Officer, I dealt with actual sex offenders and learned that what one is or is not wearing was never, even once, a consideration in picking a victim. In one case the victim was a 90 year old woman. I’m pretty sure that she was not “scantily clad” at the time.
this might seem like the most simplest of questions but………….what does she want me to do ?
To have you leave her alone.
Who says she wants you to do anything?
When you say, “[full photo below],” wth are you talking about?
Just for an interesting addition to the topic, when male on male rape within the prison system is included in statistical analysis, men are raped at a much higher frequency than women. Rape is not a man vs. woman issue. It’s a power, dominance, act. It is done by violent individuals. The anti men vitriol that gets passed arround when talking about rape is as insensitive as claiming the woman was responsible. “Men” do not rape people, violent rapists (be it any gender) rape people. To say anything else is to be blind to the issue. Dress, act, be vigilant,… Read more »
As a Correctional Officer let me tell you a little about prison life: Male on male rape does occur BUT it is a rare event. Most prison sex is consensual. The old “If you go to prison you will be raped” crap is homophobic bull shit!
This woman has the full right to dress like this. She can even work like this. Its a place called a strip club. She can utilitze all her feminist rights.
On the other hand, if she wants a normal high paying job that utilizes her mind and other talents (provided she has any) she will have to dress just as modestly as the rest of us and for the same reasons. That reason being that this kind of nonsense is a distraction and is ugly and no one (except at the strip club) wants to see it.
Spoken like someone who has truly missed the whole point. Not easy to do, but you managed it.
AGREED David Beatty!
@courage. You can, just take off your shirt just like she did. In Ontario she is doing nothing illegal. And no, she does not look smug. Methinks her nakedness is turning you on and you are upset about that so attacking her! Rape has been over and over not to be committed (at least for the most part) by horny men. It is a power issue. I doubt men look at a frail 90 year old and think “Oh mama, gotta get me some of that!” And she probably isn’t dressed provocatively. I have been date raped twice…once when I… Read more »
YES! Many rapists don’t even orgasm. It is not about sex. It is about power over.
I find the smug look on this woman’s face to be obnoxious as if she is saying “I can expose myself with impunity and there is nothing you can do about it.” Does this mean I can drop trou and expose myself to the world? I mean if she can why can’t I?
She isn’t exposing her genitals. She is exposing her breasts.men also have breasts, and nipples, which they are permitted to show. So bad comparison. She doesn’t look smug to me, just defiant. To me she’s just making a small point, which gives people a talking point. Two points from her two pointy nipples.
Yeah, and there are appropriate places for men to be shirtless. While it’s legal for a man to be shirtless pretty much anywhere outside, it is inconsiderate to people who maybe, just maybe, don’t want to see you without a shirt on, even if you think you are sexy and everyone wants to see you. There are very few acceptable occasions for a man to be shirtless, and I can only think of the beach as an appropriate place for men or women to be showing off their bodies.
The are you talking about? She isn’t showing her vagina. I’m so sick of these double standards
You moniker fits you cowardly, but I would add intellectually lazy. You looked at this picture and the message she wrote, and the only thing you have to comment about is her “smug” facial expression. Wow! Talk about obtuse.
Ok, my prior comment about nudity being illegal as an expression of community standards (Columbus, Ohio being the exception) obviously has been deleted. But it is in most jurisdictions so even if you claim that your nudity is not implied consent to be the recipient of sexual expression by someone attracted to your nudity it is nonetheless an illegal exposure of body parts society does not want to see. Given that community standard what purpose does it serve to expose your breasts and pubic hair in public.
Here’s the problem I see with this entire concept. What do you think people are questioning when they ask about what a “victim” was wearing? They aren’t questioning whether her clothing gives a “rapist” the right to rape her, they are questioning whether or not she really is a victim. Don’t get me wrong, if a person says and indicates at any time that they don’t want to have sex, (or if they can’t say yes), then having sex with them against that will is wrong, and it is rape. But rape is not such a straight-forward crime, because the… Read more »
I think you are missing the point. Women who are raped are often told they were “asking for it” because they were dressed “provocatively” whatever that means. Many men assume that a woman is being “provocative” simply because she was dressed stylishly or appropriately for the place or season (e.g. shorts and a tank top in summer). But even if a woman is intentionally dressing to look sexy, say wearing a cocktail dress to a club, it doesn’t mean she “asking” to get raped any more than walking down the strret means you are asking to get mugged. Women aren’t… Read more »
I think YOU’RE missing the point. When women are told they’re “asking for it,” it’s not an admonition that they deserved to be actually raped. No one believes actual rape is OK no matter what the victim is wearing, or not wearing. The person who is saying it believes her outfit puts her in greater danger of being raped, not unlike leaving your house completely dark while you’re on vacation puts you in greater danger of being robbed. It’s a commentary on her wisdom, not the rapist’s guilt. You may not accept that rapists are drawn to provocatively dressed or… Read more »
“The person who is saying it believes her outfit puts her in greater danger of being raped”
Women are raped no matter what they are wearing, no matter what they are doing, and no matter their age.
90 year old woman raped on her way to the store: http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/jun/25/90-year-old-woman-raped-rochdale
Woman in Burkha raped while guying groceries.: http://olehgirl.com/?p=8842
People don’t judge that argument just because it’s offensive, they only judge it because it’s factually incorrect.
What a woman is wearing has nothing to do with consent. A woman in a skimpy outfit may have absolutely no intention of having sex with any particular person. Assuming that skimpy clothing is evidence of consent is the problem we are discussing. And saying “she asked for it” does imply the woman wanted it or at least is at fault for getting raped.
Fine. I’m all for freedom. But for diversity’s sake, let’s extend the parameters a bit: Would a male, very liberally clad, also not provoke a detrimental reaction from some; being misperceived as being overtly licentious, predatory, or otherwise ‘creepy’? Since what a woman wears has nothing to do with consent, one could argue that so to should the same presumption of intent be extended to the wearer, be they female or male. One could also argue then that, reciprocally, a liberally dressed man is not, and should not be assumed to be licentious. And what about age as well as gender?… Read more »
first, let me be clear, I’m not advocating that anyone run around naked! I personally prefer that people dress appropriately – a bikini is fine at the beach, not at the office. That said, a lot of what women wear that’s considered “provocative” are just stylish or summer clothes, such as a summer dress or shorts or a cocktail dress at a club. Should women wear long sleeves and ankle length skirts to a club? Men can wear shorts, tank tops, etc. without generating negative assumptions. should men be able to dress as skimpily as some women do and not… Read more »
I think the point that any particular clothing does not imply consent is so obvious and so banal due to this obviousness…..
On the other hand, modesty is still a virtue (for men and women). You make a trade off… if you want respect you choose modesty… if you want power and attention you flaunt….
You choose….
I hear a lot of one-track mindedness here. It comes from the presumption that a so-called “victim” is telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It comes from a determination to see all women as frail and helpless victims, and never capable of gross misinterpretation or even deliberate evil. If you picture the world of women being constantly victimized by society, and by men in particular, and in conjunction you afford them the status of being faultless, then you’re going to believe every alleged rape victim from the outset. You’re going to think, “that poor woman; why does… Read more »
Paul, here is actually a very simple way to clear up the issue of consent, and I am a great proponent of this method; ask. We have all heard the old saying, ‘no means no,’ but we often don’t realize that the contrapositive of this statement is, ‘yes means yes.’ If you want something, especially of a sexual nature, ask a person for it. Speak directly and clearly and allow the other person a chance to make a decision. If both (or all) people in sexual congress follow this simple rule, then everyone gets to have complete control of their… Read more »
John, I started explaining why your whole argument was based on the false premise that women exist purely as sexual objects for men. I realized it was a lot of wasted effort on someone who clearly won’t understand. Here is a more simplified response. If you deem a woman provocative, that is your problem, not the woman’s. If I find a guy to be an a-hole, I am not allowed to punch him in the face. If you find a woman provocative, it doesn’t give you permission to touch her.
Heterosexual men are attracted to the female body, that is a fact. There is provocative dress, and modest dress. You know what is provocative and what isn’t. It isn’t our problem that you are half-naked and we are attracted to that. How about being considerate to everyone else, women included, that don’t want to see 75% of the skin on your body? I don’t think John once suggested that a woman acting and dressing provocatively gives him permission to touch her, I think his point was more that if you dress to get attention from men/people, you will attract attention… Read more »
This is the best comment. You said what haven’t been able to put into words.
No, I said nothing about women being sexual objects, but only that any adult person is responsible for their sexuality and they are responsible for the power of their personal sexual energies. Provocation is a form of disrespect for oneself and others. I stated that I see her as a very troubled woman looking for trouble with great likelihood of attracting it. There likely will be several victims resulting from this and she is probably more of a perpetrator than an innocent victim. I resent the idea that any adult is granted a ‘victim pass’ just because she is female.… Read more »
“Sorry, but our system has recognized you may be a spammer. Your comment has been held in our spam moderation queue.”
No I am not a spammer and can you please release my comment after it is reviewed by a human? I am a regular reader and commenter on the GMP website. Thank you.
“What is so fucking difficult about this concept?” There is a lot of mixed messages being conveyed here and yes it is difficult to figure out. If this young woman is being sexually provocative in a public place while sending the message that she is not being sexual, I detect a bit of cognitive dissonance. All sorts of primal chains are being yanked and everyone is expecting a calm, rational response. I find this very offensive and manipulative. GMP should have more sense and balls than to stoop to this level of gutter emotionality. When did you become the National… Read more »
There’s no “cognitive dissonance” here. It’s very, very simple. No matter how “sexually provocative” someone is being, you do not have the right to have sex with them without their consent.
Being provocative confuses the message. Please notice that no one in this picture is even attempting to have sex with this crazy woman or even paying her any attention other than the voyeur photographer. As a therapist of mine said, ” if you say crazy things, expect a crazy response.” There is a lot of craziness being expressed here and being naive and feigning innocence is frankly insane. Why aren’t her mother or sisters, friends helping her make better decisions for herself? Crazy attracts like kinds. Yes, as adults, we are responsible for our actions. This is sexual provocation and… Read more »
There is no craziness, there is no mixed message. It simply put it does not matter what a woman is or is not wearing that ever conveys the message you can have sex with her. If it does, I think you need to look more about what that says about yourself than about the woman you are looking at.
I was raped as a seven and eight year old by an aunt. If anybody were to question whether it had happened because of what I was wearing I’d feel fucking privileged. Instead I’m supposed to consider myself lucky. The mere mention of it has led to my being assaulted for “saying horrible things about women”. I’m apparently a pervert because a woman raped me.
Fuck the lot of you.
I think it is wise to lock your car door, and hide your cell phone and any other valuables when you leave it. It’s the thief’s fault if he steals my car, but I’m still the one who suffers, so I’ll take as much responsibility for my own actions as I can. I think it is wise to lock my doors and windows at my house when I go on vacation. It’s the burglar’s fault if he breaks into my home, but I’m still the one who suffers, so I’ll take as much responsibility for my own actions as I… Read more »
Now we are getting to what the true focus of all this should be.
JohnH, why do you automatically assume a topless woman is being sexually provocative? She’s just standing there, having a smoke without a shirt on. Would you say a man doing the same is being sexually provocative? I think it’s time you analyze your own assumptions, your own uncontrolled sexual feelings, and stop making the rest of the world responsible for them. Would a child in a state of undress be sexually provocative? It’s the human body man, lets grow up and stop assuming an uncovered human body is always sexual. Also, I hope you know you are essentially saying “she… Read more »
The message really is simple, and it’s for people like you who find it confusing that we need to make it really REALLY clear. A woman can act in the most sexually provocative manner possible, and yet it STILL doesn’t give anybody the right to have sex with them and claim “she was asking for it”. IF she is being provocative, AND you approach her like a decent human being AND she agrees to sex .. then all’s fine and dandy. IF she’s being provocative, AND you approach her AND she says no… she is not a whore, dick tease,… Read more »
If a woman is being sexually provocative around men but doesn’t want to have sex with any of the men she’s sexually-provoking, then she is BY DEFINITION a tease, or a ‘dick tease’ as you put it. She is not “just being a woman, expressing herself to the world,” she is being inconsiderate to the very men she’s trolling for attention. We don’t want to be distracted by you, we don’t want to see you half-naked. Women demand men be considerate to them and their needs but they don’t give a fuck about being considerate to those same men, who… Read more »
I don’t think anyone has tried to say you can or can’t get turned on. The point is, if you do get turned on, it is always your problem, not hers. You feel like labeling someone else, that’s fine. The big point is that you are always responsible for your actions. There is no such thing as ‘s/he made me do it!’
This is the truth.
A woman has bared her breasts. And it seems sufficient to put many in grave difficulty. We have to ask why. If a man has posed the same way, why doesn’t he make news? At a different level, if one notices the caption on her skin, she makes it clear that wants people to note those words. I still remember how many men even from the western world expressed why she must be f***ed with no regards of how they are giving their own making away … it is not even passion but the ‘right’ to f*** a body because… Read more »
Ben, (in general),men are violent against men and men (in general) are violent against women.
So, we have to assume that men are more violent than women.
Please don’t lecture about how unsafe the world is for men. Women grow up being told how careful and aware they have to be in every circumstance. Women are fearful walking down ANY street alone, day or night.
Thank you. YES.
Ann, generally I disagree with you here because (generally) the people who think like you are wrong, and, generally, the people who think like me are right (generally speaking). And I know this because, -generally- there are far more people that share experiences & beliefs like mine, rather than yours, and so my generalizations are broader than your generalizations. Therefore, by the weight of greater generalization, my experiences and perspectives are simply & proportionately more valid compared to yours, generally. Thus (generally speaking) your opinions and arguments have far less weight, and therefore should therefore be taken far less seriously, because,… Read more »
You’re speaking generally. I get it. Unfortunately I can’t understand what you wrote because of the distractingly frequent number of times you used the word generally (and variations of). Any chance you could put your point across more succinctly, say in 4 lines or less, and with a maximum of one repetition of *that* word? I think you probably have a good point, if only it could be understood 🙂
“You’re speaking generally. I get it… Any chance you could put your point across more succinctly, say in 4 lines or less, and with a maximum of one repetition of that word?”
..No.
“Please don’t lecture about how unsafe the world is for men. Women grow up being told how careful and aware they have to be in every circumstance. Women are fearful walking down ANY street alone, day or night.”
The majority of the victims of violence committed by males are male. The majority of the victims of violence committed by females are male.
So amy, you would say it better to be blissfully ignorant of the dangers you are likely to face rather than be aware of them? Because that is it sounds like as is the case with men. Do you really want to make it so women are unafraid of the real dangers they might encounter; not remove the dangers and make their environment safer but simply remove the public awareness of those dangers just so women do not experience fear and inhibition? What of the possibility of that removing the social awareness of the issue would also remove the social… Read more »
Ann your reluctance to acknowledge that men face dangers in this world too kind of worries me slightly. “Please don’t lecture about how unsafe the world is for men. Women grow up being told how careful and aware they have to be in every circumstance. Women are fearful walking down ANY street alone, day or night.” …i mean, seriously? what the fuck kind of a comment is that?
In my experience women are more violent than men.
Being this is a man’s space – men too also have this issue.
This whole thing is so misguided. Most men don’t go around raping people. Just like most men don’t go around killing people. Not because a basic drive to have sex and gouge our rivals doesn’t exist but because the majority of humans are decent and have enough empathy to feel and imagine even some of the terror and emotional pain they would cause by doing it, and therefore would not do it because they understand at least a bit of how awful it would be to be the subject of such an attack, man or woman. Unfortunately, there is a… Read more »
Oh, thank God we have Ben here to remind us that not-literally-every-single-solitary man is an, ahem, legitimate rapist. And to remind us to pay attention to the victims who actually matter, i.e., men who are the victims of male violence. Bravo, good sir. Godspeed.
Ben, thank you for your comment. You’ve adeptly put into words my feelings about the topic which I was never quite able to articulate.
I very much agree with Kaitlyn there- good comment Ben.
I think that Kaitlyn’s sarcasm went right over your head.
I think that your presumption that Kaitlyn is being sarcastic rather than expressing herself clearly and directly is kind of arrogant. The equivalent of assuming a person saying ‘no’ actually means ‘yes’
Thanks Richard- I very much agree with your rationale there, and I thought you made a good point about the dangers of simply blindly assuming another person’s insincerity and/or cynicism- Unless, of course, you yourself were being sarcastic; in which case it went over my head (or, over my head again) – but either way, good on you.
Ben, you are missing the point. I do agree in protecting yourself, but, women are raped no matter how much, or how little clothing they wear. When a women is raped, the first question most ask is “what was she wearing?” As if what a women wears in any indication of what she “wants.” When a man is raped, because, yes, it does happen, do people ask that same question?
“When a man is raped, because, yes, it does happen, do people ask that same question?”
No, people don’t ask the same question about what he was wearing because mostly, people don’t even believe him and they make fun of him for being raped. Raped men have little to no resources available to them, and they are usually the butt of jokes, because society is unwilling to acknowledge them. Acknowledging that men can be raped and be victims of domestic violence means acknowledging that women can be rapists and violent and society is not comfortable acknowledging that.
Amy, you are assuming that those raping men are women.
I think that is not a valid assumption.
So, a woman couldn’t drug, restrain, forcibly incite an erection (it IS possible, it’s a PHYSICAL reaction to stimulus that DOES NOT require a man also be mentally acquiescent or EVEN CONSCIOUS), and then rape via envelopment? Or, hell, even rape with a foreign object, lacking a penis? Some women rape, too. We can’t even say that they “may not commit acts of sexual assault in as high numbers as men” because we refuse, as a society, to acknowledge that men can be rape victims and women can be rapists, so we try to avoid keeping records and statistics on… Read more »
I think Amy’s point stands whether male rape victims are as a result of female, or male aggressors. Whoever attacked the man, the fact that he is a male means that a) he’s less likely to be taken seriously and b) it’s really unlikely that it will be implied that he was asking for it by not covering up or dressing too provocatively.
Same goes for women. Men are assumed the rapists.
Great post, Ben.
No, it’s not. Ben’s comment is terrible.
Ditto. Ben’s comment is terrible. Wear whatever the f*** you want. walk around waving your wallet around and talking loudly in your new iphone about your expensive watch. Rape, theft, assault, the blame lies entirely at the door or the perpetrator not the victim. I don’t ever want to hear of another court case where the defence even tries to say “but she (or he) was asking for it because they wore the wrong/not enough clothes.” Until the attitude of those defence teams and people like Ben’s comments are changed, we need to keep banging on about this. It won’t… Read more »
Ben, I’m going to take a wild guess and say you are a white guy like me. The day that black guys can argue with cops just like you and I can, without getting arrested, tased, or shot, I will agree with you. Women (and yes, men) get raped and experience other forms of violence and harassment no matter how much they protect themselves, and how much they protect themselves isn’t as important a factor in how much rape happens as is the culture that supports the assholes doing it.
You are utterly missing the point Ben. Women have been accused in the past of ‘asking for it’ because they were wearing a short skirt, had a few too many drinks etc etc. The point of these is to highlight that at no point does a women ever asked to be raped.
You contradict yourself. You are still blaming the victim for what the attacker did. The fact is, no one is ever a hard enough target to prevent an attack. If someone wants to victimize you, they will. Period. You have no say, no choice, and no responsibility. It is natural to think, “I could have done this,” or, “it never would have happened if s/he didn’t do this,” but it’s flawed logic and must be recognized as such. The victim is the victim and the attacker is the attacker. There is no grey here.
The common sense approach. Here’s the truth.
but is she asking for lung cancer?
Love this. I agree that I’m not asking for sex when I’m naked and vulnerable. The naked body doesn’t always mean sex. Sex is only to be mutually agreed on, not stolen or forced, definitely not drugging anybody into. Trying to feel liberated though still loving men, people, and their body image, doesn’t mean a woman is asking for sex.
While we are on the topic, last week for the first time in my life I heard one of those fabled “rape jokes” that everybody is talking about. I mean, rape threats, I knew they exist, I have seen them (against both men and women), but as something meant to be funny it was a first. It was Joan Rivers in her fashion show on E! who said, “At a court of law this dress would be considered consent.”
Nobody called her out on it. Guess there’s advantages to being a woman.