Guys, when it’s time to step up and ask that special woman out on a date, here’s how to do it.
Asking a girl out on a proper date is the name of the game. It’s how the men are separated from the boys. You want to be known as a take-charge man who goes right after what he wants. Asking her out on a date, rather than just vaguely suggesting that you two “hang out” some time, is how you’re going to show her that’s precisely who you are. Here are a few tips to get the job done.
Tip 1: Have A Rolodex Of Dates
Back in the day, a man didn’t have a smartphone; he had a little black book, or a Rolodex, with all his numbers in it. You need an inventory of potential date ideas. Search the Internet for killer date ideas and make a mental list of which ones appeal to you the most. Have a few different ones on hand that you can drop on the fly in case you’re in need. Having somewhere between five or ten interesting and creative killer date ideas is going to have you looking great when you pull them out at the right time.
Tip 2: Always Be Closing
A lot of guys make a very common mistake: texting, without cease. Remember, texting is great, but ultimately, it’s a communication tool for getting you where you want to be. You want to chat and flirt a little bit, but ultimately, you’re trying to ask her on a date, get her to say yes, and then finalize your plans. The best conversations are the ones that take place in person. Remember that 90-percent of communication isn’t about the words you use, but your body language and tone of voice. So get her in your presence!
Tip 3: Pick An Activity
Going to a movie or dinner on a first date is just about the worst thing you can do. The first doesn’t allow for any interaction between the two of you, and the latter is completely dependent upon it. You want something that allows the two of you interact, but doesn’t demand that you do. Activity dates, like hiking or hitting up a local art gallery, give you something to do while you talk and something to fall back on when conversation fails.
Tip 4: End Things Sooner Rather Than Later
You ultimately want to get women chasing you. That means leaving them wanting more rather than having them wishing things ended an hour ago. Dates with a built-in time limit are the best option because they allow you to extend things if you want, while also allowing you to get out of a date before it gets awkward. In the event of a true disaster date, having a built-in time limit is a lot more dignified than asking a friend for a rescue ring.
Tip 5: Set Up Another Date
When you’re on the first date, you should take a minute to tell her that you’re having a great time once or twice (but only if you are) and set up a second date (but only if you want to). That way, you’ll both know where you stand, and you’ll both have something to look forward to. What’s more, you’re going to have taken the initiative, yet again, which is something that women love.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo Elite Daily
About the author: Jordan Harbinger has always had an affinity for Social Influence, Interpersonal Dynamics and Social Engineering, helping private companies test the security of their communications systems and working with law enforcement agencies before he was even old enough to drive. Jordan has spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe and the Middle East, and speaks several languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war-zones and been kidnapped -twice. He’ll tell you; the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of), just about any type of situation. Here at The Art of Charm, Jordan shares that experience, and the system borne as a result, with students and clients.
No no no can we stop with this pretentiousness already. Hanging out and dating are not at odds with each other. This is just another neo traditionalist keep the status quo in check dating advice that just tells men to get back in line with your gender role or else. What feels comfortable not what is suppose to which I hope GMp doesn’t become that.
So like some said can we please stop with the dating advice especially the stuff Nerdlove does.
For me, hanging-out and dating *are* at odds with each other and I know a lot of women who feel the same way. Women don’t want to be with a man that isn’t clear on his direction. If a guy wants to “hang-out” with me as a friend, great! That’s all we will be. Friends. Don’t push for sex and try to be romantic with me if you consider this just a “hang-out” session. If you want something more with me, you have to be clear about your intention. And just as the emotional side of a relationship takes time… Read more »
Completely agree on making the date about her. Ask and listen as you’re interviewing for the position of girlfriend. Is she a candidate?
You should totally consider if she could be a good partner for you. But she is not there to fullfill a “job”. She is most likely there to see if she can find a parter, not a boss she has to please. Which means that while yes, you should have standards regarding the women you let into your life, you should also be willing to share what you have to offer as well.
Thank you for this. Of course I can’t speak for all women, but I can say I love it when a man takes the initiative to plan the date rather than asking me “What do you want to do?” or, if he suggests going out for dinner, “What restaurant do you want to go to?” I’m happy to try new things, so pick something! It gets tedious to be expected to be the one to plan everything, which has happened to me in the past. If we start seeing each other, I’m happy to take turns making plans and surprising… Read more »
Those tips can more or less be summed up as “Be more alpha!”
While I am torn on the validity of the concept as a whole, it is surprising to find it advocated on this website, of all places.
Great piece. These tips can easily be used for “hanging out” or creating a date. The difference between the two is largely semantic. Two people can “hang out,” literally, at the local rock climbing gym or outdoor crags, or for coffee, or for a drink….all things that could also, in the right context, be considered a “date.” Trouble is, lots of Gen X-Y-Millenial dames get freaked out by the idea, or even just the verbiage of “a date.” Couching the shared time together as “hanging out” quells expectations and makes it a casual, easygoing adventure, rather than a high-pressure “date.”… Read more »
I actually really like that Greg’s piece was strong about having a specific intention to ask a woman out on a date. (Although, I wish we would stop calling grown women *girls* and actually not be afraid to call them women.) I can’t tell you how many women I know want to know a man’s clear intention and simply be asked out on a “date”. Not this wishy-washy “lets just hang-out” business that is really actually a convenient way to remain uncommitted to even the idea of one little date. Gen X-Y-Millenials, which I am a part of, get freaked… Read more »
These are definitely good tips, all of them, but they are more about how to plan a date rather than how to “stop hanging out” and ask a woman “on a proper date”. The title and intro suggest that the tips are about the asking. And it’s the asking that can be the hardest part. Also, as a woman, I am not fond of the line, “You ultimately want to get women chasing you.” This statement seems to contradict the sincerity of the rest of the piece, which, aside from this one line, seems to be about how to plan… Read more »
Guys? Really. Skip the dating advice. All of you. Especially you, Nerdlove.
In b4 “JUST BE YOURSELLLFFFFF!”
Thank you, Jules! 🙂 I didn’t write this piece, but I had a hand in its posting…
Terrific advice!
I would add:
#6 Please please please make the date about her! Ask her about her interests, world views, what she wants out of life, etc. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN. Give her 100% of your presence.
Loved this piece.
You are welcome, Marie! 🙂
THANK YOU for posting this article, GMP!
As a dating coach, I can agree 100%. Get dates, guys!
I do understand that a large portion of the population (both male and female) don’t actually want to date, they just want to have casual partners. For those people, no worries…dating isn’t for everyone.
But for most people, dating will always be the gateway into meaningful relationships.